Netizen's Reaction

There is one photo of Hari that is soon to become viral, and commenters have a field day giving their two cents' worth, ranging from snide remarks to taunting or poking fun at the image.

I am not really sure kung legit at totoo ang photo.  Sa Europe ba yan? At saan naman niya nakuha ang mga sampaguita at mistulang nasa Quiapo lang siya. 

At bakit nakashort lang si Hari Ruki (it almost rhymes with harakiri - a ritual suicide by disembowelment with a sword practiced in Japan as an honorable alternative to disgrace or execution), knowing how image conscious he was, and he was never seen in a get-up like this in public places?

At bakit may tapal sa tuhod? Salonpas ba yon? Or naglalakad pa siya sa simbahan ng paluhod? Or hindi na niya makayanan ang lamig sa the Hague Netherlands (kung doon nga kinunan ang photo? Or gawang AI na naman ito?

Anyway, totoo man or gawa-gawa lang, the netizens were not reticent at walang preno ang kanilang bibig at keyboard sa paganalyze ng image.

Some comments were funny ... some scathing (although I hate stepping on the dying dog) ... some of their one-liners deserved to be preserved in this blog for posterity.

For their originality and tongue-in-cheek fashion, the comments were created with the intention that they will be valued and remembered by people in future generations. Here are some of the comments. 

-W.R - Hindi mo makuha sa dasal ang sitwasyon mo ngayon Roque. Kahit lumakad ka pa ng paluhod. Kasi panay din ang labas sa bunganga mo  ng masamang pananalita at kasingalingan.

- B.T - Kunyari lang yan. Gusto lang niyan ang sympathy ... eh, you can't hear remorse in him.

-B.L. Nakapasok ang demonyo sa simbahan?

-C.L. - Kawawa naman. Sana bunganga na lang ang tinapalan.

-A. J. - He wants to look religious ... and the image highlights the fact that he has no one to turn to.

-R.R - May rayuma na?

-R.A. - Photo ops lang.

-F.A. - May tapal sa 2 tuhod ... posas na ang kasunod.

-A.C. - Kung pumasok sa simbahan dapat ikumpisal na ang lahat ng kasalanan ... for your peace of mind. Confession na nga ... magabogado ka pa?

-B.N. - Pag-uwi niyan sigurado naka-wheelchair ... at naka neck brace.

-U.V. - Dapat bibig ang tapalan ... ang baho ng lumalabas ... nakakasuka.

1. 

   

   

   

.Eh bakit may tapal ... or salonpas pa sa tuhod

Responding To Netizens Comment

Iha ... maintiendihan mo ang pinagsasabi mo ... pag ikaw ay matanda na rin at ganoon din ang trato sa inyo ng mga anak ninyo?

How can you say toxic culture .... kita mo pamunu-an na ng Milo ang nagtanggal kay Carlos na maging model nila dahil hindi sila naniniwala sa points of view at mindset ninyo. Huwag ninyong sabihin na mali sila.

One thing is sure we are living in matriarchal society. Tapos ngayon gusto ninyong bagohin ang kultura ... to think na napakabata pa ninyo ... tapos nagsusuggest kayo ng total overhaul ng sistema ... dahil the narrative is too convenient for you?

What goes around ... comes around and I hate rubbing it in your face ... kung ikaw na ang nasa sitwasyong ng mga magulang ni Carlos. Baka mahimasmasan ka at bawiin mo bigla ang mga sinabi mo: starting with the reactions ng sarili mong parents sa mga maanghang mong pananalita.

Remember hindi nakasalalay ang tagumpay ninyo sa mga gintong medalya. Oo puno kayo nga biyaya ngayon ... pero pansamantala lang yan. Nothing is permanent in this world. Pinatikim lang kayo nga konting biyaya .... nagbago na ng ugali at naging madamot?

Tanongin mo si Carlos kung happy ba siya sa naging desisyon niya. One thing is sure ... there is a void in him, yong feeling na buo siya ... pero bakit parang merong kulang? Yong feeling na despite the money, the adulation that he is getting ... bakit parang may feeling of emptiness wanting to be filled.

You know what I mean ... dahil sa success at pera ninyo nagiging madamot kayo at kasabay diyan ang pag-itsa puera at buong giting na nakipaghiwalay kayo sa mga magulang ninyo ... for good ... walang reservation at pakundangan dahil nagiging selfish at greedy na kayo. See what money can do?

Tuwang tuwa ka nga at Olympic champion ka ... ang tanong ba ay kompleto ba ang happiness na yan ... eh sinasarili lang ninyo? Kumakain ka nga ng masasarap na pagkain ... but at the back of your mind sumagi ba sa isip mo na may mga magulang ka at kapatid ka na kumakalam ang tiyan sa gutom?

Doon sa victory celebration niya sa ASAP sa ABS CBN ... wow na wow siya sa lahat ng pagbunyi at pagtingala ... pero nakaya at nalunok niya ... na ni isa sa pamilya ay wala doon at hindi man lang naimbitahan? OO mali ang ginawa ng mother niya na kumampi sa iba instead of staying loyal to him bago pa ang Olympics.

