One Liner

Hindi ko mapigilan ang tumawa sa news na ito: Ungka flyover in Iloilo being repaired.

What do you know: Hindi pa NATAPOS ang project ... pero INAAYOS na? 

Saan ka makakita ng ganoon ... aber? Only in the Philippines!

Hayop Sa Porma

May mga kandidato na gustong maging senador ... ang problema sa ilan ... wala silang PLATAPORMA.

Sayaw dito ... kanta doon ... kahit disintunado or parehong kaliwa ang paa ... hindi  sila maawat sa kanilang PORMA.

One Liner

Mga Momshie ... Inang at mga Nanay! Huwag ugaliing tsismis ang inyong libangan sa kalye.

Remember, kayo ang aming ILAW NG TAHANAN (house light) ... hindi STREET LIGHT (ilaw ng lansangan).

One Liners

In our work as bloggers ,,, we have two types of readers.  We can be hard-hitting at times and our audience uses their CRITICAL THINKING to analyze, interpret, evaluate, and make judgments about what they read or hear.

However, we also have readers who are unorthodox, dissident, and emotional types ... they can always go on a rampage and become CRITICAL ,,, and not THINKING at all.

Ang Ingay Ninyo!

People brag about their mansions, their success, and their businesses. Bakit sila ganoon?

Ako nga may "sariling mundo" wala akong ingay. Quiet lang ako.

I Am Singing In The Rain

Tuwing ako ay kakanta ... may mga kontrabida na nagtatanong "kung masakit daw yong ngipin ko" ... Yong iba naman kinakantyawan ako "at baka daw UULAN!

Ngayong Marso ... tumataas na naman ang heat index at sobra ang init.  Ngayon pa lang siguradohin kong hindi ako kakanta.

Sa sobrang pang-asar ninyo sa akin ... pawisan kayong magtiis. I will move heaven and earth ... walang ULAN na darating.

Political Short

There is an unseen force that delays the impeachment trial ni Inday Sara until a later date. Salamat Senator Chit Escudero. Ikaw pala yon?

Naka-ZIPPER ang bibig ng mga tao ... pero ang mga reaction shots nila ay may SUBTITLE! Yong reaction nila ... parang Chinese movies na kahit hindi mo maintiendihan ang dialogue ... ang mga gestures and expression nila ay nagmumura ... and their eyes do all the talking.

Ah ... if looks could kill ...

One Liner

 

One Liner

Kung hindi mo na talaga KAYA ang problema ... puwede ka naman MAGBITIW. Di po ba?

It does make perfect sense na anumang MABIGAT  na dinadala ay... GUMAGAAN kung ito ay binibitiwan.

One Liner

There is a myth na ang pampalinaw daw ng mata ay CARROTS at KALABASA.

Mali ... PERA pala ... Kita mo yong mga TRAPO ... bistado na ng mga mamayan ang ginagawa ... patuloy pa rin namamayagpag kahit anong eleksyon ang pagusapan.

Sabi Ko Na Nga Ba

 

One Liner

 

One Liner

Bago matapos ang taon ... kung ikaw ay lugmok at durog na durog ... balikan mo ang pangyayari at tanongin ang sarili:

-Sino ang mga taong TUMULONG sa iyo.

-Sino ang mga taong NAG-IWAN sa iyo.

-At the most important of all ... sino ang  tao ang NAGLAGAY sa iyo sa sitwasyong durog ka na ... nagiging lugmok ka pa!

From there ... BUMANGON ka ... and ... move on.

One Liner

Round fruits are enjoying brisk sales this New Year ... dahil ang mga Pinoy ay naniniwala na kung bumili ka niyan ... suswertihin ka.

Iba naman ang paniwala ko ...  ang suswertihin tiyak ay Pinoy rin ... pero hindi yong BUMILI ha ... kundi ang BINILHAN (yong mga food stalls po at mga tindera)

Napansin Mo Ba?

 

One Liners

 

One Liner

 

One Liners

I was thinking NAKAKAHIYA ... ang MANGUTANG.

How time flies ... mas NAKAKAHIYA pala ang MANINGIL.

