The Sunday's Sermon Moved Me

 

Moving sermons and homilies affect me

Priests study homiletics to bridge sacred scripture with everyday reality. By utilizing vivid imagery, rhythm, and storytelling, they craft sermons that bypass my intellect to strike directly at my emotions and conscience.

When I step away from the church, a natural gap forms between my CONSCIOUS and the UNCONSCIOUS moral programming I grew up with.

Moving sermons force me to confront this disconnect, which can cause intense emotional turmoil, questioning, and nighttime anxiety.

That's what happened at today's mass. The priest only told us TO COUNT OUR BLESSINGS and then proceeded to four individual questions, which he challenged the children in a standing room only crowd of Sunday worshippers.

He started with "Attention, members of Generation Z and the newly minting Alpha workforce! "

"It is time to pause the 15-second vertical video feeds. Unplug your glowing vaporizers and step away from the late-night club dancefloors for an urgent, comprehensive reality check."

An existential review of today’s youth reveals an absolute, logic-defying masterclass in self-sabotage. It seems the modern young adult has looked at a beautifully stable, fully blessed life and thought, "Nice, but can we make it chaotic and stressful?"

Let’s break down the four most spectacular ways today's youth are turning their blessings into a pile of aesthetic rubble.

1. The priest started: "Are you not aware that your FAMILY is the envy of any FRACTURED and FRAGMENTED household? Of BROKEN HOMES?"

There is an old saying that a peaceful home is a happy home. Apparently, today's youth missed that memo.

They have taken beautiful, cohesive families and treated them like contestants on a reality TV survival show, planting enmities and causing friction for reasons that can only be described as "clout-adjacent."

[ THE FRACTURED HOME EQUATION ]

* THE BLESSING: A supportive, unified household that is the absolute envy of any fractured and fragmented family in the world.

* THE YOUTH'S: "Yes, but my parents didn't validate my opinion today, so I am going to start a civil war in the family group chat."

The question is .... Why break a household that works? Why do you want to make the members of your family fight? Why are you so into intrigues? When you actively destroy the familial safety net, you aren't being foolish; you are just alienating the only people who will answer your phone call at 3:00 AM.

2. The priest lobbed the next question: "Are you unaware that your HOUSE is a fantasy of your neighbors or any VAGRANTS and the HOMELESS?"

The housing market is a global crisis, and vagrants and the homeless are wishing upon stars just to have a solid roof over their heads.

Enter the modern youth, who looks at a fully paid, structurally sound family home and sees an inconvenient obstacle between them and immediate cash.

-The Modern Financial Blueprint: Step 1: Force the family to sell or rent out the house. Step 2: Acquire the lump-sum cash. Step 3: Error 404: Housing Not Found.

What's with this madness? Dahil kasilangan mo lang ang pera, ibenta mo na ang bahay na ibinigay lang sa iyo?

Where exactly are you planning to live, dahil pinarentahan or ienenta mo ang bahay? Or ayaw mong i-maintain at linisin ito? Are you planning to build a fortress out of cardboard boxes in the club parking lot?

Selling the permanent roof over your head to finance a temporary lifestyle is a financial strategy that would make a bankruptcy lawyer weep.

3. The priest moved on to the next question. "Are you unaware that your being in pink of HEALTH is on the wishlist of every SICK and INFIRMED? "Yung mga nasa hospital want a new lease of life… tapos ikaw, may plan ka pa na ibenta ang kidney or mata mo?

To the sick and the infirm lying in hospital beds, basic, roaring health is the ultimate, unattainable fantasy.

To the modern youth, health is just an annoying video game stat bar that needs to be drained as quickly as possible.

-The Divine Wishlist - "Please let me wake up without pain and have a clear, functional mind."

-The Nightlife Routine - "Let's combine zero sleep, smoking, heavy liquor, experimental vape flavors, and continuous nightlife."

Indulging in vices until you are mentally abnormal isn’t a personality trait. Your Lungs, liver, and your sleep cycle are running a joint protest, and they are about to file for total institutional bankruptcy.

4. Then he opened the last remaining bomb of a question."And most of all, have you realized that your WORK is the jealousy of the JOBLESS and the UNEMPLOYED ... and those who were LAID OFF?

So why the immediate resignation just because you have a tiff with the manager? Why the constant absenteeism and the habitual truancy? Hingi ka lang ng hingi ng pera ... is that what you want? O matutulog ka na lang nang buong mag-araw? Kahit sinong family member niyan talagang magreklamo at aayaw sa iyo!

In an economy riddled with layoffs, restructuring, and millions of unemployed citizens fighting for a single entry-level vacancy, having a steady job is a massive luxury.

Yet, today's youth have turned job resignation into a hobby. They will invent a magnificent, complex web of rationalizations—citing "I want career growth" or "the job is not for me"—just to avoid showing up on Monday.

Let's ask a very sober, lowkey question: Do you honestly believe your parents are going to continue supporting this lifestyle of pure negativity and aesthetic unemployment? The bank of Mom and Dad is experiencing high inflation, and your credit score there is rapidly approaching zero.

-The Ultimate Inventory Checklist: Before you send your next "I'm entering my villain era" text ... take out a piece of paper and count your blessings.

Your Family: A shield against the world—stop treating them like the opposition.

Your House: A sanctuary—stop trying to turn it into a rental listing or for sale alerts.

Your Health: A masterpiece of biology—stop treating it like a garbage disposal.

Your Work: A financial lifeline—stop throwing it away for internet points.

