Abraham's One Liners

 

Permissive Parenting Under The Microscope

It is uncommon and out of the usual societal standard for a teenager below the age of reason to be found living alone fending for himself.  I can't imagine teenagers living in the streets surviving outside the confines of the home where there are parents who provide nurturing and guidance.

The question is why can't parents control their children? Why have they fallen into the trap where children exercise authority and children are the ones making the house rules instead of parents? And why have they become so spineless that when children demand that they will buy them luxurious items and they say NO children threaten them that they will leave home. 

We have to admit we have different kinds of parents ... and we have different kinds of parental styles and we are here today to scrutinize each one of them and place them under the radar screen.

Are parents becoming soft and permissive every day that they kowtow and cave in and pander to their children's wishes? Permissive parents are very loving, yet too weak to set limits or establish benchmark parameters and standards of acceptable behaviors at home. These parents act like their children's bosom buddies and are often seen more like their BFFs than parental figures.

Permissive parenting is unable to show authority nor oversee children's manners and habits.  So it is not surprising to see that their children are not cognizant of the thin line dividing what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. If a son demands an iPhone ... something the parent can't afford ... but manages to give him one anyway ... something is really wrong in the picture.

Permissive parenting is complaisant and lenient with their children.  They too are slack and remiss with their decisions and responsibilities, especially in setting a goal for them to achieve. Their children are goal-less... and their academic performance is in the doldrums. As expected their children are at the point of stagnation and do not show any semblance that their scholastic growth improves.

Permissive parents also fail miserably to be a household arbiters, much so as aberrant personality detectors and scanners. Why so? Because they don't have time to monitor their kids ... more so regulating them. Studies show children of non-restrictive and tolerant parenting often fall prey to resort to crimes, drug addiction, juvenile delinquency, alcohol abuse, teenage pregnancies, and the like.

If lax and soft parents can't regulate their children ... the children were left to regulate themselves, anything that feels right for them.  He doesn't have any iota of knowledge on how to differentiate right from wrong and he sticks with the wrong at the end of the day. Why don't they have self-control... it is all because they haven't been controlled since day 1. They lash out at parents especially when needs are thwarted. Their social skills are faulty ... and it is not unlikely ... they will display anti-social behaviors ... sooner than you think.

Raising the child correctly is a Herculean task and is a time-consuming job.  I have seen a lot of parents sticking their kids in daycare centers and nursery schools... why on earth would you want children and suddenly give them up to others to raise? Was it because you want to work ... or did you just have inadequate skills in parenting?

It is a two-pronged question ... but it is worth your while to ponder ... which one is closest to home.