There is a timeless, golden piece of advice for navigating human conflict: "You cannot see your reflection in boiling water."

It is a profound, beautifully simple metaphor. When your emotions reach 100 degrees Celsius, your logic evaporates, your judgment turns to steam, and the only thing left bubbling at the surface is a catastrophic desire to destroy every bridge within a five-mile radius.

THE EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE vs. OUTCOME MATRIX

  A.[ 0°C – ROOM TEMP (CALM MIND) ] 

• Response: "Let's review the receipts quietly." 

 [ 100°C – BOILING POINT (HIGH ANGER) ]

• Reaction: "I'm going to ruin your whole life!"

B. [ 0°C – ROOM TEMP (CALM MIND) ] 

• Visibility: Clear reflection, crisp judgment. 

 [ 100°C – BOILING POINT (HIGH ANGER) ]

• Visibility: Zero clarity, total scalding.

C. [ 0°C – ROOM TEMP (CALM MIND) ] 

• Outcome: Preserved dignity and sanity. 

 [ 100°C – BOILING POINT (HIGH ANGER) ]

• Outcome: Unsent messages, immediate regret.

Emotional intelligence tells us to recognize our triggers, pause, and wait for the water to cool down before we speak. But because human beings love high-stakes dramatic theater, we routinely choose to jump straight into the pot, turn the burner on high, and make critical life decisions while scalding ourselves.

Exhibit A: The Domestic Pressure Cooker (Ang "Pukpukan" sa Bahay)

In the average household, a minor incident—like someone forgetting to refill the water pitcher or leaving a towel on the bed—can go from a zero-degree minor annoyance to a five-alarm volcanic eruption in under four seconds.

[ THE HOUSEHOLD BOILING POINT FLOWCHART ]

  INCIDENT: Someone left the plastic container unwashed in the sink.

                               │

                               ▼

  ROOM TEMPERATURE RESPONSE (Calm):

  "Kapatid, paki-hugas naman 'to kapag libre ka na."

                               │

                               ▼

  BOILING WATER RESPONSE (Anger):

  "WALA NANG NAGTULONG SA BAHAY NA 'TO! AKO NALANG LAGI! 

   MULA NUNG 2012 AKO NALANG ANG NAGLILINIS NG LAHAT!"

Notice what happens when the water boils: The unwashed container is no longer the issue. Suddenly, you are litigating family grievances from a decade ago, bringing up your cousin's wedding expenses, and threatening to move to another province.

Then, two hours later—when the water cools down, and the steam clears—you look at the reflection in the pot and realize you just disowned your favorite sibling over a ₱20 Tupperware container.

THE DOMESTIC ANGER AUDIT

 A. WHAT WAS ACTUALLY SAID AT 100°C: 

• "Lalayas na ako! Huwag niyo na ako kakausapin!" 

B. THE CALM REALITY AT 30°C: 

• "Galit lang ako kasi gutom ako, Pabili ng pares."

Exhibit B: The National Pressure Cooker (Ang Boiling Point sa Politika)

If domestic anger is a boiling kettle, Philippine politics is a geothermal power plant operating at maximum, uncalibrated capacity.

When public officials get triggered by state auditors, legislative queries, or basic media questioning, they rarely pause to let the water calm down. Instead, they immediately turn up the flame, grab the nearest live microphone, and unleash a torrent of high-decibel regret.

THE POLITICAL BOILING POINT SWINDLE

A.THE TRIGGER:  

• A state auditor asks: "Nasaan po ang resibo ng ₱125 Million?" 

B. THE BOILING RESPONSE (100°C): 

• "Tear down the institution! Impeach everyone! Press conference at 2:00 AM! Everyone is an enemy of the state!" 

C. THE POST-BOIL REALITY (When Steam Clears): 

• Legal team: "Ma'am/Sir, sub judice po tayo at wala pa tayong resibo."

Instead of stepping back to see the truth clearly, politicians routinely mistake their own boiling rage for "strength" and "authenticity." They deliver fiery, late-night tirades that feel satisfying for exactly 15 minutes—right up until the transcripts are submitted into the official court record as Exhibit A.

When you govern at boiling point, policymaking ceases to be an intellectual exercise and turns into a series of expensive, nationwide tantrums.

How do you regain your composure when emotions take over? You step away from the stove.

The next time you feel the temperature rising—whether it's over an unwashed dish in the kitchen or an unexpected line-item audit in the Senate—remember the law of fluid dynamics: You can't see anything useful in a boiling pot except your own destruction.

Shut off the burner, close your mouth, and wait for the bubbles to stop. Clarity doesn't come from screaming over the noise of the steam; it comes when the water finally goes still, and you realize that most of the fire was coming from your own stove.

Two Conflicting Schools of Thought

In the ongoing saga of human conflict, two ancient, revered schools of wisdom have collided on the orchard floor of life:

Philosophy A (The Calm and Relaxed Orchardist): "Don't seek revenge. The spoiled fruit will fall by itself."