The world does not owe you a continuous stream of entertainment, and your parents are not an endless municipal fund designed to sponsor your nightlife and your existential crises.

Be grateful for what you have. Look at the reality of the world around you, notice how incredibly blessed you are to have a home, a job, a family, and a healthy body, and thank God you have a foundation to stand on.

It is time to drop the ENTITLEMENT, put down the luggage of manufactured drama, and start protecting the blessings you were given before the universe decides to pass them to someone who will actually appreciate them.

The priest ended his sermon with: "Be GRATEFUL with what you have ... and thank God you were BLESSED!

Some Father's Day Musings

 

Happy Father’s Day to the most peaceful, most invisible, and most frequently corrected demographic in the modern family ecosystem: The Filipino Dad.

We aren't talking about the loud, authoritarian fathers of the 1990s who could clear a room just by clearing their throat.

No, today we honor the New Era Dad—the man who is incredibly kind, entirely patient, provider of the household fund, and a man who has officially lost his vocal privileges inside his own home.

He is the man who used to be the supreme commander of the living room, but has now been demoted to a piece of furniture his children walk past on their way to grab the Wi-Fi password.

This is the Great Generational Role-Reversal of all time.
There was a time when a father's main job was to impart ancestral wisdom—teaching his children how to ride a bicycle, how to save their allowance, or how to navigate life with basic manners.

In 2026, that transaction will have been completely flipped upside down.

The father is no longer the teacher; he is the student who is constantly being sent to the principal's office by his own teenagers.

[ THE LIVING ROOM REPRIMAND MATRIX ]

* Dad’s Attempt to Teach: "You know, back in my day, when we encountered a problem..."

* The Gen-Z/Gen-Alpha Interruption: "Dad, that’s literally a microaggression. Also, your posture is terrible, and please stop using emojis like a boomer. It's cringe."

* The Result: Dad quietly sips his coffee and apologizes to his 14-year-old manager.

The modern father doesn't get to scold anymore. If he tries to give a lecture on financial discipline because the delivery rider arrived for the fourth time this week, he is immediately hit with a 20-minute lecture on "boundaries," "emotional space," and why his tone is "disruptive to the peace of the household."

The comedy of the modern dad is that his contribution to the house operates exactly like the municipal sewage system: nobody appreciates it until it stops working.

He is the silent financial engine. He funds the tuition fees, pays the electricity bills that keep the air-conditioning running for their 24-hour gaming sessions, and covers the high-speed fiber internet subscription that his children use to look up videos explaining why their father's generation ruined the planet.

-What Dad Actually Provides VS How The Kids View It 1
-Food on the table, a roof over their heads, and structural security.
VS -"An organic extension of the house that automatically approves the Netflix renewal."

-What Dad Actually Provides VS How The Kids View It 2
-Decades of hard work, sleepless nights, and unconditional love. VS
-"A person who is currently sitting in the good chair and blocking the view of the smart TV."

-The "Pass-Through" Phenomenon: To his adult children, Dad has achieved the spiritual status of a hallway mirror. They walk past him, glance at themselves to check their hair, and keep walking without ever acknowledging the entity holding up the wall.

If you want to find the true symbol of a father’s demotion, look no further than the television remote control.

Historically, the remote control was the King's scepter. Whosoever held the remote ruled the kingdom.

Today, Dad sits on the edge of the sofa, watching a documentary about World War II at 15% volume with subtitles enabled, because his children complained that the sound of a tank engine was interrupting their TikTok recording session in the next room.

[ THE FATHER’S DAY COGNITIVE ADJUSTMENT ]

* Old Goal: To be respected, feared, and followed as the leader of the pack.

* Modern Goal: To successfully watch the evening news without being told that his political opinions are structurally problematic.

So, to all the fathers out there who are currently being scolded by a child whose phone bill you still pay: We see you. We remember you.

You might have lost your voice in the dining room, and you might be the person they only talk to when the car needs gas or the tuition portal is asking for a credit card, but your value isn’t measured by how many times your kids let you speak.

It’s measured by the absolute, unyielding resilience of your quiet love.

This Father’s Day, if your children actually remember to greet you between their social media posts, accept the greeting with pride.

And if they try to correct your grammar while saying "Happy Father's Day," just nod, smile, and remember: they might have the microphone now, but you’re still the one paying for the sound system.

A father's love doesn't need a loud voice to be real.

Sometimes, the greatest hero in the house is the man who stays quiet just to let his children think they’ve won the argument.

Happy Father's Day to the silent anchors of the family!

I Understand The Pain Of Rene Baterbonia's Parents

 To all the children of the world, from the quiet suburbs of America to the busy streets of Manila: we need to talk about the "No."

You know the one. It’s that annoying, high-pitched, or sternly quiet word that your mother or father says when you ask to go to basketball practice, a sleepover, or a late-night training session. 

You think it’s a cage. You think it’s "unfair." You think they are just trying to ruin your social life or kill your dreams of becoming the next PBA or NBA star.

But after the tragedy at Ateneo, the curtain has been pulled back, and the satire of our "freedom" has been exposed for what it really is: a fragile thread held by a terrified parent.

Parents have a very specific, almost annoying superpower: they can see tragedies that haven't happened yet. 

While you are seeing the "perfect three-point shot" or the "glory of the team," your mother is looking at the door and seeing a giant, invisible "What If."

[ THE PARENTAL TRANSLATION DICTIONARY ] 

* Your Request: "Mom, it’s just training! It’s for my future!" 