OO mali ang paggamit ng kanyang ina sa pera niya but what is that sa grasya na tinatamasa niya ngayon? Saan na ba ang linyang: "Share your blessings ..." tinapon na lang sa bintana? Ang pera pag nawala ay puedeng kitain ulit... pero ang tuluyang wakasan ang isang buong pamilya dahil hindi ka sang-ayon sa ginagawa ng mother mo ... is preposterous. It is reckless ... imprudent, misguided and ill-considered.

There is no perfect parent ... or a perfect children. Lahat ay nagkakamali. Pero ang pagkamali ay puedeng pagusapan ng lahat ng members ... at puede kayong maggawa ng plan of action ... or groundrules para maiwasan itong mangyari ulit.

Hindi ba pwedeng pagusapan yan ng matino na walang ibang taong nagsusolsol at nakiki-alam? Hindi ba pwedeng magkapatawaran na ... at ipaliwanag ang kanyang saloobin sa mga rules and regulations tungkol sa paggamit ng kanyang pera ... and instructions that states the way things should be done ... what her family is allowed or not allowed to do?

It is bad na mag-wish ng masama sa kapwa ... but what happens kung iikot ang gulong ng buhay at biglang nasa ilalim bigla kayo. What happens kung ubos na ang pera ninyo ... at wala na yong dating liksi mo para tumambling? What happens kung isang one day millionaire phenomenon lang pala ang lahat, at naubos na ninyo ang yaman at yabang ninyo?

I hate to see Carlos in that situation (the parable of the prodigal son ) if he dares to swallow his pride to return to his family ... nagmakaawa para lang siya ay tanggapin.

Maraming nang nangyayari na ganyan iha. Mga amang hiniwalayan ang mga asawa , nagpakasasa sa mga biyayang ibinigay ng nasa ITAAS ... pagkatapos luhaang bumalik sa kanyang original family dahil wala na ang mga grasya ... pati ang ikalawang pamilya ... and the worst of all matanda na at may sakit na.

Isipin mo ang kirot ... yong nagsisisi ka na at lahat ... pero hindi ka matanggap ng mga anak mo dahil pinili mong iwanan sila kapalit doon sa isang pamilya na akala mo ay forever at panghabang buhay na ... panandalian lang pala.

Truth hurts iha ... at sana huwag mong isiping that I am sanctimonious and holier than thou para magbigay ng unsolicited opinion ko. And that I am morally superior and hypocritically pious para mag-impose na ang mga paniwala ko ay tama. Far from that. Nangyari na kasi sa akin ... iba iba lang ang kwento pero suma-total ganoon pa rin ang buod ng istorya.

Take it from somebody who has been there. I am just reminding you of your sins of omission and commission ... the lacks and the excesses you made because of your youthful indiscretions.

OVP Budget Hearring,

I just want to react to this post.

Pagkatapos tayong purgahin ng mga scoop at inside stories sa YouTube regarding the OVP budget hearings ... and then binondat tayo ng blow by blow account sa pag-ALICE ni Alice Guo ... tapos sa West Philippine Sea ginawa na yatang panata ng mga tsekwa ang mambomba ... pagbukas mo ng computer si Cassandra Li Ong at Pastor Quiboloy naman ang paboritong pulutan. Wait humahabol pa si Harry Roque. Ad nauseam.

And if that is not enough ... nakakarindi na rin ang mga mga poltical memes sa anumang social media platform ... bulag na lang at bingi ang walang ALAM at walang paki-ALAM. 

Kung wala kang reaction at chill ka pa rin and you don't care how government squanders and misuse the people's money ... if you are reacting matter-of-factly sa pag-island hopping ni Alice at Cassandra in their way to freedom ... and if you are emotionally ambivalent ... na instead of supporting the police in their quest to dredge up the fugitive ... you give them a thumbs down ... something is really wrong. IN YOU! At tama si Lex Francisco.

Pakicheck mo lang ang sarili mo ... dahil baka parte ka na ng problema - lalo na kung patuloy mong binoboto ng mga kandidato na parang hindi nagiisip.

Ang pagboto ay isang sagradong bagay. Habang yong matinong botante ay sinasala kung sino ang nararapat mamuno sa bayan ... ikaw naman naman nilalaro mo lang na para kang nakipag-jack en poy.

Kailan ka ba magigising sa katotohanan ... na isa ka sa mga dahilan kung bakit may mga senador na ginawa na lang nilang tambayan ang senado ... Ilang barko pa ba natin ang kailangang mabangga at mabutas ... pero dedma at wala kang marinig na sign of protest sa kanila.

Binoto mo sila di ba ... so okey lang ba sa iyo na pro-Tsekwa sila at hindi pro-Filipino? Ini-luklok natin sila sa pedestal ... and it is an abnormality na kampi sila sa kalaban ... at ang tingin sa iyo ay insignificant ... walang karapatan ... or worst para ka lang isang "MIRON" - walang value ... at hindi importante.

