Quotes on Entitlement

 To understand the quote from The HippoCritic ... let us define some terms so you will understand the quote better.

-manipulate -a person who influences others by attacking the mental and emotional side of another to get what they want. They use deception, coercion, and trickery to maintain power.

-underhanded- dishonest, deceptive, and sly.

-hypocritical - a person who pretends to have virtues and qualities that she doesn't have.  They are also those people whose actions contradict their stated beliefs or feelings.

-conditional love- is love with conditions. A classic example is when a person says," I will love you if you buy me this ring." This love can be withdrawn if certain expectations were not met.

-veiled threat-  a threat that is not directly stated but is implied using disguised language. The threat is masked and not openly expressed.

-retraction- a withdrawal of a statement or accusation

Responding To Readers

Well, we can't stop readers from asking questions about entitlement ... and one of them asked if there are entitlement issues between husband and wife.

Of course, there are ... entitlement issues can dog any type of relationship ... it is not only confined to parents and the child, it can also happen to husband and wife, to his colleagues and co-workers, to his classmate ... even to the community.

Having a husband who expects you to bow to them is infuriating and aggravating I don't blame her if she contemplates ending the marriage. A husband who thinks all the decisions should come from him and need his approval is annoying. If a partner makes the top call ... including what kind of dress you can wear ... or he accompanies you to buy groceries so he can watch eagle-eyed the items you purchased... his constant meddling can be exasperating.

Do you have a wife who believes she deserves better treatment than you do ... or some rules don't apply to you. Is she sensitive when all her expectations and hopes were thwarted ... and she feels violated ... and does her last breakdown give her a classic meltdown ... in your books? Does she want men to adhere to rigid behavioral standards - that men are expected to be successful, strong, and dominant?  Does she think what others need and want are less important ... and the only thing that matters is her needs?

Feeling entitled is toxic. Consider these other scenarios.

1. Are you one of those husband or wife ... who shower their family with love ... because they expect to be showered the same? Actually, there is nothing wrong with that. They are DOING THE THING RIGHT and it is the RIGHT THING TO DO. It becomes tricky and problematic, however ... when one expects interest and an added premium to the love he is investing. Is he trying to show love because he wishes to get loved back? 

This kind of mindset is disturbing ... because they are putting themselves on the precipice of disappointment. The question however ... can they really get the love back as they expected? Being entitled maniacs... they showed love ... so the family owed to love them back? The drawback here is ... if things didn't go in their direction ... I can't imagine how they feel when the love they expected was not enough ... or they feel the affection they received was scant and scarce as they sulk in bed feeling doom and gloom?

2. Are you one of those husband and wife who expect recognition of your hard work ... and a simple THANK YOU will brighten your day? After working under the heat of the sun for eight hours ... do you expect your wife and children to give you a welcome kiss when you went home? 

Or are you a wife who after the draining tough morning of taking care of the children, doing the laundry, and ironing them ... did you expect your husband an attitude of gratitude and invite you for a dinner date at fast food? A gift perhaps ... or sex? Having that belief that your partner owed you something (being an entitled person)how you wish your efforts will be appreciated and you expected they should give you something ... whatever form it may be.

Any sins of omission and commission ... become an indelible sin.

3. Are you one of that husband and wife who despite being married maintains a group of friends they just can't ignore and resist.  Ask yourself if this regular habitue of your household ... impacts your marriage and relationship? 

Do your besties meddles with your family and its dynamics? Does your husband's friend's drinking in the house factor into the disharmony of your married life?  Or does your wife's BFF has been anointed by you as the "pambansang sawsawera" of the year award? It is not unlikely that the people frequenting your home can give advice or suggestions that may poison the relationship and stunt its growth.

Being an entitled person ... watch out and be wary. It is hard to be placed in a rock and a hard place ... and you will force to choose - family or friends?

4. Are you one of that husband and wife whose main problem is Money? Before you plunge into marriage have you ever asked yourself if you are ready to embark on this journey ... or if you are just playing house? Are both of you college graduates and have a steady job? Have you trained yourself to be independent ... away from the peering eyes of your parents? Do you have a house of your own? Do you know that living on your own ... you have to pay for utilities, bills, and groceries? How many children are you planning to have? These are some of the questions would be parents should ask themselves. If your answer to most questions is NO ... then financial problems will dog and dragged you to no end.

For entitled people, they will not only drag themselves ... but will include everybody as part and parcel of their monetary problems where there is no end in sight.

Ending this post I just want to say ...You can get past these attitudes of entitlement. However, one has to understand why you were in the middle of a quicksand of feelings of entitlement in the first place... or why your spouse has these feelings where she is being sucked in and there is no way out. Without insight, you are in limbo and everything is dark and there is no light to pave the way.

And then when you get a clearer picture of yourself and your feelings and your situation, together, you can come up with a plan that works for both of you.