* Her Brain: "The world is an unpredictable place. There are invisible dangers, sudden accidents, and 'once-in-a-lifetime' tragedies." 

* The Result: "No. Stay home. Eat your dinner."

We laugh at them for being "OA" (Over-Acting). We roll our eyes when they ask for a "Live Location" share on WhatsApp. But the tragedy shows us the one thing no parent can ever live with: The "If Only."

If we could give every grieving parent a time machine, they wouldn't go back to buy Bitcoin or see the pyramids. They would go back to that one specific Tuesday afternoon.

They would stand in the doorway, block the exit, and start a legendary, world-class argument. 

They would gladly let you hate them for a week, a month, or a year. They would endure your "You're ruining my life!" screams with a smile, because in that timeline, you are still there to scream at them.

There is a strange math in the world of adults. A parent would rather work three jobs, lose their house, and eat nothing but instant noodles for the rest of their lives than spend one minute looking at a white casket.

[ THE PARENTAL EXCHANGE RATE ] 

* 1,000 Hours of Hard Labor = Acceptable. 

* 10 Years of Poverty = Manageable. 

* Losing a Child = The End of the Universe.

When they are "strict," they aren't being your warden; they are being your bodyguard against a world that doesn't care as much about you as they do. 

They aren't trying to stop your training; they are trying to ensure you have a "tomorrow" to actually play in.

So, the next time your mom says, "Huwag ka nang pumunta," (Don't go anymore), or your dad says, "Gabi na, bukas na lang," (It's late, just do it tomorrow), don't look at it as a loss.

Look at the "No" as a shield. 

Look at the strictness as a love language that is too scared to speak plainly. 

They aren't trying to kill your fun; they are trying to keep you alive so they don't have to live in a world where the only thing left of you is a jersey and a memory.

Listen to the fear in their voice. It’s not there to hold you back; it’s there to hold you together. 

A missed training session is a disappointment; a missed lifetime is a tragedy that no "I’m sorry" can ever fix.

Go give them a hug. They’re probably just glad you’re still in the house to annoy them.

Raising A Child Who Steals

 

Ah, the modern parenting dilemma!

It’s a classic tale: you raise a child, and somewhere along the line, they decide that reality is merely a "suggestion" and other people’s property is just "unclaimed inventory."

If you’re wondering how to handle a child who steals so well they’ve convinced themselves of their own alternate universe, or who treats shoplifting like a career path, here is a satirical guide to "Parenting the Future King of the Underworld."

1. Embrace the "Alternative Facts" Lifestyle

If your child steals even when the evidence is literally stuck to their face, don’t be a buzzkill.

Clearly, they aren't "stealing"—they are Performance Artists.

The Strategy: When you catch them with the missing jewelry, and they swear they found it in a dream, congratulate them on their commitment to the bit.

The Logic: Why settle for the boring truth when your child is talented enough to live in a permanent state of gaslighting?

If they don’t know they’re lying anymore, they’ve simply achieved a higher state of consciousness where facts are optional.

2. Treat Theft as an "Unpaid Internship.
"
If your child treats stealing as their "bread and butter," stop thinking of it as a crime.

People will bash me for this ... but hey, guys, this is a satire ... so we have to exaggerate, and it is up to you if you get the message or not.

Think of it as aggressive wealth redistribution.

The Professional Approach: Instead of a lecture, ask for a spreadsheet of their weekly "earnings."

If they’re going to make it their career, they should at least track their margins.

The Perk: You’ll save a fortune on Christmas presents, assuming they "find" enough items for the whole family.

3. The "Wait for the Police Sirens" Method

Why bother with discipline now when the government provides free room and board later?

Some parents feel the need to intervene, but isn't that just... extra work?

The Plan: Just sit back, relax, and wait for the flashing blue and red lights.

It’s like a surprise party, but with handcuffs!

The Benefit: Think of the peace and quiet you'll have while they’re doing a state-sponsored "sabbatical."

4. Why Regret Early When You Can Regret Late?

We all know that pagsisisi (regret) always comes at the end of the story.

Indeed, it only counts if it happens in the final act of a dramatic movie.

Why have a productive conversation at age 15 when you can have a tearful, slow-motion reunion in a prison visiting room at age 25?

The Philosophy: Realizing your mistakes early is so mainstream.

It’s much more poetic to wait for the absolute extreme before acknowledging that, perhaps, stealing a car was a bad life choice.

The Reality Check

Of course, if we step out of the satire for a moment, waiting for the police to do the parenting is like waiting for a house fire to do the cleaning.

It’s effective, but you won’t have a house left

Jackie Chan's Charity Chop: A Kung Fu Masterclass in Tough Love (or Just Plain Crazy?)

So, Jackie Chan, the man who's punched, kicked, and flipped his way into our hearts (and wallets), has decided to donate his entire fortune to charity rather than leave it to his son, Jaycee.

Apparently, he believes in the old "teach a man to fish" adage, except in this case, the fish is a multi-million dollar Hollywood blockbuster and the man is a celebrity offspring who's probably never had to bait a hook in his life.

Now, the internet is ablaze with opinions.

Is Jackie Chan a wise and benevolent sage, teaching his son the value of hard work and self-reliance?

Or is he a heartless, Scrooge McDuck-esque miser, denying his own flesh and blood the fruits of his cinematic labor?
Let's be honest, there's no easy answer.
On the one hand, you gotta admire the guy's commitment to principle.

He rose from humble beginnings, clawed his way to the top, and believes that everyone should earn their own way.