Philosophy B (The Biosecurity Officer): "Remove the rotten fruit immediately, lest it turn the whole basket into a biohazard!"

It is a fascinating ideological showdown. One side advises patient inaction, while the other advocates preemptive quarantine. And in our modern world, we have managed to misapply both with absolute, comedic perfection.

[ OPTION 1: THE GRAVITY WAITING GAME ]

• Strategy: Sit back, grab popcorn, let karma work.

[ OPTION 2: THE IMMEDIATE PURGE ]

• Strategy: Unfriend, block, exile to a group chat.

[ OPTION 1: THE GRAVITY WAITING GAME ]

Risk: The rotten fruit stays on the branch for 6 terms and gets re-elected.

[ OPTION 2: THE IMMEDIATE PURGE ]

• Risk: Accusations of "cancel culture" and lacking "neighborly love."

The idea that "spoiled fruit falls by itself" sounds poetically satisfying. It tells us that bad people will naturally ruin themselves without us lifting a finger.

It is a beautiful concept—until you realize that in real-world institutions, rotten fruit doesn't fall; it gets promoted to Department Chief.

[ THE SOUR FRUIT CYCLE OF POWER ]

A FRUIT BEGINS TO ROT (e.g., Unliquidated Budgets, Nepotism)
│
▼
THE RELAXED CITIZENS: "Huwag na natin patulan, babagsak din 'yan mag-isa..."
│
▼
THE ROTTEN FRUIT:
"Aba, walang umaalma! Let's request another confidential budget!"
│
▼
RESULT: The entire branch rots, but the fruit stays firmly attached.
If the Agricultural Department ran on the "wait for it to fall" strategy, our grocery stores would be selling pure mold.

Waiting for karma to act while a toxic colleague, corrupt official, or chaotic relative ruins the room isn't patience—it’s just providing free real estate for rot.

Enter the second wise man: The Pruner. This philosopher understands the basic laws of epidemiology: One bad apple spoils the barrel.

In 2026, we have embraced this philosophy through the sacred act of the Digital Purge. The moment someone exhibits a mild symptom of decay—a bad political opinion, an unanswered GCash request, or an annoying hot take in the comment section—we pull out the hazmat suit and execute an immediate block.

WHEN A FRUIT SHOWS ROT:

• 10% Rot: Unfollow quietly.

• 50% Rot: Remove from the family Viber group.

• 100% Rot: File an impeachment trial or leak screenshots.

The problem with the immediate purge, however, is that everyone thinks they are the immaculate, pristine fruit, while everyone who disagrees with them is the biohazard. We spend so much time inspecting everyone else’s bruises that our own basket turns into compost.

The Hybrid Protocol: So, which wise man is right?

If you leave the rotten fruit alone, it infects the whole basket. But if you spend all day picking off every imperfect piece of fruit, you end up sitting alone in an empty tree, feeling deeply holy but entirely isolated.

THE BALANCED ORCHARD AUDIT

• RULE 1: Don't waste your energy picking a fight (Revenge is tiring).
• RULE 2: Don't let the rot touch your dinner plate (Set boundaries).
• RULE 3: Remember that gravity moves slowly, but a pruning shear is quick.

You don't need to plot revenge against the toxic people in your life—that's letting them rent space in your head for free.

But you also don't need to sit under the tree waiting for gravity
to do its job while mold drips onto your head.

The true master of the orchard knows the ultimate secret: You don't have to poison the rotten
fruit, but you certainly don't have to invite it to the family picnic.

Shake the branch, set your boundaries, and let gravity finish the job while you enjoy the fresh fruit.

Stray Dogs vs. Neighborhood Gossips

 I

In the fields of Sociology, Zoology, and Barangay Street Economics, there is an ancient proverb that states: "Don't feel bad when people talk about you. Just remember, dogs bark when they don't know the person passing by."

It's a beautiful metaphor. Deep, thoughtful, and poetic. But if we analyze it carefully, it turns out to be a massive insult to actual dogs to compare them to your local neighborhood Marites (gossips).

Before we let our tempers flare, it is critical to conduct a formal Comparative Audit between Canis lupus familiaris (The Dog) and Homo tsismosus (Your Neighboring Gossips): Here is the comparison between the canine and neeeeeigorhod gossips.

[ THE ACTUAL DOG ]

• Barks when a STRANGER approaches the gate.

[ YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD MARITES ]

• Barks even when they know EVERYTHING about you.

[ THE ACTUAL DOG ]

• Stops barking when given a dog biscuit.

[ YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD MARITES ]

• Barks even louder if you buy expensive biscuits.

[ THE ACTUAL DOG ]

• Guards the house to protect the family.

[ YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD MARITES ]

• Guards the window to see what time you got home.

