Do You Feel Sorry For Your Mistakes?

Question: Did you ever feel sorry for the mistakes you made?

One reader volunteered to answer the question. Let me reprint what he said.

"I did a lot of mistakes in my life, and I regret almost every one of them.

There are times when I treat my girlfriend (now ex) so bad, that when I remember those days, I feel like I’m an ungrateful asshole. Well, I am, back then.

There are times when I had my share of a superiority complex and I treat people like shit.

But the biggest regret will be my mistake to my father. I was young. I love to watch Kamen Rider Black on the TV. One time, my TV is broken so my father is fixing it himself. When the show is about to air, my father still hasn’t finished the repair. I was mad and yelled at him. I didn’t remember exactly what I said back then, but I remember the rage. He did what he can, he’s not even a TV technician. Just a regular father trying to save money for the repair cost.

Damn, I regret that day.

Whatever you do, that you regret, learn from it. If possible, ask for forgiveness from the person that you hurt. I reached my ex and say that I’m very sorry for what I did. I also ask for an apology from my father.

Do not repeat your mistakes.

Nakakapagod Ang Magpuna

Nakakapagod din ang magbigay ng paalala lalo na kung nakikitang mong walang pagbabago ang binibigyan mo nito. Akala nyo ba natutuwa at nagagalak ang mga nagbibigay ng puna sa mga pinaggagawa nila? Akala mo ba ay feeling virtuous sila, decent, principled at faultless na kung umasta na lang ay sila na ang the most honorable and the most righteous?

Hindi ito ang punto hijo. Sinasabi nila ang mga nakita nila dahil mahal ka nila -hindi dahil takaw-puna sila. May mga pagkamali sila for sure, but that doesn't stop them to remind you of your excesses and shortcomings? They are doing this dahil gusto ka nilang magbago. Yon lang yon.  

Kung ayaw mo - your choice. But don't blame them for showing concern and apprehension that you going down the abyss of nothingness.  For all its worth ikaw na rin makapagpatunay in your history that after ignoring their warnings tapos bumagsak ka ... wala kang maisip pupuntahan kundi bumalik sa kanila.

Constructive Criticism

Bakit may mga taong ayaw magbago? Allergic sila sa mga puna at constructive criticism na sana ay gawin nilang gabay sa pagtahak sa buhay. Ayaw nila ang mga reminders na paulit-ulit, at recycled at kung narinig  na nila ang puna mo noon ... ayaw na nilang marinig ito ngayon.  Pag pinuna mo ulit buong ningning nilang sabihin ito sa iyo. Ayaw nilang mapuna, pero mabilis pa sa alas kuatro kung magpuna sa iba, BASTA HINDI SIYA.

Hindi kaya nila alam kaya sinasabi mo ito ng paulit-ulit ... na para ka nang sirang plaka (katulad ng pangungutang)  ... dahil paulit-ulit din nilang ginagawa ito ng walang habas without even realizing na lubog na sila sa utang?

Battle of Egos

In my opinion ang mga nangyari above is a battle of egos.  Gusto patunayan ng isa't isa kung sino ang matira at sino ang matibay sa usaping pagpuna at pagalala. Ang parent gusto lang maging magulang ,,, at ang mga anak naman para silang abogadong nilulusotan ang bawat argumento. 

Bakit ayaw makinig ... at bakit ayaw ang paulit-ulit na sermon - hindi kaya sa dahilan na may plano at gagawin nila ulit ang mga bagay na pinaalaala sa kanila (in this case the habit of borrowing money)? Pagpangutang na lang ba ang natitirang option? How about looking for a job ... mahirap ba gawin ang option na ito? 

Parents ... A Hater?

I really hate to say it, but some children assume that when a parent provides feedback or is trying to mirror the son's behavior (whether it is constructive or destructive), he or she is a HATER. Your parent does not hate you,(for crying out loud) they are just telling you the truth ... & they are just concerned about you.

If you hate listening to words of wisdom or comforting words ... something is wrong somewhere. If you are not OPEN to parental advice/fatherly reminders then you are not OPEN to growing up like a mature adult.

Now let us make the situation reverse: how would you feel ... if you are at the lowest ebb of your life ... and here comes your parents being silent about the whole thing ... or worse ... making you feel you are alone in your fight.

Just food for thought for you: don't wait until your parents will stop giving you constructive criticism. When that situation comes ... most likely they have given up on you.

Head or Heart

 

What people say about us has its own TARGET.   When people give us rave reviews, or give us a standing ovation ... when people cheer for us and give us applause ... when the company we worked with pays us some commendation or a tribute of some sort ... these warm our hearts and elevate our spirit and we are in cloud nine. A word of warning though ...

Don't make the acclaim, the accolade, and the compliments get into our HEAD.   By the same token, when somebody reminds us, critiques our work, castigates, and slams what we did, or simply wants to burst our bubble ... don't let that get into our HEART.

Criticism is Like ....

 

Constructive criticism is like ... RAIN.

It should not be a heavy DOWNPOUR ... nor its RAINing like cats and dogs enough to cause a FLOOD or a SURGE. It should be mild to moderate ... to cultivate the shrub's self-esteem and gentle enough to protect its roots and flowers.

Puna't Papuri

Kung ang isang tao ay matanggap niya ng maluwag sa loob ang mga PAPURI ... aba dapat rin lang tanggapin niya ng walang reklamo ang mga PUNA. Kailangan natin ito for our personal growth.

Bakit? Kung sa mga halaman ... it takes both the sun and the rain for them to grow. Ganoon din sa tao. Kailangan natin ang mga papuri ... and on the same breath kung may puna mang darating ... tanggapin natin ito para sa pagbabago para mas lumago at titingkad lalo ang ating buhay. 

Appreciate Constructive Criticism

Accepting constructive criticism is uncomfortable for many, but everybody should realize that it is imperative and paramount.  It (constructive criticism) is likened to having symptoms of pain. They are alarm prompts and distress signals that shake you to pay attention that something is unsound in your body ... that is why there is pain.

If you ignore the pain or the constructive criticism ... something bad is going to happen. Whether you like it or not.

Think about it.  Sometimes it is smart to appreciate somebody's honesty ... he will not rub it on your face if he doesn't care for you.

Parents Should Set Limits

I am not your guidance counselor. I am your FATHER. I am here to set LIMITS so that you will become a good parent yourself in the future.

You may feel I am giving you a full-throttle every time I make a sermon ... but what the heck.  It is my job to raise a responsible young adult, not to breed vices and cultivate wrong-doing when I see one.