The Clash Of The Titans

                                        (Thanks to GMA News)

It was ominous ... with all that is happening in the last few days ... I could almost smell blood ... and the budget hearing for OVP has its gory details. 

I don't usually do ambush interviews, but what happened the other day was so tempting that I needed to feel the pulse of the public. And true enough ... the opinionated madlang people have a lot to say.

I saw a group of netizens in the coffee shop, and I also asked for comments from friends through FB, and the comments were almost slamdunk.

Everybody has their opinion. For what it is worth ... let us accept and respect what they say.

Mindset and Viewpoints: What can you say sa bardagulan sa 10 Million pesos budget para sa libro about FRIENDSHIP sa senate budget hearing?

Netizen 1: Hindi magandang halimbawa sa mga bata. Gusto mo magturo something about friendship ... pero kabaliktaran ang nakitang example.

Netizen 2: Ang naghihingi ng budget ... is war-freak. Feeling entitled?

Netizen 3: Kung sino ang binibigyan ng tulong ... siya pa ang matapang. Iyan na ba ang bagong kalakaran?

Netizen 4. Iba ang tinatanong ... iba rin ang sagot. Did I smell evasive ... or defensive?

Netizen 5: When the heart is full ... the mouth speaks. Naghahanap lang siya ng pagkataon para mailabas ang lahat. The budget hearing however is not a perfect forum to air her grievances..

Netizen 6: She had a bad hair day ... and displayed temper tantrums on national TV ... it looked condescending.

Netizen 7: Did she wake up at the wrong side of the bed ... or mainit na talaga ang ulo and just waiting for a willing victim to unleash the wrath of Gods.

Netizen 8: Nagmukha siyang plastic. Nagpromise siya ng tulong ... wala naman palang dapat asahan. 

Netizen 9: Sino ba ang namomolitika ... ang nagtatanong kung saan gamitin ang pera (which is normal in this type of hearing) ... or ang tinatanong na iniiwasan sagotin ang tanong ... who later become defensive ... at binalikan ang tulong na binigay sa nagtatanong ... na hindi naman pala ibinigay. What's the point?

Netizen 10: Hindi naman pala tumulong ... what good reason is there para ungkatin yon? So juvenile. And vindictive.

Netizen 11: Natuto na siyang tumira. Pero for crying out loud ... piliin naman niya ang tirada na hindi nagboboomerang sa kanya. She throws a "curve ball" ... pag bumalik sa kanya hindi naman marunong sumalo.

Netizen 12: Sa West Philippine Sea wala siyang comment ... pero ngayon she see to it that she throw her punches. Too bad ... palagi itong sablay. Wrong comment ... at the wrong time.

Some stray Thoughts on The Waiter Controversy

We are still on the waiter issue. Did it occur to you that they are CONFUSED themselves seeing you CONFUSED.

Naisip ninyo ba na nagaalangan din sila? Kung noong ginamit niya ay SIR ... may nagagalit. Baka kung ginamit niya ay MA'AM ... may magagalit rin.

Sala sa INIT ... sala sa lamig!

                                  *******************

"Ang ganda-ganda ko naman para tawaging SIR."

Beauty is relative. Each one of us has his own perception of beauty.  Sabi naman ng iba ... Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

To make it blunt: Kung gandangganda ka sa sarili mo ... don't expect that everybody will share the same opinion.

                                ********************

Sabi ng isang netizen: "Baka ang tingin na niya sa sarili ay si BARBIE siya?

At sinagot naman ng isa: He is still a KEN.

                               ********************

"Bago kayo maghate sa akin ... look what I have achieved ..." Ikaw pa talaga magisa-isa ng achievements mo? Too self-serving.

Sabi nga ng isang SUCCESSFUL na kaibigan ... you don't brag about your achievements. Nakikita yan ng tao. 

Let SUCCESS speak for itself.

                                 *******************

The image above has become ICONIC.  Ang waiter ay parang erring student na pinatawag sa principals office at winawarnigan.

Kulang na lang padipahin ang kamay sa harap ng masungit na head-teacher.

                                 ******************

And while we are at it ... hindi ba kayo nagtatanong kung bakit ginamit ni Maam na extension ng kanyang classroom ang isang restaurant?

At okey lang ba sa owner ng restaurant na gawing playground ni Maam ang kanyang negosyo? For sure nalugi siya nang araw na iyon.

Sino ba naman ganahan kumain eh may nakahandusay na guidance counsellor venting out his frustrations sa lalaki.

                                   *****************

It just doesn't feel right the owner and the supervisor of the restaurant ENABLING a vengeful friend. Imagine ginawa nang circus ang negosyo okey pa rin kay friend?

And what's this we read that some quarters are demanding a boycott of this place?

See the DOMINO EFFECT starts.

                                  *****************

Kailangan na ring manindigan ng owner. Wala ba siyang yagbols para malaman ang tama at mali?

In the sea ng masasakit na salita sa internet ni isang paliwanag o salita mula sa kanila ... wala?

Mas matimbang pa ba ang friendship ... o mag-unfriend  na sila dahil hinihila na ang negosyo sa kankongan.