[ THE ACTUAL DOG ]

• Runs away when you pick up a stick.

[ YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD MARITES ]

• Joins a Facebook Live stream to spread the news

When you walk down your street at 7:00 PM, and the dogs behind the fence suddenly start a racket, the dog's reasoning is simple: "Who is this? I don't recognize this scent. Warning: Do not cross this line!" The dog operates on clear protocol and professional ethics.

WHEN A PERSON WALKS PAST THE FRONT GATE:

-[ THE DOGS ] ─────────► "WOOF! WOOF! (Who are you? Move along!)" │

-[ MARITES BEHIND TINTED GLASS ] ───────► "Look at what she's wearing... she looks tired. Where did she come from? Is that a secret affair?!

When a real dog realizes you are a friend and you toss them a small treat, they wag their tail and remain loyal forever.

As for the neighborhood gossip: even if you buy them a milk tea and hand them ₱1,000, the moment you turn your back, they’ll whisper: "Where did they get the money for milk tea? Is it illegal?"

If you currently happen to be the main topic of conversation at the local corner store or the barangay group chat, don't worry. Your name is simply serving as Free Entertainment for people whose own lives are far too dull to keep them occupied.

RULES FOR HANDLING THE "BARKERS"

Rule #1: Never argue with a barking dog; it lowers your IQ to their level
Rule #2: Don't change your walk just because the fence gets noisy.
Rule #3: Let them make noise. A barking dog rarely bites.

The next time you hear people talking badly about you or judging you as if they know your whole backstory, just smile.

Imagine you are walking down an alley flanked by caged dogs barking behind their gates. You don't need to stop and bark back at every single dog on the street—otherwise, you become the dog.

Keep walking straight, hold your coffee high, and let them tangle themselves in their own leashes.

Irony VS Double Standard

Our group was in our usual selves of mindless scrolling on our FB pages today, and we stopped our compulsive flipping when we saw the post of Atty. Race del Rosario RN.

DDS: "Namimigay lang ng P500 fuel subsidy si Leni, gagawin ninyo agad, Presidente."

Kakampinks: "Nagnakaw na si Sara ng P448 million, gagawin ninyo pa ring presidente?"

My friends reacted right away.

Friend A: "This is IRONY of the highest order."

Friend B: "I'd rather call it a DOUBLE STANDARD.

There we go again... my friends are fighting over a "Two-for-One Special" of stupidity. 

Sino ba ang tama ... sino ba ang mali? O baka naman pareho silang tama ... or parehong mali?

The answer is yes. You are currently witnessing a masterclass in why irony and double standards often hang out together, like two friends at a party who refuse to leave.

So, tama sila pareho? Does that mean irony and double standards are synonyms?

Hindi rin. Pero kalma kayo muna, and we'll try to explain this as simply as possible.

Irony is a SITUATION. It’s the punchline of a cosmic joke - meaning in the chaotic reality of life ... sometimes it plays a trick on us by delivering results opposite to our plans, leading to a profound realization that our human seriousness is actually quite absurd.

There is always that inevitability of contradiction where the universe intervenes to make things turn out the opposite of what is expected, often thwarting human efforts, such as the Titanic sinking despite being deemed "unsinkable".

When you observe a fire station burning down, you’re baffled by the sheer, tragic comedy of the contradiction.

Imagine fire station na nga ... nasunog pa? IRONIC nga.

So how does the exchange between a DDS and Kakampink become ironic?

• The Situation: We have two potential Presidents. One is criticized for giving aid (a gas subsidy), and the other is defended for allegedly pocketing public funds.

• The Irony: It is objectively hilarious that in this country, anything is possible. The act of giving is framed as a liability, while the act of stealing millions is framed as an asset. It’s like a chef being fired for cooking a not-so-delicious meal, while the guy who burned the kitchen down is promoted to Head of Dining.

The irony lies in the unexpected contradiction: We expect the person holding the public funds to be the one protecting the money, and the person offering aid to be commended. When that flips, you have irony because of the contradiction. It is the "Wait, what?" factor.

Now, let us go to Double Standard. A double standard is a moral failure. 

It is not a literary device (like irony); it is a weaponized rulebook. 

It is the "Rules for Thee, but not for Me" policy that governs the hearts of partisan fanatics. How did the exchange between two warring camps become a Double Standard?

• The Method: This is where the fanatical brain does its gymnastics. If you are an opponent, your actions are judged by a microscope; if you are an ally, your actions are judged through a soft-focus lens.

• The Logic:

  • Target A (Leni): Must be a Saint, an Economist, a Legal Genius, and a Mother Teresa figure just to be considered "competent."

  • Target B (Sara): Only needs to exist, have a famous surname, and breathe air to be considered "qualified."

This is a double standard because the metric of measurement changes based on the identity of the person.

It isn't a contradiction of logic (like irony); it is a contradiction of ethics. 

