A Slip Of The Tongue?

An occasional slip of the tongue ... or a slip of the pen is normal and is quickly forgiven by the person listening or reading... that is ... if they even notice it. Even when they do, most people most of the time will recognize a slip of the tongue or pen for what it is and realize that what you meant to say or write ... is not what you did say or write. 

What the Senior Deputy Majority Leader Sandro Marcos said in the budget briefing of the office of the Vice President was a classic example that words clothed in elaborate, flamboyant, bombastic, and pompous fashion to communicate the minuscule of ideas you want to convey are not really a gauge that somebody is grandiloquent and intelligent. The intent of using flowery words or his tendency to use ornate language to say the simplest of things is an attempt to make themselves sound like they know more.

For the reason of "parliamentary courtesy, Sandro Marcos moves to "terminate the budget of the office of the Vice President." 

Huwaaaaat? Does that mean Sandro Marcos disapproves the budget of OVP... or does he mean to say he moves to terminate the deliberation of the budget to protect Sara Duterte from being deluged with questions she was not prepared to answer.

And good riddance Sara did not understand what he just said ... otherwise it is the end of unity as we know it.

You see a little learning is a dangerous thing.  Here you are at your most shining moment ... and you derailed it because you want to impress the audience ... that somebody that young ... he can go toe to toe with senior members of the house.

I can almost see political memes sprouting like mushrooms in social media to immortalize this booboo.

Sandro Marcos ends OVP budget hearing before P500-M confidential fund is...

For the reason of "parliamentary courtesy, Sandro Marcos moves to "terminate the budget of the office of the Vice President."  

That is the first booboo I noticed in this video. Was Sandro ambivalent about the budget of the OVP? His move wants to terminate the budget ... but he looked like he is all for it too ...  or it is just the way he worded his move?

When Sandro Marcos moved to terminate the budget ... Rep. Raoul Manuel of the Kabataan party-list was overheard saying  "I object ... ".  Does that mean the young congressman approved the budget ... or he was not listening to what Sandro said? He should have thanked him for doing that act of valor and praised him for distancing himself from Unity's team politics. Was he objecting to something he didn't understand? STRANGE. Watch the video and savor what transpired that fateful afternoon.

The whole proceeding was a comedy of errors. After that, Madam Chair joined the fray when she reiterated and echoed Sandro's move, "We have the motion duly seconded for the termination of the budget of OVP ..." Pheeew!

ACT Teachers partylist Rep France Castro also echoed "I object" sentiments, but she was groping for the right words to say ... uh and uh punctuated her arguments ... she stammered her way to reach her goal ... it appeared weak and insignificant before the eyes of ENTITLED congressmen. She was like a fly waiting for the fly swatter to land on her face. And indeed ... somebody turned off her microphone before she spilled more beans and added more salt to VP's wounds.

This could have been a good venue for the VP to clear herself of any suspicion with regard to her CIF. Her allies doing this only cast more doubt on the VP's handling of public funds.

Questions About Entitlement

Remember the last time we posted notes about entitlement and entitled people? More reactions surfaced, and some of these inquiries we felt were important and had valid points. We can't just ignore it and lay it to rest.  It would be a big disservice if those important questions fell on deaf ears. Here is one of them.

Question: You said entitled people are narcissistic and the "me" in them makes self-importance be fed and watered. How do you discuss things with a person with entitlement issues?

Answer: They always try to win an argument because they believe they are always right.

They get offended, when somebody has a differing opinion ... or an opposing position. Some of them may tell you you are a bad person for not agreeing with them. So the next time there will be a discussion at hand, they will disagree and argue with you ... just for the sake of disagreeing or arguing. If there is another person with the same entitlement mentality, they will tag-team or roast you in tandem. At times they will go out of bounds when they sense they are losing the argument ... they start getting personal with you and may call you names.

Keep in mind that when you are in a disagreement - remind them to keep it to the “topic” and not to make it about you personally ... or make personal attacks. It helps keep the conversation focused, and it also helps to preserve the discussion as the problem your group has surely needs solutions ... after a thorough debate.

How do I win an argument with an entitled person who will never admit that he is wrong? Or better still how does an entitled person lose?