                                 ******************

A STRAIGHT man being taunted by a G_Y man at this day and age?

Iba talaga ang magawa ng pera.  When money TALKS everyboody LISTENS!

                                 *******************

A lot of job offers are floating if the waiter decides to resign. Well-meaning unknowns who have bigger hearts are willing to extend their generosity  ... domestic man or abroad.

Yan ang tunay na diwa ng Kristiyanismo. Makonsiyensiya man sana ang mga taong hambog na marami nga silang na-achieve pero SALAT naman sa gandang asal.

                                 *******************

Kaladkaren take: "Sometimes I still get called SIR ... but I know how to choose my battles. When this happen ... I just smile ... be the bigger person and let it pass."

Yes it is okay to EDUCATE ... not HUMILIATE!

                                      ******************

Responding to Netizen's Comment

 

What a strong word that was. Was it really to EDUCATE ... or to PONTIFICATE?

My friend showed me what is trending now and she wants my unsolicited opinion about the situation. She even navigated to the source of trouble and even gave me images needed for whatever reaction I would make. Other netizens also egged on and encouraged me to do the same.

Before I start ... let me make it clear: hindi po kami nakikisawsaw ... at hindi po namin ito ginagawa to up our blog's popularity and traffic. We saw a situation here a fight between good and evil ... so basta kung sino ang underdog ... at sino ang inaapi doon tayo. ... So this is our CAUSE today.

When someone crosses the line and humiliates someone, just because they were misgendered ... and goes to the extent of calling the supervisor ... threatening to call the owner of the restaurant ... or making someone stand for hours and educate him with a topic too alien-sounding for him to comprehend ... that is a grandiose display of exaggerated self-importance at its finest. The guy has ENTITLEMENTS ISSUES.

Having delusions of grandeur is having an extraordinary belief that one is famous, omnipotent, wealthy, successful, or otherwise ... very powerful. I am not saying that the guy has this but all indications point that he has a bloated self-image. Napaka ENTITLED naman niya. Sasabihin ba naman "ang ganda ganda ko naman para tawaging SIR ... dapat sa mga waiter na walang common sense matanggal sa trabaho."

At para pa syang naghahamon ng away sa mga netizens at pinangalandakan pa kung ano ang kanyang inabot sa kanyang buhay. Saying stuff like: "Ang naiinggit pikit ..." is infuriating and revolting. For one ... ano ba ang pakialam ng mga taong hindi naman nakakilala sa kanya sa kung among yaman at ano meron siya? In our book... the yardstick to call one successful is not through material possessions or your status in society ... it is how well you treat people ... hindi mapaghamak at hindi nananapak.

Based on how the guy looks in his close-up photos in other blogs ... I couldn't fault the waiter for calling him SIR ... I don't blame him at all. If I were the waiter serving the guy ... I would be more inclined to address him Sir than Ma'am.

The waiter is not an erring staff (that's what he calls him) ... he is not an erring waiter at all ... in the truest sense of the word. Just because he addresses him Sir gives anyone the green light to call him ERRANT? He calls him SIR because that's how he perceives the guy. It was an innocent, respectful, and honest mistake ... but TSWWTBCM (The Sir who wants to be called Ma'am) took that as an opportunity to start firing ammunition and educate the poor guy with gender sensitivity mumbo-jumbo. How? ... by making him stand in front of him unmindful of the negative reactions from onlookers and other customers. TSWWTBCM wanted to show the whole world that he was powerful and had connections.

He used scare tactics ... and name-dropping the owner of the restaurant is one of them. Hearing that for sure sends shivers down the waiter's spine. No wonder the waiter stood there for hours like a puppet to his master because he dreaded he might lose his job and if push came to shove ... there is a chance he will be out in the street. I believe even the true-blue members of LGBT will not support TSWWTBCM on this one.

And there is still another issue ... he claimed he was a friend of the owner. Did he really believe even for one second that the owner would side with him even though everyone knows who is the abuser and who is the victim? And did he realize how costly this furor brings to the restaurant and his friend?

TSWWTBCM wants to fight discrimination and encourage gender sensitivity ... how about being sensitive to the kid who fears he will be trooping the streets again in search of a job? How about having a heart for thinking what will happen to this kid if the owner plays in cahoots with him and his caprices and fires him without warning?

Was calling him SIR that heinous and wicked offense that
commensurate to that kind of humiliation and degradation?

TSWWTBCM said it all "I am used to being misgendered" ... my students call me SIR and my nephews and nieces call me uncle ... so what's the problem then eh ganoon naman pala ang tawag sa iyo. Ano ang pagkaiba ng SIR galing sa mga estudyante mo ... at ang SIR galing sa waiter? And what is the big deal? What makes it different this time that gets your ire? There are just a lot of inconsistencies and loopholes in the script.

Ah, I know now. He blows his horns that's why ... and he created a scene. And now in the court of public opinion, it looked like the prospect that his sorority sisters backing him up looks grim and dim. And he dares to recommend gender sensitivity be included when hiring employees? That's a tall order, SIR. We are not hate-mongers by the way (the term you describe the person who started this whole brouhaha)... I am one of those persons who speak my mind out and who call a spade ... a spade when I see one.