It's a classic rags-to-riches story, and he wants his son to experience the same character-building struggle.

On the other hand, is it really necessary to make your son start from zero when you have a mountain of cash just sitting there?

I mean, sure, inherited wealth can be a curse, but it can also be a springboard. Why not give Jaycee a little boost, a safety net, a… Chan-ce to succeed?
And let's not forget the optics. Jackie Chan is a global icon, a symbol of success and generosity.

But is he really being generous if he's giving away his son's inheritance?
Is it really philanthropy if it's coming at the expense of his own family?

The whole thing smacks of a reality TV show waiting to happen. "Chan Dynasty: The Charity Challenge."

Imagine the drama! Jaycee Chan, forced to compete against other aspiring entrepreneurs for a piece of his father's fortune, all while being judged by a panel of celebrity philanthropists.
Ratings gold, I tell you!

But seriously, the question this raises is bigger than one family.

Should wealthy parents prioritize philanthropy over generational wealth?

Does leaving everything to charity teach independence, or does it deny family legacy? Is it responsibility or harshness?

The answer, of course, depends on your perspective.

If you're a self-made millionaire who believes in the power of hard work, you're probably applauding Jackie Chan's decision.

If you're a trust fund baby who's never had to work a day in your life, you're probably shaking your head in disbelief.

And if you're Jaycee Chan, you're probably somewhere in between, wondering if you should start practicing your kung fu moves or start writing a tell-all memoir.

But whatever your opinion, one thing is clear: Jackie Chan has sparked a conversation.

He's forced us to confront our own beliefs about wealth, inheritance, and the responsibility of parents.
And that, in itself, is a valuable contribution.

So, is Jackie Chan right? Is he wrong? Is he a genius? Is he a madman?

The answer, my friends, is blowing in the wind. Or maybe it's hidden in a fortune cookie. Or maybe it's just a matter of personal opinion.

But whatever the truth, one thing is certain: Jackie Chan is never boring.

And that's why we love him. Even if we don't always agree with him.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go practice my Snake or Crane Shaolin Kungfu.

I have a feeling I'm going to need it when my kids find out I'm donating all their inheritance to a monkey sanctuary.

No One Is Around

Bakit parang hindi na tayo makaraos sa hirap ng buhay?

Ang problema kasi ipinanganak tayong naghihikahos. Gusto man itago ng ating parents ang kanilang mga karanasan pati na ang kanilang mga masakit na hamon at dagok ng buhay ... pero nakita pa rin natin ito first hand and it was served to us in full color and in Cine Vision pa man din.

Sad to say ... sa ating murang kamalayan ... kahit hindi natin maintiendihan yon ... ang first thing na natunan natin sa kanila is mainly survival at kahirapan ... at yong kanilang araw- araw na pagpupunyagi.

Walang silang panahon sa atin ... hindi dahil gusto nila ito . Priority lang kasi nila yong kumita ng konti mairaos lang ang mga dapat unahin at pangangailangan para sa isang buong araw.

We don't have a parent present who has time para turuan tayo na huwag mangutang kung hindi naman kailangan.  Na huwag tayo manghiram ng pera kung wala namang tayong means and ways na mabayaran ito. 

Wala man lang  pumapayo sa atin na huwag tayong mainggit sa kung ano ang cellphone ng mga kaibigan natin. Na huwag pilitin ang ating sarili na maabot ang mga imposibling bagay na hindi naman tugma sa estado ng ating buhay ... pagkatapos ng lahat malibing lang tayo sa utang at tago ng tago sa naniningil?

Wala man lang nagturo sa atin how to set healthy boundaries ...and no one has ever told us that yes we can say NO to somebody na gusto ring manhiram ng pera ... without experiencing that sickening feeling of guilt ... or feeling selfish and insensitive to help another tired soul.

No one has time to explain to us that yes ... you can choose to leave a relationship even if you still love the person. Yes, you can walk away from a love that hurts ... because staying destroys your well-being more than leaving.

Nobody has shown us the importance of prioritizing self-love and personal peace. Nobody has educated us to protect ourselves from further damage and make time and space for a healthier love ... even though leaving tears our hearts out and break our souls.

We feel swamped and inundated... entertaining the flood of questions, why we feel this unusual idea that we are BROKEN when in reality ... we were never taught the fundamentals of being WHOLE in the first place!

Rhymes

Ang pagaaway sa loob ng bahay ...

Nang Ama Sa Anak ... nang Tatay at Nanay ...

Murahan dito ... sigawan ng sabay ...

Lahat ng baho ... alam na ng mga kapitbahay.

Walang masama ... kung sa pagaaway ... ikaw ay naglalaway...

Is not a tool ... para tuluyan kayong maghiwalay ...

Ito ay paraan para malaman ninyo ang inyong tibay.

Kaya away lang ng away ... at nang kayo ay masanay.

Bye!

Are You Doing Too MUch For Your Son or Daughter?

Scary but true. There's a lot of this set-up na kahit matanda na ang ating mga anak ay ina-akay pa rin ng kanilang magulang ang kanilang anak sa kanilang pagtanda. 

Nagyayari ito dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ... naging over-protective ang parents to the point na hindi madapuan ng lamok or langaw ang bata. You want them safe ... stay healthy ... and successful kaya hindi nakapagtataka when you allowed yourself to be central caregiver - controlling, repressive and restrictive.

Kung hindi na makagalaw ang bata (either by excessive shielding or restriction) to the point of suffocation ... the child has the potential to be thrown off balance internally ... and psychologically. If parents are anxious that something will happen to their child ... consequently they limit their child's autonomy by forbidding them to do things their peer group normally does.