You are using two different yardsticks to measure the exact same thing: Presidential fitness.

Can it be both? Absolutely. 

In fact, most of Philippine politics is a "Two-for-One" deal where you get a Double Standard for the price of one Irony.

Here is why my friends are both right:

The Situation (The Irony): > It is ironic that a country claiming to want "anti-corruption" leadership is actively campaigning for someone accused of budget-skimming, while ignoring the person who actually accounted for her gas subsidies.

The Behavioral Failure (The Double Standard): > It is a double standard to demand "perfection" from the former, while practicing "extreme forgiveness" for the latter.

To put it simply:

• Irony is the observation that the scenario makes no sense. (e.g., "Wow, isn't it weird that we hate people who give us gas but love people who steal our money?")

• Double Standard is the hypocrisy required to actually hold those two opinions simultaneously. (e.g., "It’s wrong when you do it, but it’s a 'strategic necessity' when my team does it.") Example: Duterte's legal team argued that impeachment complaints against President Marcos were dismissed quickly (within three days) for lacking substance, while complaints against her were treated as "established truth even before trial begins".

The reason why my friends are confused is that they are looking at the same beast from different angles. 

One friend is laughing at the absurdity of the scenario (Irony), and the other is furious at the unfairness of the rules (Double Standard).

The next time this comes up, with you and your friends, you can simply tell them: "You’re both right. It’s an Ironic Double Standard."

Comparing Notes

I read something in TechTimes: "In most countries, a 35-second delay would barely register. But in Japan, where punctuality is a national value, it's taken seriously -even on the lightning-fast Shinkansen bullet trains.  When one train was delayed by just 35 seconds, the conductor issued a formal apology, and every passenger received a full-fare refund as a gesture of respect and accountability."

I hate comparing this to the impeachment of Inday Sara, as they are two different things. They are poles apart, and yes indeed, the circumstances are different. 

But well-intentioned friends encourage me ... as long as I am trying to put it in the proper context ... I am safe from threats of indirect contempt.  

They told me to compare it with how the Japanese handled the incident, vis-à-vis how Filipinos handled it.

Ok ... ok. So the Japanese took accountability right away. With a 35-second delay ... FORTHWITH they issue formal acknowledgement that the trip delay was their fault. No ifs ... no buts ... no excuses. ... no more convoluted stories to save face ... no more defense and no pretense. And NO POLITICS.

How did Pinoys fare in Inday Sara's impeachment? Wow ... it looked like we were at ground zero. I can't believe there was a national debate on what the word FORTHWITH means. 

If the Japanese treated it to mean "ora mismo" ... Pinoys would rather wrestle with it and waste their precious time calling each other names (Bobo ... Stupid) just to delay it for six months.

After the election ... naka-robe na nga ang ilang senador ... nakataas na ang kamay para umpisahan na ang impeachment and just like the twists and turn of any soap opera ... may isang senador ang nagmungkahi na ibasura na ang impeachment dahil guided daw siya nang Holy Spirit at yon daw ang tamang gawin.

Mabuti na lang hindi napipikon ang Holy Spirit at hindi nagrereklamo "not to use her name in vain." Nakalimutan yata ng senador ... na second commandment yon? 

Well ... shit happens. Imagine isangkot mo at i-implicate ang Holy Spirit na siya ang nagturo sa kanya ng  kabulastogan? Eh kung BATO-hin kaya siya ng BATO ng Holy Spirit ... (sorry po mabait ang Holy Spirit) ... instead BINATO na lang siya ng tinapay. Patunay na chill lang ang Holy Spirit ay kahit hinahamon na siya ... nagpapasensiya pa rin.

E si Jesus Christ nga hinamon na at lahat ng devil sa disyerto to worship the devil in exchange for worldly power ... eh dinedma lang. Baka hamonan sa boxing ala-Baste baka papayag pa siguro ... or hamonan na lang ng kantahan sa Tawag Ng Tanghalan (ala Larry Gadon at lawyer Atty. Ferdinand  Topacio?)

O di ba magaling magdribble and Pinoy? Katulad ko hindi naman ako marunong magbasketball kaya hindi ko alam kung saan patungo ang post na ito ... pero sigi lang baka makahanap din ng opening at maka-lay-up din mamaya.

E kaso maraming dribolistang senador ngayon ... at ito pa ang isa at ayaw rin patalo. NagDEMAND na i-REMAND ang mga impeachment complaints at ibalik sa HOR. And Horror of all Horrors ... 18 pa mga senador ang nagtaas ng kamay para sumang-ayon.

Dribble dito at dribble doon ang nangyari para madelay lang. Meanwhile ang taong bayan at madlang people ay inip na inip na.  Yong iba ay galit na galit na. Hanggang makaisip sila ng isang brilliant idea.  Bakit hindi natin ipasa sa Supreme Court ang sisi ... dahil ang mga tao ay nagpupuyos na. Maghugas kamay tayo sa pag-dribble natin.