Some Questions About Borrowing Money

Question: Anong mga saying or proverb ang alam mo about borrowing money?

Answer: "He who is QUICK to borrow ... is always SLOW to pay."

There is another one. "I hate it when people are HAPPY to borrow money from you ... and then get MAD when you want your money back.:

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Question: If someone has a habit of borrowing money ... is that a warning sign to you?

Answer: A warning sign is by itself a RED FLAG. Some people call it a WAKE-UP CALL.  It is a TIP-OFF that you need to be careful and on one's guard.  It is a HAND-WRITING ON THE WALL na kailangan mong i-consider na isang babala.

Minsan ka lang nabudol ... huwag mo itong gawing panata.

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Question: How necessary it would be to pay back borrowed money?

Answer: Paying the money you borrowed on time shows what kind of person you are. It gives a positive picture of you and builds a responsible reputation of your name. The lender or the financial institution sees... that you can be trusted.

Trust when BROKEN ... can never be MENDED. 

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Question: Is it alright to say NO when someone borrows money?

Answer: YES ,,, who doesn't need money anyway? Be sure not to offer any explanation as to why you can't lend.

Ang isang mangungutang worth his salt can bend your explanations to his advantage, making you pick that hard-earned money at ipautang sa kanya.

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Question: What are some tips for lending money?

Answer: Huwag kang magpautang sa hindi mo pa kilala. If you know that the person doesn't have work ... or doesn't have any resources ... these are red flags for you to consider. 

Madali MAGPAUTANG ... pero hindi madali ang MAGBAYAD ng utang.

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Question: What have your parents taught you about borrowing money?

Answer: Mabuti pang MATULOG na gutom ... kaysa MAGISING kang hinahabol ng naniningil.

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Question: Who is irresponsible ... the lender or the borrower?

Answer: Both.  Isa kang IRRESPONSIBLE LENDER ... if you let someone borrow your money ... when you know for a fact na hindi siya makabayad.

Isa kang IRRESPONSIBLE BORROWER ... kung walang hiya kang nangungutang ... kahit right on the get-go wala kang panong magbayad.

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Question: Can you go to jail if you fail to pay what you borrowed?

Answer: Hindi naman ako abogado ... but as far as I know ... ang hindi pagbayad ng utang doesn't necessarily mean na ang police will issue arrest warrants. Ang pagkaroon mo ng utang is more CIVIL and not CRIMINAL in essence.

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Question: Can you bring a suit to someone who has not paid you your money?

Answer: I think so. I often heard people saying "walang NAKUKULONG dahil sa utang." That is true. Pero puede kang IHABLA in a civil case para makolekta ang pera na inutang mo.

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Question: If someone borrows money ... at hindi nagbabayad ... ginagamit ka lang niya?

Answer: Tinatanong pa ba yan? Gusto mo nang AWARD ... or gusto mo UMBAG?

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Question: Do you have any bad experiences with lending money?

Answer:  Just recently buong giting at tapang kong NAG-TULONG para sa isang pamilya ... pinahiram ko ng pera only to realize hindi ko pa pala nabili ang gamot ko. May NAITULONG ba ang pagiging good provider ko?

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Question: What lessons have you learned about lending your money?

Answer: Ang hindi marunong LUMINGON ... sa pinagutangan ... ay hindi na MAKABALIK at MAKAULIT ... kailanman!

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Some Reminders About Appreciation ... That Can Make Your Nose Bleed

Some wake-up calls and eye-openers for people who don't value the sacrifices being given to them.

-Some people will not understand the sacrifices you are making for them until you stop making them. Stay away from people where you are not appreciated.

-Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them.  You have to figure out who is worth your kindness and who is taking advantage.

-That person you are making a sacrifice with ... will one day come back and tell you ... "I didn't ask you to do these sacrifices for me ..."

-Stop chasing for the people who don't understand the sacrifices you have to make ... to get you where in your life right now.

-Don't sacrifice anything ... especially to people who will not do the same for you.

-Things change ... and people change. So never sacrifice who you are for anyone.