In the anal stage when the struggle of the child is autonomy vs self-doubt ...even at a young age ... the child is aware "na may nag-uumpugang bato" battling inside.  He ask himself these questions: "Can I do things for myself ... or will I continue being reliant and dependent on my parents?"

If this is the kind of parenting setup in the house, parents unknowingly create a child unprepared to deal with what life may throw their way.

Parents who have done "a little too much" (either parental control or parental involvement) do not want them to grow and be independent. They don't allow their children the opportunity to develop flexibility and resilience in times of life's challenges. These children were not allowed the freedom to manipulate their environment and test their problem-solving skills. The parents do it all for them.

Children brought this way when they become adults are hesitant and tentative and they can't decide for themselves. More often than not they have poor coping skills and defense mechanisms ... they are prone to anxiety and depression and have a poor tolerance to stress.

They are accustomed to having parents who make it their habit to clean up the messes they create. They are FUTILE and INUTIL to face minor setbacks and trials.

Ask yourself: Is over-protective and controlling good?

Look at the image in this post. Babying an adult kid, when you have reached your retirement is bordering on abnormal.

Doing a little too much in your children's lives can make them very dependent on you. When they become adults they will seek your help. And don't be surprised... if they give you frequent visits ... or they will call you for simple things that you expect they could solve by themselves. 

They will rely on you ... count on you ... and lean on you. Blame yourself if their being dependent will extend even to their finances ... or paying bills ... or being unable to decide for themselves.

Kulang at Sobra

Bakit ba maraming mga kabataan ngayon ang hindi nagsa-succeed? Bakit maraming suportado naman ng mga pamilya ... pinag-aral sa magaling at mamahaling na school ... bokya pa rin. Binibigyan sila ng freedom mag-decision sa sarili ... pero palaging "maling choices and pinipili? Was it because: 

Kulang sila sa tiyaga ... kaya walang nilaga.

Kulang sa sakripisyo ... kaya palaging may perwisyo.

Kulang sa determinasyon ... at kulang din sa imahinasyon.

Kulang pa sa ambition ... at kulang sa vision at mission.

Kulang sila sa pera natatanggap... pero bakit nalulong sa bisyo at sobra ang hanap

Kulang daw sila sa allowance ... wala ngang pera pero bakit sila sobrang high maintenance?

Sobra sa pagmamahal ... pero kulang sa pangaral

Sobra sa suporta ... pero kulang sila sa pagpahalaga sa kuarta.

Sobra sila ka-believe sa sarili ...  sobra din sa yabang ang ugali

Sobra sila kung magbabarkada ... tingin nila sobra pa sila sa pamilya.

Bakit kasi ang mga bata kung sila ay minamahal ay nagiging spoiled brat ... 

Akala siguro ... sagot sila ng tatay at nanay hanggang katapusan ng lahat!

Relationship

Sanay na ako diyan ... mga plastic ... nilalanggam kuno sa ka-sweet-an  ... pagkatapos kung mag-away wagas.

Nagaaway na nga ... nageeskandalo pa "in flagrante" sa ibabaw ng mga bubong kahit disoras na ng gabi.

Maraming ganyan sa tao. Plastic at mapagkunyari. Sila na ang pinakabuting tao sa buong mundo. Wala silang bahid ng kasalanan. Sila yong kapita-pitagan at yong kagalang-galang.

Kung nagkaletseletse man ang buhay nila ... yon ay dahil pinagwelgahan kuno sila ng tadhana at pagkataon. Hindi dahil may ginawa silang masama ... or nagkamali sila sa pagpili ng tamang choices. Lagi nilang sinisisi sa iba ang anumang nangyayari sa buhay nila. They blame everyone else ... huwag lang sa sarili nila. Tama ba yon?

Kung sila ay nalulong sa masamang bisyo ... desisyon nila yon. Walang nag-utos sa kanila na yan ang tamang direksyon. Kung napasama sila sa maling ka-tropa ... aba bakit naman sisihin ninyo ang iba ... if something goes wrong? Eh ginusto nila yon. Kung paalalahanan mo naman ... ikaw pa ang masama. at sagotin ka pang "huwag mo kaming pakialaman."

It is time for them to stand up and be a man to admit na nagkamali sila. Matigas kasi ang ulo. Lalo na doon sa pagpili ng tama at mali. Saan ka ba naman makakita na all their life ... kung saan ang mali ... doon sila. Consistent yan ha. At walang mintis ... patuloy pa rin ginagawa.

Hindi kaya panahon na for a deep introspection? Na palitan na ang mga nakasanayang gawin. Ilang "second chances"na ba ang ibinigay sa inyo?

A case of a boy who cry wolf ... ? Huwag ninyong hintayin na kung kailan gusto na ninyong magbagong buhay ... wala nang naniniwala sa inyo. 

Entitlement Issues?

 

You have entitlement issues ... if :

1. Aawayin mo ang parents mo ... tapos kunyari lalayas ka ...at ine-expect mo na hahabolin ka ng parents mo at pigilan na huwag kang umalis.

2. Feeling entitled ka ... na everytime may kaaway ka ... kahit alam mong mali ka ... sa tingin mo tama ka pa rin.

3. Feeling entitled ka ... kung everytime na may kaaway ka ... ikaw ang inaalo at sila ang sumusuko at nakipagsundo.

4. Feeling entitled ka ... kung kaya mong baluktotin ang katotohanan at kaya mong sumira at maglubid ng kwento against your family para maiwasan mong ikaw ang mapagusapan.