There were threats of civil unrest ... may nagpaplano ng People Power ... nag EDSA 4. Hintayin muna natin ang SC na makapagbigay ng ruling. Ay saka na tayo magsalita.

So dribble ulit. Ang planong mag-convene ang Senado sa last week of July ay napostpone ulit. After SONA na lang.

And the fateful day came nasa backdrop pa ang tatlong bagyo na nagta-tag team na sumalakay sa bansa. Sa gitna ng panawagan na walang opisina at walang klase ... ang Manila ay lubog sa baha. 

Kung ang Senado ay nagdidribble pa ... ang Supreme Court naman iba ang kanilang working ethics. Masigasig nilang hinarap at binuo nila ang kanilang ruling sa gitna ng walang katapusan tubig at ulan.

Tingnan mo si Inday kahit nalubog na sa baha at daluyong ng mga problema nakaisip pa ng isang innovative idea: "Ipunin daw ang tubig at dalhin sa Malacanang.

Pagkatapos na ideclare na UNCONSTITUTIONAL ng Supreme Court ang proseso ng impeachment ... parang self-fulfilling prophecy ... mabilis pa sa alas kuatro: "naghugas kamay na ang Senado." Paano?

Ang narrative nila ngayon ay 90 degrees pa ang tumbling: "Irespeto natin ang desisyon ng mataas na hukom. Tanggapin na lang natin." "The Supreme Court is the final arbitir justice." taos pusong suyo nila sa mga mamamayan. Kitam?

That was a stroke of genius. Kaya kung hindi matuloy ang impeachment this year ... that was not the Senate. Kayo na ang bahala kung sino ang sisihin ninyo. 

By the way yong isang senador consistent talaga siya ... kaya buong saya niyang ipinalandakan na tama nga ang desisyon niya na ipabasura na ang impeachment. He was guided by the Holy Spirit remember ... in the same vein that Quibuloy was the self proclaimed ... the Appointed Son of God.

So madlang people going back to the Japanese ... is that how Pinoy should regard accountabilty? And regarding time ... i-dribble na lang ba ng idribol hanggang makalimutan na lang ang problema ...  wala ba tayong punctuality bone sa ating katawan at wala tayong keber sa oras na ating sinayang?

So un-Japanese. 

The Tale Of Two VP's

 The tale of two VPs on Confidential funds:

Leni Robredo doesn't have confidential funds in her term. She was given a measly budget ... surprisingly, she did MORE with LESS.

Inday Sara was given confidential funds, and she played MORE with MORE: MORE spending  .... MORE travels ... MORE scandals and MORE controversies.

It was a fruitless 2 years in office ...  and a lackluster performance ... LESS projects ... and LESS output.

A Slip Of The Tongue?

 An occasional slip of the tongue ... or a slip of the pen is normal and is quickly forgiven by the person listening or reading... that is ... if they even notice it. Even when they do, most people most of the time will recognize a slip of the tongue or pen for what it is and realize that what you meant to say or write ... is not what you did say or write.

The actress was reminiscing the good old days with his ex by scanning an old photo album. She was almost teary-eyed ... it was a very poignant scene ... until she said this line:

"These images in the album INVOKE nostalgia ... some bitter-sweet memories of the past."

If you are not listening well because you got distracted by the pathos of the dramatic scene... you missed the slip of the tongue. Instead of using INVOKE ... the better word is EVOKE.

Evoke is to bring or recall (a feeling, memory, or image) to the conscious mind. It means to elicit a response. or bring a scenario or an emotion into your mind.

While invoke is to call on (a deity or spirit) for instance in a prayer, as a witness for inspiration. It means you pray to, plead with, beseech, implore, or supplicate. It also means to cite or appeal to (someone or something) as an authority for an action or in support of an argument.

Somebody differentiated the two terms: "When you evoke something, you draw it out, be it an action or emotion but when you invoke something, you call upon it. An easy way to remember it is that when you invoke a being or person, their presence will evoke a feeling or reaction from you."

Invoke means “to call upon” or “to mention,” and is often used when someone is identifying a law, a privilege, or an authority, as in “invoke previous court decisions.” Evoke can mean both “to bring to mind” as in “evoke memories” and “to cause to happen,” as in “evoked laughter from the crowd.”

Comparison

On the internet, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE post their photos to flaunt and emphasize their beauty and sexy bodies. Photos after photos they bore you with an attitude bordering on narcissism.

On the other hand ... the not-so-beautiful PEOPLE post reviews, memes, political views etc. to parade and show off their intelligence and wisdom. Article after article they annoy you with their outlook leaning on self-conceit and self-love 

Ano ang pinagkaiba? Wala. Pareho lang silang self confident ... other people termed that as "mayabang".

The Connection Between Gossip and Envy

Ang tsismis is usually done by people who are angry at you ... spread by people who are Loko Loko ... and believed by people na makitid ang ulo.