Wait ... there is a solution to your problem ... I know I can think of one for you. Every time you go shopping or enter a restaurant don't forget a big nametag hanging on your neck ... one that reads: "Maam po ako."

Netizen's Reaction

We have been discussing malapropism sporadically. And there was one alert reader who was hell-bent on fine-tuning himself and he was trying his damn best not to fall into this category of people who make mistakes of using wrong words in place of the target words. 

He told us that one way of avoiding falling prey to this parang "mali-mali syndrome"  a Filipino culture-bound syndrome characterized by thought, motor behavior, and speech disturbance is knowing ourselves and identifying the words wrongly used.

He admits he wants to be known as somebody "humorous" but not of this kind of variety where everyone laughs because you made a fool of yourself using the incorrect words na parang yong ale sa palengke na mali-mali.

So he asked: How do you identify malapropism?

One way of identifying malapropism is realizing that a word or phrase is being used in the wrong context. If a word or remark is quoted out of context it means the circumstances in which it was said were not correctly reported ... meaning that it seems to mean something different from the meaning it was intended.  

If the word sounds awkward or "offish" ... there goes your cue. Google it up ... and look it up ... if the word is right on Q or being used wrongly. If you feel it was the wrong word ... make some research and find the correct word.  That simple.

Malapropisms are best corrected through modeling rather than calling attention to the error directly as this allows the person to save face. 

Malapropism sometimes embarrasses somebody especially when a serious debate turns funny and silly and the speaker does not even realize it.

Another way of avoiding being the laughing stock or the object of ridicule is for us to expand our vocabulary.

Responding To Netizen's Reaction

 A netizen was reacting and she wanted to know the difference between IMPULSIVE and COMPULSIVE buying or spending.

Answer:

Compulsive buying is otherwise termed as ONIOMANIA shopping addiction or pathological buying. This happens when one has a strong ITCH or desire to purchase either for him or his family.  The urge is overwhelming and he can't just say NO.

How does COMPULSIVE differ from IMPULSIVE buying? Simple ... impulsive spending is a one-time thing a spur-of-the-moment decision to buy. Whereas compulsive spending is a series of rituals ... it is repeated and repetitive and has been going on for some time now.

Impulsive buying is SITUATIONAL while compulsive buying is HABITUAL.

Impulsive buying is EXTERNALLY MOTIVATED whereas compulsive buying is INTERNALLY DRIVEN by strong feelings and emotions... or negative events. Compulsive buying is the person's defense to cope with underlying mental conditions such as depression or stress.

Compulsive buying is CHRONIC and recurrent loss of self-control while impulsive spending is generally considered SPORADIC.

Netizens Reactions

I am reporting en toto the report in Manila Standard "Apo Whang-od causes a stir on-line after groping Piolo Pascual's private Part" written by Angelica Villanueva.  Thank you very much Ma'am:

"A video circulating online shows Filipino traditional mambabatok Apo Whang-od groping actor and producer Piolo Pascual’s private part has been making buzz online.

In a tweet posted on X, Piolo was seen visiting Whang-od in Buscalan. Seconds later, while talking, the tattoo artist approached her hand on his private part. Both of them bursted out laughing on what happened causing the other people surrounding them to laugh as well.

Apo Whang-od’s action drew mixed reactions from netizens—while some defended the tattoo artist, others had negative reactions.

“It becomes offensive when one party did not give permission, or was offended, or was uncomfy. Piolo did not say No, did not move away, and was laughing in good fun,” said one netizen.

“This shouldn’t be condoned. Alam ko malaki ang respeto natin kay Apo Whang Od at sa sining niya ng pagtatattoo. Pero dapat ba natin baliwalain itong ginagawa niya? Kung matandang lalake si Apo Whang Od, ano na lamang ang reaction ng mga tao?” a netizen pointed out.

“Mapababae man o mapalalake, just don’t sexualize other people and don’t touch them inappropriately,”echoed the other one.

“Guys nangdadakot talaga yang si Apo Whang Od! Bat gulat na gulat kayo?” explained another netizen.

Whang-od has been known for grabbing male’s private parts of those who visit her.

In 2019, Apo Whang-od also touched TV host and actor Paolo Ballesteros’ private part during his visit with fellow “Eat Bulaga” host Maine Mendoza."

Netizens Reaction

The netizens have mixed reactions to the viral comments of Dani Baretto on whether children should continue giving financial assistance to parents when they grow old. Here are some choice comments that are ironically contrasting but nevertheless express the whole gamut of emotions on whatever side they lean to:

Angelica Lachica - Sometimes the kind of giving back of children to parents depends on what kind of parent you are. Kung nagiging mabuting magulang ka... children are wholeheartedly giving back to you. Pero kung mabigat sa loob ng anak mo na balikan ka ... ask yourself kung nagiging mabuting magulang ka sa kanila?