5. Feeling entitled ka ... that despite the problems you have created ... pakiramdam mo obligasyon ng pamilya mo ang sumalo sa iyo.

6. Feeling entitled ka ... kung sa tingin mo libre lang palipat-lipat at papalit-palit ng tirahan assuming na welcome ka sa paglipat mo at feeling free board and lodging ka pa.

7. Feeling entitled ka ... kung sa paglipat mo ... hihimurin mo ang tumbong ng nilipatan mo ... sabay sira doon sa mga kumokontra.

8. Feeling entitled ka ... kung ang tingin mo LIBRE ang lahat ... without even thinking kung ano ang mai-ambag mo.

9. Feeling entitled ka ... kung ayaw mong harapin ang mga problema mo na sadyang ginawa mo para magkaproblema ka.

10. Feeling entitled ka ... kung kaya mong pumasok sa problema ... and let your family solve the problem for you.

Photo Story

People can always see successful people ... but what they fail to see are the behind-the-scenes struggles he has to do and endure to become successful.

Have you ever thought of the hard work, persistence ... criticisms ... risks ... rejections ... time wasted ... and the late-night struggles one has to go through ... undertake ... be subjected to ... or have to put up with ... just to be where he is now today?

Success is the pay-off for the pledge and promise ... of the tireless and indefatigable resolve you have to better yourself.

For somebody to become successful, more often than not the person has to embark on decisions no one has dared before ... or has taken risks ... no one has taken the courage to venture in.

Or it could be that the person has taken more responsibilities ... or has sweated knee-deep more than what ordinary mortals are willing to shoulder. 

I have seen these types of people when I was working abroad. They are tenacious and determined ... unrelenting and tireless. Where other people are satisfied with just a meager income ... some of these types make nighttime their daytime ... just to stretch their waking hours.  Where other people content themselves with a single job ... they search far and wide ... even to the extent of having triple jobs.

I saw them juggle multiple jobs ... and what was heart-rending was they took naps in commuter buses on their way to the next job.

I have a high respect for this type of person. I just find it so amazing how their family back home failed to realize the value of their efforts and how they pummel themselves working twenty four-seven ... in the name of FAMILY.

It Is Never Right To Shame

Bakit takaw -eskandalo ka? Everytime na may taong gustong mong ituwid  ... or ituwid ka ... o may taong kumokontra sa iyo ... bakit para kang bulkan na sumasambulat at defensive agad?

Sa mga kritiko ... ang tindi ng atake mo ... it is almost bordering on belittling or ridiculing. At sa mga taong pinupuna ... doble rin ang balik mo  ha... kung hindi mo nagustohan ang mga sinabi niya ... dobleng latay ang sakit ng mga sinasabi mo and more often than not ... dahil na-offend ka ... hinihiya mo siya to get even. Whether you are the nitpicker ... or the nitpickee ... plain and simple ... you can always pin down your enemy by attacking his vulnerable sides.

Sa mga critic ...  gusto mo ikaw ang masunod ... at gusto mo pinapakinggan ka. Sa mga pinipintasan ... ayaw mong tumanggap ng constructive criticism ... ayaw mo rin ng reaction at feedback sa kung anong  mga mali mong  desisyon na lantarang ginagawa mo for all your friends to see. Gusto mo malaya maisakatuparan mo ang iyong mga decisions ... you'd rather na ang mga friends mo ... walang nakikita ... walang naririnig ... walang pakialam ... at walang hahadlang.

Talking about giving constructive criticisms ... and getting offensive when criticized ... ito ang tip ko sa inyo mga tol.

Kung may nakita ka ng mali sa tao ... it is never right to SHAME the person just to prove your point. At kung na-offend ka sa sinabi ng critic mo ... it is also never right to give him the wrath of God ... something he has not experienced before.

Learning will not happen when you use EDUCATION SHAMING as your means. Ang pamamahiya sa iba ay hindi ikatatalino ninuman ... much more ikahusay ... or will make him change to better himself.

In the same vein ... shaming your critic to give him a dose of his own medicine ... will fan the embers of your disagreement and difference of opinion ... and nothing will be resolved.

One secret so you can meet halfway is for both parties to be respectful and patient. Talk about the problem and its solutions in private ... (not in public for all the world to see and hear) ... and you see your communication grow and smooth sailing.

Education Shaming

 

Assistant in Quora has this to say about education shaming.

"Education shaming refers to the act of belittling or stigmatizing individuals based on their level of education or academic achievements. This can take various forms, such as ridiculing someone for not pursuing higher education, mocking individuals for their choice of field of study, or devaluing someone's intelligence based on their educational background. Education shaming can have detrimental effects on individuals' self-esteem and can perpetuate inequality and discrimination. It's important to promote a culture of respect for diverse educational paths and to recognize that intelligence and worth are not solely determined by formal education."

Correct me if I am wrong ... but I think education shaming is more than that. I think it encompasses any education - where shaming is involved to make the person realize his sins of omission and commission. If you caught your nephew taking 1000 pesos from your wallet (he is a graduating high school student ... and is planning to enter the university soon) and you start lecturing him on these issues:

1. honesty and truthfulness

2. being contented with what his parents give

3. living within his means

4.  careful budgeting

5.  saving money

6. stealing as a crime

your pep talk and impromptu lecture are SHAMING the kid (letting the kid know what he did and telling him the repercussions of his behavior) to TEACH him.