Ang inggit naman is a condition na kung ano meron ang iba ... dapat mas marami ... at mas ungos pa sila,  If they don't get what they want ... sisiraan ka.

When you are jealous or envious of somebody... a fire inside you needs extinguishing. And one devious way of dousing the fire that is burning and suffocating your being is to start gossiping or spreading lies about the person.  The goal is to reduce the speed sa parang bulalakaw na pagtingin at respeto ng mga tao sa taong kinaiinggitan.

Did you see the connection? If there is envy ... gossip is on the periphery.  You resort to tsismis to bring somebody down ... and when you succeed... you feel better about yourself.

The hallmark signs of people predisposed to envy and gossip are: Poverty/financial insecurity, lack of confidence, rebuking yourself harshly, jealousy of somebody else achievements, extended idle times, having no hobbies or diversion, displeasure with the status quo and always singing that old refrain: "Me and me ... against the world."

Fixed Mindset VS Growth Mindset

In the image above ... the Fixed Mindset says, " I know everything". .. anything they don't know ... they don't care. The Growth Mindset on the other hand says:  "I don't know enough"... so anything  they don't know... they will try their best to discover it."

A FIXED MINDSET means that the person believes that intelligence and talent exist, belong...  & pre-determined by factors present in an individual at birth. If you are an Eistein ... you believe that intelligence will be carried over and will sail you through ... for the rest of your life. In the same vein ... if you are not that intelligent ... that is only how far you will go. If you are not good at writing ... no matter what you do ... you will still be the same half-baked cock-eyed dreamer wanting a place in the sun ... in journalism.

People with fixed mindsets don't see life, circumstances, or themselves as fluid and capable of change. For example, they believe that intellectual and mental capacities ... expertise, and competence are qualities you either have or don't have. 

In contrast, another group of people at the other end of the spectrum (GROWTH MINDSET) means they believe intelligence and talent can be developed with ceaseless repetition, patience ... determination, and constant practice.

I tend to believe I belong in this group. As a student before... in my internship, as I was gradually exposed to the nitty-gritty demands of my profession ... I almost gave up ... because I could not stomach inserting a nasogastric tube in the patient's nares ... I felt I was like a wicked buffoon terrorizing my patient with a lot of heartless pokes. I realized with constant practice ... a little confidence ... and a desire to help the patient ... there was a time in my career when patients were looking for me ... I made a name for myself.... a title that they chose me  to be doing this invasive procedure on them.

Going back to someone with a growth mindset ,,, this group views intelligence, abilities, and talents as learnable and capable of improvement through effort and time. On the other hand, someone with a fixed mindset views those same traits as inherent, incapable of change ... and permanent. 

A fixed mindset is termed inexorable - these people are stubborn and hard-headed ... and will not succumb to change their minds no matter what. They are highly resistant to change ... and hate being convinced to change direction. 

A fixed mindset is a self-perpetuating restraint that handcuffs a person from achieving their full potential. A fixed mindset prevents individuals from developing skills, knowledge, and abilities to the extent they can. Believing that abilities and intelligence are fixed traits, leads to the resistance of challenges and their fear of failure.

This mindset can derail and limit personal growth and shackle his ability to realize what he can achieve to its full extent. They easily give up and retreat without giving a good fight, abhor stumbling blocks and impediments, and avoid threats and ultimatums. They also bury their heads in the sand rather than listen to criticisms ... and whatever small successes one has achieved ... is very intimidating to them.

Students in a school with a fixed mindset may think his scholastic hurdles are proof of their inherent incapability.  They often back off ... and the lack of incentive and motivation disintegrate ... resulting in dismal academic output. They also shy away from challenges, fearing failure may reflect their intelligence.

Why am I discussing and sharing this with you?

Our mindset, or mental attitude and disposition, significantly impacts how our lives are shaped and how successful and fulfilled we feel.

If there are things we need to perfect ... need to study more ... then let us give ourselves the chance to grow and conquer. Give ourselves a tap on the shoulder for having the drive to continue and search ... and experiment.

The term "mindset" describes the underlying attitudes, ideas, and presumptions we have about the world, other people, and ourselves. Having a fixed mindset and the desire to stop in the middle of the game will cripple us ... and tie us down ... and we are left wondering the "what ifs".

The Juan Tamad Of The World

Ano ba ang pagkaiba ng istorya behind the story ng image na nasa itaas sa istorya ni Juan Tamad?

Not much.  Kung si Juan Tamad ay maghapong nakanganga hoping na mahulog na ang bayabas sa bunganga niya ... ganoon din ang sitwasyon sa itaas ... isang taong gusto kumain ng masarap ... pero walang drive para maisakatuparan ito.

Malaking sampal ito sa mga taong gustong bigyan ng magandang buhay ang kanilang mga anak ... pero hindi nila ito magawa dahil mas gusto nilang matulog hanggang bumula na ang labi.