Tess Porras - Maraming mga mabuting magulang na buong giting nilang tinataguyod ang mga pangangailangan ng mga anak nila.  They make their nights daytime para matustosan ang bawat needs nila.  Pero may mga anak talaga na sadyang walang utang na loob. Kuha lang ng kuha at hindi marunong magbigay. I agree hindi dapat ito obligatory ... but voluntary ... pero yong totally wala kang ibigay ... it speaks volumes kung anong klaseng anak ka.

Darel Dacules - For me, tama yes, dapat hindi sapilitan. But I will choose to help my parents.  Hindi ko sila matitiis. Kahit hindi nila ako irequire na tulungan sila ... tutulungan ko pa rin sila.

My Reaction: If "utang na loob" is one toxic culture ... there is another toxic Pinoy culture concerning children - the overstaying children who can't manage their lives - and depend largely on their parents for support.

As somebody who believes the American culture that children should be out of the house once they reach 18 so they can prepare for some arduous task ahead of their lives... I am one of those "rara avis" parents who don't expect anything from their children. Hindi dahil nagmamagaling ako ... common sense lang ...if they can't take care of their own family ... isang suntok sa buwan ang maghintay ng tulong sa kanila. Does that make sense?

If Dani Barreto believes that helping parents is voluntary and not obligatory ... I also believe that parents helping children is not all-encompassing ... dapat may expiration date ito... na pati sarili nila kalimutan nila alang-alang sa serbisyo. Would you believe na kaya may mga anak na hindi kaya tumayo sa kanilang sariling paa ... kahit matanda na sila ... dahil rin sa isang toxic culture na pinaniwalaan ni Dani na obligasyon ng parents ang suportahan ang kanilang mga anak till their dying day.  Yon bang sinasalo ang lahat ... kahit hindi na dapat.

I just hope na totoo nga itong sinasabi ni Dani. The 64 dollar question is ... will she change her perspective once she reach 70 ... na uugod-ugod na at kailangan niya ang tulong ng kanyang mga anak. If my suspect is true ... para na ring kinain niya ang ...  sariling SUKA niya.

Ang pagtulong sa magulang ay KUSANG LOOB ... at di kailan man ginagawa dahil sa UTANG NA LOOB.

Q and A

 

Question: Why can't people accept that they were wrong?

Answer: Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself, and your beliefs about your abilities and limitations. A person with low self-esteem has a fragile ego ... they are sometimes called defensive self-esteem.  Why defensive? It is all because they can be greatly affected by harmless comments and evaluations from others. They often take these commentaries as an attack on their abilities and capabilities.

Some of these people refuse to admit they are wrong ... they become "DEFENSIVE" to the point that they become too self-protective, and guarding, and their actions have overzealous overtones to shield themselves even in the face of enormous and overwhelming evidence.

Another reason why people can't accept they are wrong is ...  narcissism. Narcissists never accept blame because they literally never believe they're at fault. They feel entitled to do anything they want and believe they're perfect. Their brain is twisted and programmed ... so when something goes wrong with whatever they do ... someone or somebody else is at fault and should be responsible.

Or this can be the third reason ... making a blunder has a negative nuance and flavor. In their minds, accepting that you did something wrong is bad enough ... no one will like them if people think they are bad. That was what we were told by our parents when we were growing up as a child.

It’s about fear. Many people have so little self-confidence that being wrong just makes it harder for them to believe in themselves. They think people will judge them for what they did. 

If a person cannot cope psychologically with being wrong, they may attempt to deny facts to justify their actions or beliefs. 

When you see somebody wrestling with low self-esteem and his symptoms are vacillating from bad to worse ... there is always professional help available ... even online. Call them before it is too late.

Lessons From Kathniel's Break Up

 Question: What are the lessons we learned from Kathniel's separation?

Answer: Just like Kathryn we should learn to accept defeat when you sense ... there is a pattern of deceit. Sobra na ... tuldukan na. Raising the white flag or retreating is not a sign of weakness ... but rather taking time out from a stressful situation. Because you value yourself ... and you feel there is no use crying over spilled milk ...  letting go is the most generous way of helping yourself and standing up for what is right.

Of course ... you can either choose to FIGHT ... or FLIGHT ... your call. But when the situation is repeated over and over again ... the cycle of abuse will continue.

Accepting defeat in this case ... is the best way to gain a new vantage point or perspective ... and learn from our mistakes.

Unfortunately ... only the mighty can bear defeat. And when you succeed ...  you can always say heads up: "My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me."

How To Aceept Defeat ala Kathryn

 

Question: What did Kathryn Bernardo do that made her pass this separation test with flying colors?

Answer: I don't really know ... but I have these observations.

After several attempts to untie the knot (after similar repeated incidents of the alleged illicit affairs), Kathryn admitted defeat ... and cut through the 11 years of the relationship with a knife.

Accepting defeat is Kathryn's FIRST step ... learning from it is the obvious SECOND step. And I hope Kathryn can follow through and make her THIRD step - by applying the tough lessons she learned from the relationship going forward.

