Blind Fanaticism 101

 

Are you tired of the exhausting burden of critical thinking? Does your brain hurt whenever you try to look at "both sides of the coin"? 

Do you find that pesky thing called "objectivity" gets in the way of your favorite politician’s social media aesthetic?

Well, it looks like you made it.  You are about to graduate from the boring school of being a rational citizen, and with just a little make-over, you are about to join the cult, the glorious order of Blind Devotees. 

 If you want to maintain your status as a top-tier fan who would defend their political idol even if they were caught setting fire to the national treasury, follow this simple guide.

1. Putting Them In The Pedestal

• The Rational Mistake: Treating a politician like a public servant. Let them go around like ordinary mortals.

• The Fanatic Way: Your idol is not a public servant; they are a deity in a blazer or barong Tagalog. Do not put them on a pedestal—that’s not high enough. Mount them on a golden throne in the sky, well above the reach of laws, facts, and standard human decency. If they are walking on the ground, they might get dirt on their shoes. We don't like that.

2. The "Praise/Criticize."

• The Rational Mistake: Praising the good, criticizing the bad. “I like their healthcare policy, but I’m concerned about the corruption charges.”

• The Fanatic Way: This is "heresy." If the idol does something good, you must worship it as a miracle. If the idol does something bad (like, say, stealing billions or lying to the nation), you must reframe it as "strategic genius."

  • Example: If they steal, they are simply "redistributing the blessings." If they lie, they are "managing the public’s perception for national security." Criticism is for people who hate the country.

3. The "Two Sides of the Coin"

• The Rational Mistake: Looking at both sides of the coin to understand the whole picture.

• The Fanatic Way: Why look at the other side of the coin when your side has the idol’s face on it? The other side is just "Fake News," "Destabilization," or "The Work of the Opposition." Coins were meant to be flipped, not analyzed. If you ever find yourself thinking, "Hey, maybe the critics have a point," quickly refresh your feed until you find a meme that confirms your bias and resets your brain to factory settings.

4. Public Servant vs. Public Master

• The Rational Mistake: Believing the phrase "Public Servant."

• The Fanatic Way: This is clearly just a polite euphemism from the colonial era. They are our masters; we are the interns. Our job is to defend them, ignore their flaws, and fight their battles on Twitter. If they demand tax money, we pay. If they demand silence, we will be quiet. If they demand we hate our neighbors for disagreeing with them, we sharpen our pitchforks.

5. The Golden Rule of Blind Loyalty

Never, ever let the facts win. If you are presented with evidence—a signed document, a video, a bank record—ignore the content and focus entirely on the intent of the person showing it to you.

• Did they show a record of theft? How dare they attack the idol!

• Did they ask a question? Disrespectful!

• Did they suggest the idol should be accountable? Treason!

Remember, being a rational supporter requires effort, nuance, and the courage to admit when you’re wrong. That sounds exhausting. 

Being a blind fanatic is easy! All you have to do is turn off your brain, protect your favorite surname at all costs, and pretend that the "Public Servant" you voted for is actually an infallible superhero who is never, ever wrong.

If you find yourself accidentally using logic, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and repeat after me: "My idol is perfect, the facts are fake, and critical thinking is a liberal conspiracy."

Finally The Response

Who is Paolo Panelo, by the way?

Atty Salvador Paolo Panelo is the son of former Presidential spokesperson and Chief Presidential Legal Counsel Salvador Sal Panelo. He specializes in litigation and corporate law.

With him in the driver's seat, his response to why the VP refused to attend the hearing was peppered with highfalutin terms, such as political lynching, fishing expedition, kangaroo court, scoundrel, as if bombarding us with these pompous and elaborate words will make us wonder ... if he uses fancy and pretentious terminologies, it must be the gospel truth.

In fact, the overflowing and ostentatious display of intricate words to add nuance to convey an intellectual flair is cringy ... whatever pogi points he made, and his propensity in rhetoric did not compensate for the minimal charm he intended to increase the attractiveness or the lack thereof of his arguments.

To Paolo Panelo, his school of creative accounting and legal deflection, the truth is merely a suggestion, and a bank account is just a "vibe" that you shouldn't take too seriously.

It was only yesterday when Attorney Paolo Panelo finally addressed the public with his assessment of the House impeachment hearings. 

He calls it a "Shameless Fishing Expedition." And honestly? He’s right. 

The House is fishing. And they aren't just catching little fish—they’re hauling in massive, glistening, multi-million-peso sharks. 

But according to the OVP’s legal team, catching sharks is "political lynching," which means the unsubstantiated, public character assassination or persecution of a political figure, aimed at destroying their reputation or career without due process.

Panelo’s defense of the Vice President’s financial records is a a state of the art in what we can only call Quantum Finance

His argument: If you have a ₱2-million time deposit, and you renew it repeatedly, the bank records might look like you have a massive fortune because of the total transaction volume.

This is brilliant! It’s the "Magic Pocket" defense.

• Imagine having 100 pesos. You put it in your left pocket. That’s 100.

• You move it to your right pocket. That’s another 100.

• You move it back. That’s 100 more.

• Ta-da! You are now a millionaire because you have 300 pesos worth of "transaction history."

By Panelo’s logic, the AMLC is just confused by the VP’s unparalleled financial agility. 

It’s not "unexplained wealth"; it’s just the same 2 million pesos doing a very fast cardio workout.

Attorney Panelo was also furious that the hearings were a "Kangaroo Court." 

What does he call the VP then, when, in another acute episode of mood swings, she will not attend the kangaroo court - a jill, which is a female kangaroo?

It’s an evocative term. It implies that the proceedings are a farce, a circus, and that the judges are just hopping around making kangaroo noises.

And naturally, the only dignified response to a "Kangaroo Court" is to… stay away and make the seat reserved for the VP - empty.

It’s a classic strategy:

• The Court: "Madam Vice President, please explain these suspicious transactions."

• The OVP Lawyer: "This is a Kangaroo Court! We refuse to participate in such absurdity!"

• The Public: "So, what about the money?"

• The OVP Lawyer: "Did you hear me? KANGAROOS! Focus on the kangaroos, not the bank accounts!"

Then there's Antonio Trillanes, the nemesis of the family. The legal team’s strategy is simple: If you can't beat the evidence, call the witness annoying.

Panelo argues that Trillanes relies on "second-hand information." 

In the world of high-stakes law, this is the final resort. 

It’s like being caught in the kitchen with your hand in the cookie jar and shouting, "You only saw me with my hand in the jar because my sister told you to look! 

Her testimony is hearsay! I refuse to be judged by someone who believes in cookies!"

The OVP’s defense is essentially asking us to believe that the Anti-Money Laundering Council (AMLC)—the institution designed to track billions—doesn't know how to read a simple bank statement. 

They are asking us to believe that transaction volumes are just "optical illusions" and that any question about the money is a "lynching."

But here is the irony: A "fishing expedition" only works if there is no fish in the water. 

If you go fishing in a pond and pull out a 200-pound tuna, you don't call it a "fishing expedition"—you call it evidence.

When your lawyer starts explaining that money isn't actually money, but rather a "transactional representation of energetic deposits," you aren't being defended. You're being gaslit by a CPA.