I tell you ... don't you ever go that road? Do you think it is worth your time and your energy? Ignore the possibility of having a debate with them. As we said at the start ... they are there to WIN ... come hell or high water ... so what the heck?

Entitled people are hard to deal with. Entitled people have high expectations and if their anticipation that their idea will reign supreme at the end of the discussion ... if it goes the other way ... it can deflate their self-balloons leading to disappointment and psychological distress. Entitled individuals' perceptions of another person voicing out a different opinion make them believe they are being treated unfairly. And having difficulty maintaining positive relationships with other people ... his losing the debate is a preview of more bad behaviors waiting in the wings.

No Gratitude ... No Apologies

 

Question: Why is it hard for entitled people to say "Thank You. " And why can't they apologize?

Answer: A person with a heightened entitlement attitude does not include in their vocabulary the words Thank you and I am sorry. They are too drunk and high that all the free stuff given to them ... doesn't have value ... in their estimate... and they are not grateful because they feel they are entitled to receive it no matter what. Who says thank you for something that is free ... And who says thank you for services rendered ... when it is rightfully theirs in the first place?

They don't appreciate the little things you gave them - money, possessions, services because they believe it is their right to have everything. Para silang mga hari at reyna na pinagsilbihan ... kung pwede na lang pati paliligo nila gagawin mo pa.While everybody wakes up early in the morning to go to work ... you see them waking up late ... bukod silang pinagpala.

Entitled individuals are basically selfish through and through. So what the hell ... that you are expecting them to be grateful when you know in your heart they are selfish?  And are you kidding me when you expect them to say "I am sorry" when they don't have remorse or guilt? 

Find me a selfish person who lavishly communicates gratitude or "utang na loob" when you give something to them. Find me a selfish person who apologizes and asks for forgiveness when they did something awful. What I know is that selfish people keep their Thank You and I'm sorry to themselves because they have enough of the good stuff and they want more coming. What happens if they say Thank You and the respondent says: "You're not welcome!" And what happens when they say" I apologize ... and the answer is "Apology not accepted." Being grateful and apologetic is antithetical to their being self-important.  See what I mean?

Entitled individuals do not show gratitude because of their excessive sense of self-importance.  Hari ka na nga ... magpapasalamat ka pa? Di ba parang ibinaba mo pa ang sarili mo? May korona ka na ... magso-sorry ka pa? Hindi bagay!

Other reasons why it is hard for entitled people to show appreciation and remorse are arrogance, vanity, and their unquenchable thirst for admiration and approval. Self-entitled people pooh-poohed the idea of open & honest communication and relationship of reciprocity. The kind of relationship they want is take and take and never give. They anticipate you will give them "special favors" for free ... and they forget to remember ... to return the favor ... and to pay back. 

So in retrospect ... what is the psychology of lack of gratitude or lack of remorse? 

A study made by one university in America showed ungrateful people are more dependent and less autonomous than those who easily show gratitude or remorse.  One thing is consistent ... they can't survive on their own. They are also the very same people who can't face the harsh reality and have problems with self-acceptance that they need others to make them safe and secure.

Definition

Entitlement is... a belief that the person deserves something he did not sweat or struggle for. It is a belief that a person has a right to claim whatever he thinks he needs at the moment - be it money, or fame. power and position. Para siyang anak ng hari na kailangan kung ano ang gusto niya ay siyang masusunod. Gusto niya manood ng concert ... feeling niya he deserved the best seat. Papasok siya sa restaurant ... huwag kang tatanga-tanga ... because she believes she deserve the best service.  

Sila yong mga taong pinag-aral mo na ... they don't make it an opportunity to fine-tune their potentials.  OO nga naman bakit ka naman magsunog ng kilay para makuha mo ay good grades ... yong pasang awa pwede na. Deserve nila ang hindi stressful na pagaaral ... kaya to hell with graduating with honors. Entitled ako sa kung ano ang gusto ko. Ang importante ay ako.

Papasok siya sa school ... gusto niya maka-avail ng magandang allowance ... kung wala kang pera ... problema mo na iyon basta hindi niya deserve ang magutom. Bibigyan mo ng pambayad sa tuition fee ... no question ask ... at wala siyang remorse ha ... gagastosin niya ang pera to anything he has fancy on.  Magalit na kung magalit ang dapat magalit.

