The Tsinators Are Silent

A Satirical Report from the Floor of the Senate

In a shocking medical mystery sweeping the Philippine Senate, doctors are rushing to investigate a sudden, localized outbreak of Selective Laryngitis and Acute Spine Softening affecting two prominent lawmakers: Senators Alan Peter "The Peacemaker" Cayetano and Robin "The Action Hero" Padilla.

Just weeks ago, the duo—affectionately dubbed the Tsinators by the internet—were at peak vocal health. 

They roared in defense of international etiquette, wagging their fingers at PCG Commodore Jay Tarriela for the "grave sin" of using a caricature of China’s President.

"Respect!" they cried. "How would we feel if they did that to our President? 

We would be livid! We would be furious! 

We would unleash a theatrical display of emotion rarely seen outside of a primetime telenovela!"

The Current Situation: A Cricket's Symphony

Fast forward to today: Chinese state media has released caricatures of President Bongbong Marcos (PBBM) that make the Commodore’s drawing look like a high-end oil painting.

The "mushrooms" have sprouted, the state-sponsored ink is dry, and the Filipino public is waiting for the promised explosion.

Instead, the Senate floor is so quiet you can hear a confidential fund dropping.

Where is the Anger?

• Senator Cayetano: Currently busy checking the "Terms and Conditions" of his outrage. Sources say he is looking for a clause that allows for a 10-year grace period before responding to any superpower.

• Senator Padilla: Reportedly searching for his "Action Star" script. Apparently, the scene where he defends the nation’s honor against a foreign bully was accidentally swapped with a scene where he practices "Extreme Diplomacy" (also known as staying very, very still).

The Official "Tsinator" Translation Guide

To help the public understand this stoic silence, we’ve provided a translation of their previous stance:

What they said then	What it actually meant
"We will get angry if they do it to PBBM!"	"We will get angry at the Filipino who pointed it out."
"You can't blame the Chinese Embassy."	"We definitely aren't going to blame them."
"Show respect to world leaders."	"Please don't make them stop liking us."
"Nasaan ang galit?" (Where is the anger?)	"Patriotism is not found when Beijing is involved."

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A Call for Passion

Filipinos are urged to check the Senate’s Lost and Found department. 

There are reports of two sets of "Firm Convictions" and one "National Pride" left behind near the buffet table.

Gentlemen, the stage is set. The Chinese State Media has provided the props. 

The caricatures are live. 

We were promised a blockbuster performance of "The Defenders of the Palace." 

Instead, we’re watching a silent mime act titled "The Art of  Looking the Other Way."

Show us the fire, Senators! Even a small sparkler would do at this point.