Shame-based teaching ... and shame-based learning is a type of education that teaches what he should do and what he shouldn't do. It is a means to let the kid know his flawed behavior that deviates from the norms of social conduct. It is a means to educate the kid on what he ought to do and should not ... by humiliating him.

The main goal here is ... to shame the kid (not for anything else) and not because you want to ... but to teach him ... and learn important life lessons.

But frankly, education shaming is pointless and ineffectual really ... having a third person eavesdropping on what is going on ... the SHAMERS will surely leave a worse taste in the listener's mouth than it does about the PERSONS THEY ARE SHAMING. 

Education-shaming and shaming-learning have their own snag and downsides ... their success is few and far between. It really depends on how the process was executed ... and how the shamer and the person being shamed react to it.

She's Gone Viral

Dani Barreto is Julia Barreto's sister - the daughter of Marjorie Barreto and Kier Legaspi ... now married to Xavi Panlilio and is mother to Millie.

She has gone viral lately when she said: " Giving back to parents should not be voluntary ... not utang na loob." She shared her thoughts on the toxic "utang na loob" culture sa Pinas when it comes to parenting.

She stressed that grown-up children giving financial allowance to their parents should be VOLUNTARY ... and not OBLIGATORY.

She also emphasized that parents should not use "utang na loob" as an excuse to demand children to provide for them financially.

What can you say, guys?

Netizens Reaction

The netizens have mixed reactions to the viral comments of Dani Baretto on whether children should continue giving financial assistance to parents when they grow old. Here are some choice comments that are ironically contrasting but nevertheless express the whole gamut of emotions on whatever side they lean to:

Angelica Lachica - Sometimes the kind of giving back of children to parents depends on what kind of parent you are. Kung nagiging mabuting magulang ka... children are wholeheartedly giving back to you. Pero kung mabigat sa loob ng anak mo na balikan ka ... ask yourself kung nagiging mabuting magulang ka sa kanila?

Tess Porras - Maraming mga mabuting magulang na buong giting nilang tinataguyod ang mga pangangailangan ng mga anak nila.  They make their nights daytime para matustosan ang bawat needs nila.  Pero may mga anak talaga na sadyang walang utang na loob. Kuha lang ng kuha at hindi marunong magbigay. I agree hindi dapat ito obligatory ... but voluntary ... pero yong totally wala kang ibigay ... it speaks volumes kung anong klaseng anak ka.

Darel Dacules - For me, tama yes, dapat hindi sapilitan. But I will choose to help my parents.  Hindi ko sila matitiis. Kahit hindi nila ako irequire na tulungan sila ... tutulungan ko pa rin sila.

My Reaction: If "utang na loob" is one toxic culture ... there is another toxic Pinoy culture concerning children - the overstaying children who can't manage their lives - and depend largely on their parents for support.

As somebody who believes the American culture that children should be out of the house once they reach 18 so they can prepare for some arduous task ahead of their lives... I am one of those "rara avis" parents who don't expect anything from their children. Hindi dahil nagmamagaling ako ... common sense lang ...if they can't take care of their own family ... isang suntok sa buwan ang maghintay ng tulong sa kanila. Does that make sense?

If Dani Barreto believes that helping parents is voluntary and not obligatory ... I also believe that parents helping children is not all-encompassing ... dapat may expiration date ito... na pati sarili nila kalimutan nila alang-alang sa serbisyo. Would you believe na kaya may mga anak na hindi kaya tumayo sa kanilang sariling paa ... kahit matanda na sila ... dahil rin sa isang toxic culture na pinaniwalaan ni Dani na obligasyon ng parents ang suportahan ang kanilang mga anak till their dying day.  Yon bang sinasalo ang lahat ... kahit hindi na dapat.

I just hope na totoo nga itong sinasabi ni Dani. The 64 dollar question is ... will she change her perspective once she reach 70 ... na uugod-ugod na at kailangan niya ang tulong ng kanyang mga anak. If my suspect is true ... para na ring kinain niya ang ...  sariling SUKA niya.

Ang pagtulong sa magulang ay KUSANG LOOB ... at di kailan man ginagawa dahil sa UTANG NA LOOB.

Huwag Sarili Na Lang Ang Iniisp Mo

May mga bata na kung magsumbat sa mga magulang feeling ENTITLED sila. Nababaligtad na nga ang mga pangyayari.  Parang sila na ang magulang at sinesermonan ang magulang na parang isang basang sisiw ... lugmok sa problema at hiyang hiya sa sarili.

Kung ano ang gusto nila yon ang masusunod. No ifs ... and no buts ang batas ... basta ito ang mga kailangan nila ... tapos. Kailangan punuin ng mga magulang ang mga kapritso nila.  Nahihiya kasi sila sa mga kaibigan  sakaling malaman nila na hindi nila kaya bilhin ang mga mamahaling gamit at gadgets.  Kung ano meron sila ,.. dapat meron siya.

At kung magsalita silang: "You'll never understand my pain.."  alin bang "pain" iho ang ibig mong sabihin? Yong "pain" na nai-inggit ka or nagseselos ... or yong "pain" na alam mong walang-wala ang pamilya mo at kailanman ay hindi mo pwedeng ikompara ang sarili mo sa mayayamang kaibigan mo?

Kawawang magulang at naging sunod-sunoran na lang. Kung alam lang ng mga bata ang krus na pinapasan ng mga magulang - wrestling with all kind of challenges - bills, health problems, monetary and financial setbacks ... sana naliwanagan rin ng makitid na pagiisip nila.