Remember we can't always win in life ... so it is a must that we always have a mind that thinks and sees that every loss is not a defeat. Yes, the pain will always be there ... but would rather be in a situation where you are in constant hurt because you allowed yourself to be sucked into a relationship that doesn't value your worth ... or a relationship that abuses you. Would you rather be in a relationship where the torture and the gnawing ache seemed FOREVER ... because you refused to LET GO and MOVED ON?

With a little self-trust, persistence, and dedication ... I know the pain will ease up a bit as Kathryn tries to heal up. It is a little comforting to know that she can learn more from her losses than wins ... so as Kathryn did, she looked at her decision to untie the knot more as OPPORTUNITIES rather than considering them BLEMISHES.

What Kathryn did was too basic ... some say too elementary. Here is what I thought was her way of accepting defeat ... but made her look like a WINNER.

1. She let go and moved on without hesitation

2. She had a change of heart ... and thought of putting herself first instead of wallowing in the what-ifs.

3. She tried to see things from different points of view and angles ... and discovered and developed a new mindset.

4. She is kind and generous. She is not the person who is rude or angry about losing. She is a "good sport".

5. She did not allow the break-up to eat her alive and consume her. We did not see her rant and throw invectives as an aggrieved party.

6. She definitely learned her lessons and put them wisely in positive use.

7. She vowed she would not repeat the same mistakes and that she would be changed for the better.

That simple.

Netizens Reacts

 -Reynante Llegas Lorenzo: Dapat talagang ibalik si Steve Harvey as host para laging naiitama ang mga mali.

-Ram Santos: Predicted talaga nila ang apat except Thailand sa Top 5 ... kung nagkamali? Unang una di naman kailangan magmadali kung meron na silang advance result send by their staff in the production venue.

-Mary Antonieta Neth:  Excuse na lang yan. If that is true you could have posted it right after the announcement. Your reason is unacceptable

-IMJ Francis Jolbitado: Pag nagkamali ... itama kaagad. gaya ni Steve Harvey..

-Aem Gacer: Ibig sabihin lang  iniexpect din nila na makapasok ang Philippines sa Top 5,  Ang host country na ang nagpakita ng kanilang hotpicks kaya lang somebody came para lagyan ng Magic Sarap. Kahit camera man gandang ganda kay MMD kaya focus sa kanya ang camera.

-Rick Inan: the damage has been done. Bagsak na ang trust ng mga tao sa Miss Universe dahil sa galit ng mga Pinoy. Mahirap ng ibalik ang tiwala.

-Cel S. Trong: Karma is digital whoever is behind the error.

-Jeannette Tusi: Simple error ... but with great impact.

-Rofe Mae: Had it been Steve Harvey he should have corrected this mishap. This sucks.

-Jake Jullanes Dayandante: Bakit ngayon lang sila nagexplain. What take them so long.

-Yan Ryan: Bakit ang cameraman nakasync din ba sa page ng Miss Universe El Salvador. Alam ng cameraman kung sino ang nasa Top 5 at kay MMD naka-focus.

-Jocelyn Villapando: Dear ... if this is a barangay pageant we will understand. MU is a big organization to use manual system. The actual results are transmitted and posted ahead in IG but was obviously manipulated.  There is no perfect crime.

Abraham C.: Whoever posted the results ... and whoever changed what was previously posted needs a slap on the wrist, a rebuke, and a reprimand. You have a responsibility to your readers.  You can't afford to make an error ... not only do you get calloused being a fake news peddler.

-Richard Paz: Lies covered with lies.

-Tom C. dela Cruz: Di sana noon inamin na ang pagkamali. Hindi nila alam ang gagawin dahil may pinagtakpan. Yung mali mas along ginagawang mali.

-Verena de los Reyes: That statement does not diminish or erase the loss of trust in MU pageant. El Salvador MU will go down in the history of pageantry as the venue and instrument of manipulation, dishonesty and injustice. Stop supporting until it goes into ownership and management by more credible people.

-Arnold Caquoia: Rush for 10 minutes ... ang tagal bago mapalitan. Nung inanounce lang bago mapalitan. Wag kami. We are not born yesterday!

-Jocelyn Villapando: How can you believe such mistakes in the digital age. Filipinos are the highest-paid voters. We were actually scammed.  Higher authorities must act on investigating MU further.

-

RR

Responding To Netizen's Comment

Question: I read your post on facing your fear yesterday and I wonder if there are techniques used in psychology or psychiatry where the person is exposed to his feared situation or objects (phobias) until fear responses to that stimulus is extinguished?

Answer: There are techniques used where a person is being given the chance to have gradual exposure to a feared stimulus. Although the post yesterday was meant to touch on minor fears only (e.g. fear of approaching the woman of your dreams, fear of going to her house and meeting her parents OR fear of public speaking which can happen to normal people ... just like fear of reciting inside the class or fear of sharing an opinion in public) not necessarily irrational fears bordering on the abnormal like phobias.

Anyway while we are at it ... let me mention these techniques in passing ...

1. exposure therapy - techniques used by therapists to help a person overcome his fears by breaking the pattern of fear and avoidance. A person is made to have contact with the feared stimuli and this contact is maintained until the anxiety associated with the contact subsides. This process is also termed habituation and it can only occur if the person is prevented from using his usual escape or avoidance behavior.