Sa trabaho naman feeling entitled ka ... kung nagde-demand ka ng ganito at ganire. Kung bukang-bibig sa iyo ang mga free health care, enormous pension, paid holidays and unlimited sick time na mga hinaing ...  nakakarindi ka na. Nakukulitan na sa iyo ang big bosses mo at yong pinagaasta mo is almost bordering on delusions of grandeur peppered with delusions of persecution.

Yong mga pumapasok sa bisyo ... halimbawa sila ng mga taong feeling ENTITLED that they can do anything they want under the sun.  Kung kailangan nilang magwala ... RIGHT nila yon because that made them feel powerful. Kung kailangan maging lasenggo sila or mag-druga ... PRIVILEGE nila yon kasi DESERVE din naman nila ang maging happy.  Kung kailangan nilang mangutang ... dahil may naisip silang masarap na kainin ... ano ba naman yong -treat mo naman ang sarili mo paminsan minsan.

Haven't you noticed there's a lot of that in our midst? People who thought their parents owed them something, so she had to give them a part of whatever money they earned. Ang pera ng parents niya ... pera niya rin.  At yong pera at sueldo niya sa kanya lang. Kasi deserve at entitled siya doon at walang karapatan ang parents na magreklamo. 

At dahil gahaman ito ... she has the gall to say what is in her mind. So if a person say, "Gusto ko nang mag avail ng mana ... can you believe 20 years old pa lang mana na ang nasa isip niya?  Hindi man lang niya tinatanong kung may mamanahin nga ba? Or nagpapatawa lang siya. Buhay at alive and kicking pa ang parents niya ay pinapatay na? At alam niya rin kung alin ang maganda ... at malakas ang loob na sasabihin na yong bahay sa Alabang ... sa akin yon."

Ang pagiging ENTITLED ay mga red flags na dapat tatandaan ninuman.  Anything in excess is abnormal ... lalo na kung may mga tao kang naagrabyado. Gusto mong maligaya ... pero may mga taong humihikbi dahil sa mga claims mong mga bagay na deserve mo. Feeling mo may right at entitled ka sa mga bagay-bagay ... pero paano na ang mga taong tinatapakan mo?

Abraham's One Liner

 

Some Good Things About Separation

 

What benefit can separation do to a relationship (husband and wife, friend and friend, parent and children, boyfriend and girlfriend, brother and sister, a person to his job, and the person to his community?)

The rule of thumb is ... it is absolutely healthy to spend some time apart ... but you can't maintain a strong relationship unless you spend time together too. If it is a trial separation... the persons involved should decide the yardstick on how long the separation will be. Experts believe the longest should be 3-5 months approximately ... anything more than that ... and you see the relationship is teetering on the brink of permanent separation.

As mentioned here are the benefits should you decide on a trial separation.

1. Separation can provide sufficient breathing room - a space where one can move freely and breathe comfortably.

2. Separation douses the fire, extinguishes the raging blaze of emotions, and prevents escalation of further discord and animosities.

3. Separation gives time for parties to contemplate and reflect on their situation and allows the healing process to start rolling.

4. Separation permits both parties to savor some autonomy. freedom and self-reliance while your relationship is at a standstill.

5. Separation releases all the negative pressures of life and makes you feel more relaxed and refreshed.

6. Separation (being separated physically from a loved one) intensifies their affection and their desire to be reunited.

7. Separation allows the parties to have their own space back, their autonomy, and privacy if constant meddling is a problem.

8. Separation makes it easier for reconciliation to happen if the parties opt to reunite.

9. Separation allows both parties to reconnect with hobbies or certain activities they used to do that were missing during the relationship.

10. On-again-off-again couples can enjoy their solitude ... their peace and quiet ... while the relationship is still legally intact.

11. Impulsive couples who hastily break up only to find themselves back in their arms later give them time to rethink and consider possibilities... or they want to move forward.

Separation allows you to experience what life would be like without the other person. It is the time to get away and escape the harsh realities ... and to take time out to see what the other side of the world has to offer.