Gusto nila ay may magandang trabaho ... paano yan hindi nga nakatapos ng pag-aaral .. kahit all out naman ang mga parents na igapang sila ... makatapos lang. And it is very ironic na ayaw nila ng init ng araw ... at ayaw nilang mapagod. Gusto nila ng trabahong nasa airconditioned building sila ... pero hindi naman pwede ang mag-apply sa SM or sa Robinson na maging sales person or promodizer ... dahil ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga kaibigan nila kung makita sila?

Ayaw nilang makita silang naglalakad lang ... kasi sayang naman ang pamasaheng P15 pesos sa tricycle ... at ang na-save nilang pera ay pwede pang pambili  ng Swakto kung nauuhaw sila. Hindi rin sila pwedeng pumasok sa palengke ... naku matutunaw sila sa hiya sakaling maispatan silang bitbit ang basket ng gulay at isang dosenang galunggong. Ang tingin nila sa palengke ay masikip, mabaho at low-class ... so how can you expect na maghanap sila ng trabaho sa lugar na ito?

Gusto nila ng trabaho ... pero hindi mo man lang nakita na gumagawa ito ng resume' ... nor makita mong nagaapply or naghahanap ng trabaho. Meron bang trabaho na basta na lang lalapit sa iyo? Not unless mayaman ang lolo at lola mo at pamanahan ka ng restaurant ... computer shop or isang kiosk ng milk tea at coffee shop.

Sabi nga ni Mel Tiangco sa 24 Oras ... "Kuya Kim ... ano na?

                                    Juan Tamad says: " I am not lazy  ... I just want to conserve energy:

Who Pays and Hudas Not?

I am a good judge of character. With my extensive experience in psychology and psychiatry... I can almost read somebody else minds. I know who is lying and who is up to something.

Reacting to this hugot line above ... there is a big difference between a person who is afraid or embarrassed to borrow money vs somebody who is "come hell or high water" wanting to borrow money.

Psychology or common sense dictates that people who are afraid to borrow money are wrestling with overthinking ... especially the repercussions resulting from borrowing money. One reason maybe is that he doesn't want to taint his name and be tagged a habitual or perennial "welcher" (a person who swindles you by not paying back a debt or a wager).

He also is aware that lending or borrowing money is a great way to ruin relationships. The person borrowing money generally has that screwed-up mentality that the money lent is free money or a generous gift ... and doesn't need to be paid back.  So he tries his best to avoid being painted as one.

He also thinks this habit is addictive ... the first time a person borrowed money and did not pay ... and the lessor did not show any signs of defiance ... he is coming back for more. He thinks all people are like that... too forgiving & magnanimous.

In short ... this group of people are embarrassed of what these people are doing.  They have that passion of moral goodness ... and there is always that sense and the feeling of obligation to do right and continually be a good person. They have a conscience ... so expect that they come back and pay.

On the other hand, people who are 'head over heels', persistent, and pestering you to borrow money ... by all looks of it really he is in dire financial strait.  If he is just an acquaintance or a new person ... look out ... you may be dealing with the wrong person.

If one is in a financial quandary lending money once or twice is not a problem ... but it doesn't have to come to the point that it will become a habit. Making everyone feel that it is alright to barge in and keep knocking at somebody's door ... treating him like he is the Father of Perpetual Help ... is a perverse thought.

These people can end up bleeding you dry ... as they suck like leeches ... so it needs to stop. Besides ... it puts the lender in a very uncomfortable position of having to be the money collector. And what does he get in return ... a litany of vicious words and dagger looks. If looks could kill ... the lender may be dead by now.

 A lot of lenders haven't learned their lessons and there were times they have been sabotaging their own financial health to give aid to people who created their own mess. It’s like when a friend's house is on fire ... trying to be a hero and help him carry appliances from burning … (perish the that Superman thought) ... jumping in may not be the right thing to do under the circumstances.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

Ang Mga Nangungutang Ay parang Mga Alibangbang

Ang mga nangungutang ng pera ay parang mga "butterflies in the garden" ... LALAPIT-LAPIT at PAPILI-PILI ng mga bibiktimahin.

Pag oras na sa pagbayad para silang mga "caterpillars in their cocoon" ... TATAKBO-TAKBO at TATAGO-TAGO sa utang at naniningil.

The Difference Between Helping and Enabkling

A reminder to parents, brothers, sisters, friends and families. Helping is good ... but clear-cut demarcation lines are now written in the sand whether our help is really aiding our loved ones ... or are we making them worse?

The first thing we have to know is to differentiate helping from enabling.

Helping is doing something for someone else who cannot do it for themselves.

Enabling is doing things for someone who is ABLE and should be doing that things for his benefit. It is doing something for the person who is totally FIT and BUFF and is CAPABLE of doing things for themselves.

