Abraham's One Liner

 

Separation is Not All That Bad.

Separation can happen between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, a person and his job, or a person from his community or country. Indeed, whether to separate or not ...  or is it good or bad ... keeps hounding the involved parties. They really need to think about the reasons why they want to separate and decide what the separation is all about.

I am not an advocate for separation, but when everything seems useless and the relationship is going down the pits ... what else is there for you to do? You have done your best to save the relationship ... but it looked like the future looked gloomy and bleak for a reconciliation.

With the first question is the separation good or bad? Let us look at the situation on the brighter side of things. If a husband is separated from his wife ... or a parent to her children ... or a person to his job or country ... separation may give both parties the time for deep introspection and self-examination and spend time recharging their batteries and a ceasefire from all the war of words and acrimonious exchange. Separation is the most opportune time to work on issues related to communication, attachment, what happened to the relationship, and what measures you did that failed.

Separation can be made as an instrument to chill and cool things down to improve or save the relationship.  When the psychological steam from both parties has simmered down, and both are calmer, each person can think better as to what he really wants and what he is willing to offer to better the situation.

Separation when in a calmer place also intercepts the war of egos and the emotional storm that has been raging for months or years. When there is the inability to forgive, built-up resentment abounds, financial strain is up the ceiling, poor communication and intimacy problems acting like a Damocles sword hanging in their heads ... it is best to call for a time-out or a foul can happen.

When the atmosphere in the house becomes claustrophobic and the walls become so confined and close that you can't breathe anymore ... as one party indulges in name-calling, harassment, intrigues, blackmailing, and threats ... a separation can be a temporary anodyne and a recess to all these activities.

When the atmosphere in a workplace makes it look like an arena of combatants ready to fight and kill each other, where the ambiance so stifling and suffocating compounded by envy, gluttony, and jealousy ... it is imperative separation is in order so its workers can find the "oasis" in their desert of woes.

When the person owes money to practically everyone in the community or the person is into vices or alcohol and everyone is bent on having their own version of a manhunt to catch him ... when the person is flooded with criminal complaints ... the result can be stressful and exhausting to the person. A temporary separation or relocation is needed to allow the person to rest and relax (he can even go to another country) so he can regain his energy and his sanity.

This is a good time to reexamine what is so bad about you that the police is after you.  Think about it.