Melanie Marquez Gaffes

Are you pedantic? Are you someone who is concerned with literal accuracy and formality? Are you someone who annoys others by correcting errors? Do you care much about minor English details ... or are you someone who shows her English proficiency and expertise? If you are ... this post is not for you.

Melanie Marquez even before being crowned Miss International in 1979 has butchered the King's Language ...  and ironically she is very proud of it. She is down to earth ... she can make fun of herself ... and she doesn't mind reliving the nightmares when her pageantry and showbiz journey is punctuated more by her blunders while wrestling with the English language.

If Erap (President Joseph Estrada) has Eraptions, Melanie Marquez has Mellanisms.

So without much further ado here are some of the classic Melanie Marquez gaffes and inaccuracies ... it has become a favorite pastime to some of us.

1. When asked if she is eating meat ... she responded without batting an eyelash: " I don't eat meat ... I am not a CARNIVAL."

2. In a Q and A segment of Binibning Pilipinas ... she was asked: "What part of your body do you want to change?" With much confidence ... she replied: "I won't change my legs ... because I am contented with my LONG-LEGGED."

3. When asked about her brother's situation she blurted out: "Don't JUDGE my brother ... he is not a BOOK."

4. In defense of brother Joey Marquez: "Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko? Hindi ba kayo naPERSUAVE sa mga kwento niya?

5. More Joey Marquez defense: "Hindi si Joey Marquez ang tipong nambubugbig ng babae. Talagang malapit lang siya sa gulo ... PRO-ACCIDENT kasi siya.

6. After watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number ... she can't help but comment: " Nikki you are so galing.  You should go to America.  For sure you will sell HOTCAKES!"

7. Coimmenting on her father Direk Temyong Marquez ... she said: "Ang tatay ko ang only LIVING LEGEND na BUHAY!"

8. To Senator Lito Lapid: "Hello ... huwag kang tumahol sa sarili mong bakuran noh.  You know huwag kang TUMAHOL like DOGS."

9. On being redundant: "Can you REPEAT that for the SECOND time around ... once more from the top?"

10. Somebody was looking for Joey: "Hello ... my brother Joey is OUT OF TOWN.  Would you like to WAIT?"

11. While promoting her movie with Aleck Bovick: "Please watch Hiram starring ALECK Baldwin (referring to ALECK Bovick) and myself. It's DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara."

12. When she had a car accident: "Nagpasalamat ako sa Diyos dahil pwede akong ma-PARASITE dahil sa car accident." She meant PARALYZE.

More Mellanisms

 1. Sagot niya sa isang reporter after a very hectic and exhausting day: " Bakit ang dami mong tanong ... you are so QUESTIONABLE!

2. While answering the phone: " Hello ... Wait for a moment. Please HANG yourself.

3.  This is her reply to a duke who was asking how he can contact her:  " Why will I give him a CALLING CARD?  I am not a CALL GIRL."

4. In an interview with Boy Abunda in the Buzz after giving birth: "My ANSWERS have been PRAYERED."

5. In her acceptance speech at Metro Filomfest Awards night: "Eto na ang pinakamaligayang PASKO ... at manigong BAGONG TAON sa inyong lahat."

6. In one of her outbursts: " I won't STOOP down to my LEVEL"

7. In her interview with Boy Abunda she was asked "Kung paano na lang ang showbiz career niya ngayong MORMON na siya. She retorted: "Ok lang Tito Boy ... matagal naman along semi-RETARDED."

8. When asked if her present husband Adam Lawyer is her LAST Mr. Right. She jokingly replied: "PERIOD na talaga ... wala nang EXCLAMATION POINT."

See ... Melanie Marquez ... makes fractured English becomes fashionable.  And the way she said her piece makes you ask yourself: "Is she for real?"  She had convinced you... her gaffes and inaccuracies are just a front ... a facade ... for how can you suspect ... somebody winning an international crown can equal ... or even surpass President Erap's record in fragmented and incoherent soliloquy.

When she accompanied her daughter in Exspecially For You segment of It's Showtime, Melanie capitalized on her classic lines ... to sustain the zany and the comic free-flow of ideas. The segment showed the mother and daughter team's individual sides - Michelle displaying one more time that she is a good conversationalist and can speak her mind like a pro. One more time she was her loquacious self and her temerity to outtalk even the hosts ... including the babbling and the blabbering Vice Ganda ... and Melanie emphasizing her past blunders repeatedly to remind everybody on what her heyday was all about.

Indeed, Melanie has immortalized these archetypal and quintessential lines ... and one wonders the longevity of her usage of these lines.  I really wondered whether there are expiration dates on this ... or to put it bluntly ... is there a last day ... any retailer blogger such as myself can allow these consumable classic lines to maintain its dewy freshness, flavor or texture?

She is an icon alright ... and for as long as she is around ... and continues messing around with the English language ... pageant fans and bloggers will continue to namedrop these instances ... till kingdom come.

The book of Melanisms

John Arcilla Fires Back!

 You can seldom hear  the "General" John Arcilla share his two-cent worth ... and in our post yesterday about utang na loob vis a vis financial support to our aging parents ... he could not hold his punches.

If Dani Barreto deserved a viral reception for her bold and confident but outrageous point of view on the toxic Pinoy culture of utang ng loob... so is this one - somber and subdued ... but has a touch of maturity in all its trimmings.

If John Arcilla is an English teacher he will surely mark WRONG WORDS USED in Dani's composition.