It is also called the Pavlovian extinction (also known as respondent conditioning) where the exposure therapists identify the feared object, the emotions, and the psychological reactions the person is experiencing ... and the physiological changes observed in the person as a result of the exposure ... and then try to break the pattern of escape that maintain that fear.

2. Systematic desensitization. First, let us define desensitization which means anesthetize, benumb, or deaden. It means to make someone emotionally insensitive and callous. For instance, if we see a lot of mayhem or violence on television it can desensitize us to it ... like violence is just a normal occurrence leaving us unmoved and unperturbed. Same thing with X-rated movies ... generous exposure to it at times can be tiring and monotonous ... making the images look like just one of those random things ... and the scenes you saw did not affect or appeal to you at all. Surprised?

The goal of desensitization is to inhibit or interrupt the body's interpretation of stimuli as painful or fearful. If somebody has a fear of injections it does not mean to assure somebody that getting poked with a needle will become pleasant or enjoyable, but it will no longer provoke an extreme pain response or become a feared stimulus.

In systematic desensitization, people learn relaxation techniques and then, while they are relaxed, they are gradually exposed to the stimulus they fear.SD is used to treat extreme aversions through a combination of graded exposure and relaxation. It is an evidence-based behavioral intervention that is focused on helping clients overcome common fears or phobias.

3. Flooding - in this technique, a person is exposed to a harmless stimulus until fear responses to that stimulus are extinguished.  In order to demonstrate the irrationality of the fear, a psychologist would put a person in a situation where they would face their phobia. Using psychologically-proven relaxation techniques, the subject attempts to replace their fear with relaxation. 

According to Pavlov, people can learn through associations, so if one has a phobia, it is because one associates the feared stimulus with a negative outcome (e.g. riding a plane  - and the plane crashing). The theory also teaches us that fear response has a short shelf-life and an expiry limit. Flooding uses actual exposure to the feared stimuli. If a person has acrophobia or fear of heights, by using flooding as a technique ... a person can be placed in an elevator or ride a plane.  Having irrational fear we expect a roller-coaster of reactions from her ... but rest assured she will calm down and be cool and collected later on ... when she realizes her fear of heights is unjustified and unnecessary. When she realizes her irrational fear of high places is not something to fear ... in the first place.

As we said before ... fear has a deadline or an expiratory date. Once the person has been gradually given a dose of exposure to the feared object ... it will dawn on her how foolish of her to behave that way.

Comparison

 Question: What is the difference between emotional maturity and emotional immaturity

Answer: One can usually see the glaring difference based on different dimensions

1. Ability to control their emotions - Emotionally mature people know how to respond to situations responsively while emotionally immature people act on impulse. Their response is foolhardy with a devil-may-care attitude.

2. Reactions - EM people approach the problem calmly ... examine the situation make a thorough analysis of what to do and think of the possible outcome when he has chosen their options.  EI people overreact to MINOR things and cannot contain their raging emotions.  After creating a scene, he regrets the blatant display of juvenile temper tantrums and thinks he could have handled the situation more lightly.

3. Criticism and Feedback - EM is open-minded to criticism. They are open to new ideas and suggestions and they are willing to change and can accept that they are wrong.  If EM is RECEPTIVE ... EI on the other hand is DECEPTIVE ... at times defensive and often feels they were attacked when there is a criticism ... as he sang the refrain of ... Me and Me Against The World.

4. Flexibility - EM can step outside of his comfort zone and is willing to see what is going on on the other side of the fence. They are friendly and welcoming to other points of view and mindset.  EI however is rigid, oftentimes UNBENDING ... and UNYIELDING. Individual differences to them are annoying.

5. Empathy - EM has the ability to place themselves in the psychological shoes of another person. They are able to understand and appreciate the feelings of another. EI can not empathize. More often than not they are stingy with compassion.  Something is lacking from them... so how can you expect them to share your grief?

6. Accountability - EM take responsibility for their actions. They own their work and doesn't make excuses if something goes wrong.  EI is a piece of work. If there is trouble, instead of being honest and confess what happened, they either keep mum ... or go into hiding.

7. Healthy Boundaries - When EM set healthy boundaries, they are forthright saying: "This is what I want ... and this is what I hate." Setting boundaries protects our personal space. Setting boundaries with EI can be exhausting and challenging. The first thing he will say to you is: "You hate me this much and you are setting boundaries?

8. Conflicts - EM usually works towards the resolution of the conflict. EI think time will heal the wound ... no matter how long.  He'd rather leave the conflict hanging ... and think the conflict and the ill feelings will pass.

9. Relationship - EM usually makes joint decisions and works together towards relationship goals. On the other end of the relationship with EI is like living a life on an eggshell. These individuals are not just mercurial, their moods are see-saw like.  They are volatile and fluctuating as they vacillate from one extreme to another in how they deal with others.  

So you never feel like you can relax around them—turmoil seems to always be either around the corner, a small incident, or one misspoken word away. You have to tread lightly, as if on eggshells, just to survive.