Shout out sa mga anak diyan. Magiging maalam ka dapat at kailangan pakialaman mo ang tunay na sitwasyon ninyo sa buhay. 

Kung wala kang ginawa kundi magdemand ka ng demand na bilhin ang  kung anong meron ang iba ... obligasyon mo ring alamin kung ano ang dapat at hindi.  Nakita mo ang "pain" ng selos at inggit na personal na nararamdaman mo ... pero nakikita mo rin ba ang "pain" na kasalukuyang dinadala at pinapasan ng mga magulang mo? Kung bulag ka or manhid --- sigurado ako hindi mo nararamdaman.

Pwede ba huwag naman yong puro sarili mo na lang ang inaatupag mo. Kung gusto mo magkaroon ng mga gadgets na yan ... magtrabaho ka. Diyan mo malaman how hard it is to spend your hard-earned money sa mga bagay na kung lilimiin mo lang ay parang hindi naman importante. Matuto kang makontento sa kung ano meron kayo. 

Before you know it ... sa pagiging entitled mo at pagiging vocal mo ... ikaw pa ang nagpako sa kanila sa krus ... or to put it bluntly... you put the last and final nail ... in their coffin. Mahirap mangyari? Pero pwede mangyari.

Maiintiendihan mo ang tinutukoy ko pagdating nga panahon when there is a reversal of roles ... yong hindi ka na anak ... kundi isang magulang na.

Some Words Of Advice

I remember the words of Maria Consiglio.  She is a therapist specializing in relationships and personal growth and she gave us the red flags about the people we met and have the potential to have relationships with. SHE SAID:

1. Be careful about having relationships with people with no EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. They will never understand you, they will personalize everything and you will never be seen or heard.

2. Be careful about having relations with people who can't REGULATE THEIR EMOTIONS. You will be at the mercy of their rages and bad moods.

3.  Be careful about having relationships with people with NO SELF-AWARENESS. They have no idea how their behavior affects the people around them.  So it is a matter of time before you get hurt.

4. Be careful about having relationships with people without EMPATHY.  They will never see or care about how you feel.

If no one has ever told you, I am telling you now. Look for people in your life with emotional intelligence, self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to regulate their emotions or you will be at the mercy of their dysfunction and pay the price for their immaturity and lack of growth.

Your advice was noted, Ma'am!

Holding A Grudge

Holding a GRUDGE on someone can be likened to a man pushing a big stone towards the top of the hill (see the image above). It is a difficult process, an uphill climb, a Herculean task, a risky STRUGGLE, and a treacherous BATTLE. It requires a great deal of effort and determination.

Holding a grudge can be likened also to a man with a shackle ball. He feels like he is in prison. Holding a grudge is when you can't let go of your feelings of anger and resentment to the person who has wronged you. You allow yourself to self-destruct and you resent that he has moved on and enjoyed his life. Why the picture of a shackle ball on his leg?

Simple ... when the man is in the heat of the moment ... he is angry. Anger makes the man isolate himself ... lest other people who are not a party to his anger might become the objects of his ire. 

When the man allowed himself to be DOWNED and DROWNED in anger he is being carried away by his emotional waves farther and farther from the shore ... away from other people. It becomes a form of isolation. If that is not a prison sentence ... tell me what it is!

Why Are Children Failing Financially?

We have seen a lot of children depending on their parents financially. Did it occur to them that their parents send them to school so they can plan for their future ... but they squandered that opportunity?

The sad fact is ... your parent's money is not your money. So there is no reason why you have to brag about them ... and think that money is forever. And it is foolish of you to think of "mana" ... or is it manna from heaven being given to you free of charge.

When economic reversals are at play ... and the money that you expect is lost ... it is a kick in the gut ... and you see yourself wading through the murky waters of life alone ... and not ready.

Why do so many children have money problems? You heard them say. "Kung ako ang may perang ganyan ... I assure you it will grow and multiply ten times more ..." But I guess it just plain lip service ... and it is easier said than done. 

Today we will dissect the reasons why some children are failing big time ... in the money department.

1. They need clear-cut goals.

2. They blame others except themselves.

3. They always make excuses ... and it is hard for them to face the reality that they mismanage.

4.  They loan, borrow money, and do not pay them. They also abuse credit cards.

5.  Saving money in the bank is an impossible dream. Their piggy banks are empty.

6.  Their mantra is to spend money and enjoy it.

7.  They don't subscribe to budgeting. 

8.  They always act on impulse like a pregnant woman wanting green mangoes. When hunger pangs strike... they run to the nearest 7-11 and spend all they want ... and all they got.

9.  There is no sense of control in their personality.  They act like a bottomless pit ready to devour and accommodate whatever food they feed their bowels.

10. They are entitled people ... they have the right to experience running a business and fail... as if it is their money they are spending.

11.  They brag and want to impress all the time.  Suppress is an alien word.

12. They don't have an iota of knowledge running a business.

13.  They don't have common sense ... or to it bluntly ... money sense.

14.  Investment is not their thing.

15.  They have a one-day millionaire mentality and their spending habits are second to none.

16. They live on a daily basis ... and never think about tomorrow.

17.  They are impatient and always want to make money right away. They need to learn to slow down.

18.  If money fails (being entitled people) they always believe their parents, siblings, neighbors, and the whole community will open their pockets and arms for them.

19. They never thought that asking help all the time is ABUSE.

20. They have that mistaken notion that everybody will just forgive and forget ... and embrace them so they can start fresh.

Such self-serving moves!