Enabling happens when you defend and rationalize why you help. You justify the obvious behavioral issues of your loved one under the pretense that you are only helping them.

One classic example of enabling is giving a loved one money who has a chronic problem of spending it on something else other than the intended purchase.

Another example is when you make excuses as to why a loved one resort to borrowing money instead of looking for a stable job. It will get worse if you invent stories justifying why he has to borrow money or stay at home instead of hunting for decent work.

Holding A Grudge

Holding a GRUDGE on someone can be likened to a man pushing a big stone towards the top of the hill (see the image above). It is a difficult process, an uphill climb, a Herculean task, a risky STRUGGLE, and a treacherous BATTLE. It requires a great deal of effort and determination.

Holding a grudge can be likened also to a man with a shackle ball. He feels like he is in prison. Holding a grudge is when you can't let go of your feelings of anger and resentment to the person who has wronged you. You allow yourself to self-destruct and you resent that he has moved on and enjoyed his life. Why the picture of a shackle ball on his leg?

Simple ... when the man is in the heat of the moment ... he is angry. Anger makes the man isolate himself ... lest other people who are not a party to his anger might become the objects of his ire. 

When the man allowed himself to be DOWNED and DROWNED in anger he is being carried away by his emotional waves farther and farther from the shore ... away from other people. It becomes a form of isolation. If that is not a prison sentence ... tell me what it is!

When All You Do Is Dream

Hey guys I am not boasting here.  At this point in your life, you should know by now the difference between someone telling the story of his life ... and someone bragging about his achievements and rubbing it in your face.

Don't belabor and resent somebody who calls a spade a spade and wants to impart his own version of success and how he gets it to work to his advantage. He just wants to encourage you to keep going ... because when you decide that you have to stop and call it quits ... with all certainty... you are knocking at the door of failure.

The truth is I live my life full of disappointments, failures, and a never-ending series of do-overs (doing it over again). I have my own share of ups and downs ... any word resembling the shape and color of total collapse ... I experience it - defeat, frustration, disaster, catastrophe, screw-up, downfall, malfunction, breakdown - you name it ... been there and done that.

I did not have the happiest of childhoods - where money is scarce and far between. I have no experience of being given gadgets for free ... nor do I wear designer clothes to the envy of my friends. Never were my school supply items newly bought from National Bookstore ... year in and year out ... I am always singing the same old refrain - hand me down items coming from well-meaning friends and relatives. As a child, my eyes were opened too early to the harsh realities ... and the usual same old routine needed to be done in the name of survival.

These setbacks did not prevent me from thinking these days would pass and I will show everyone I can be successful too. I daydream a lot of having a good life too - a good motivation to continue and never give up.

Added to the above menu are my being hardworking, desire to succeed,  perseverance, resiliency, common sense, and ardent wish to help my parents and make them proud. They became a sure-fire amalgam that brings all ingredients & condiments into one pot... all in my desire to savor a mouth-watering success story.

In summary (as in the illustration above) I failed a lot of times ... and hard life became my stepping stone to improve the quality of my life. Dreaming is good ... but when all you do is daydream and sleep ... chances are you will fail again.

So don't even wonder ... why failures become a permanent fixture in your life. The answer to your question of why you always fail is staring at you in all its splendor.

The problem is you always ignore the obvious ... and when all indications in your post-mortem evaluation are pointing in your direction ... acknowledge them and make sure you take some corrective and remedial action to rectify the problem. 

The Irony Of Life

Comparison

This is a sad reality. Where people used to frequent libraries before ... the new generation has looked the other way of getting the information they need through the internet. Free book vis a vis free wifi?  You must be kidding.

Why this sudden change of heart? These might be the reasons.

1. It is free and very cheap. If you want to research using a book you can shell as much as P500 to get what you want.

2. You can make use of the internet at the confines of your room. Compare that with commuting and make use of your hard-earned P50 to go to the nearby library.

3. Everything is available on the internet. You don't need to browse and make your hands dirty with dust accumulating in the pages of the book.

4. You don't need footstools or elephant ladders in libraries to look for the elusive books you want. On the Internet, almost everything is offered to you right at your fingertips.

5. You don't need to crane your neck like a giraffe browsing at fungus-infested pages of the research work you need.

6. Accidents can happen in libraries. A broken leg or hip is too much to pay just to get the journal of your liking.

7. Books don't talk. On the internet, there is no need for visual aids to understand something. YouTube covers all.

Comparson

Ang galing na comparison: Single VS Married ... sa akin  naman Bortang Aso VS Tambay Sa Kusina Na Aso.

Comparison

Pansin din ba ninyo  na ang taong NANG-GUGULANG at NANLOLOKO ... ang bigat ng dating ng grasya.

Pero ang taong GINUGULANG at NILOLOKO ... magaan ang pasok ng biyaya at malayo sa dis-grasya.