When Over-Thinking Becomes Abnormal

Our last post yesterday discusses ... overthinking can help the person figure out what he should do ... and what action plan and program of measures he will take ... to achieve a specific goal. So when does overthinking become abnormal?

Overthinking becomes destructive when the person is having difficulty turning off the faucet of repetitive thoughts that bugs him to death. He also finds himself sucked in between a rock and a hard place ... making him believe there are just too limited options for him to choose from.  He kept on harping the same old refrain ... wondering about the if's and the buts. The thoughts kept on pouring in ... rendering the person paralyzed and frozen with INACTION (meaning the guy turned icicle ... he can't move and does not do anything to help himself).

When the person reaches the plateau where he is disabled and powerless ... and is unable to make decisions ...  and can't think of any antidotal measures and plans of action to remedy his situation, that is the worst OVERTHINKING can do to the person. 

Overthinking is still within normal parameters at the start. But chronic overthinking making the person lose his appetite, and affects his sleep patterns, family ties, health, and relationship ... these are red flags wanting immediate attention. 

Overthinking (or rumination) becomes a full-blown problem when it totally disrupts your functioning.  Under s stressful situation ... it is normal that the person will spring into action to survive. Being "unable to move" or the feeling that you were stuck and felt immobilized are tell-tale signs that rumination has tied both of your hands including your ability to decide on what to do.

Overthinking is a defense mechanism ... it makes the person believe he is under control ... and rumination makes them feel good inside that something is being done ... thereby reducing his anxiety. But sometimes overthinking gets out of hand ... and if the person got his mind blank and foggy, his hands tied and got glued "in the stuck mode" ... then taking action is next to impossibility.

The Readers Are Asking

Overthinking makes this forum alive again ... obviously, the readers can relate to the topic. Here are some of their questions.

1. What makes the person overthink and over-analyze? 

Are you the type of person who is always waiting for disaster to strike ... or are you one who is not seeing anything positive about anybody or the world? Or are you the one that equates happiness with money ... or are you the type who is excessively concerned about health?

The cause why a person ruminates is being "fearful of failures", financial uncertainty, intolerance to imperfection, negativities ... and refusal to accept any standard short of perfection ... be it religious, moral, or spiritual.

2. Is overthinking a mental illness?

It is not a diagnosis per se ... and is not a recognized mental health condition ... but it is a symptom of some serious mental and psychological disorders like depression, and anxiety or OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder).

3. What stage of psychosexual development is deficient with overthinking and excessive rumination?

Overthinking is an ANAL trait. As the child struggled in his toilet training stage and wrestled with a perfectionist and over-zealous parents ... when he becomes an adult ... the child will have carry-over behavior of being meticulous and thorough ... leading to over-analyzing - a painful process of making everything RIGHT.

4. What do overthinkers worry about?

They worry about everything ... sitting in one corner and dwell on his thoughts is some hobby of some sort. To them, the simple becomes a complex problem. The usual theme of what bugs them is worrying about the past and the mistakes he made several years back ... where the person replays the situation and mulls over what he can do better. He can't move on. Worrying about the past becomes obligatory - as the person believes thinking about what happened in the past is their way of atonement of their sins ... an act of reparation for bad things done. 

They also think about the future. If he has a crystal ball he wants an assurance that his future is bright and happy. Their habits are sickening as they constantly worry about what may or may not happen in the next years to come. To sum it all, his concerns boil down to one thing - MONEY and financial security.

5. How can I stop overthinking?

There is no foolproof or surefire formula to solve this problem. It is not even infallible - a one size fits all secret of success. Overthinking will not stop right away ... but we can always break the cycle. 

Keep yourself active when you feel you are in the "mood" again to indulge in your favorite pastime. You can feel and smell the air when "the mood" is coming ... so before it strikes ... you are already on your way to jog ... or do exercise.

Another way is ... be a man enough ... not to believe everything your mind tells you to do. You are stronger than you thought you are. You are not submissive ... or a Yes man ... and you have complete control of everything.  Step back ... face the problem squarely ... and see them objectively.

Definition

a. Overthinking is when you can't run straight ... it becomes a destructive trait when the only available solution is to go off the road.

b. Overthinking is when you repeatedly mull over and be preoccupied with the same issues that kept on popping out despite the individual's effort to repress them.

c. Overthinking is when you linger over, and brood about the same obsessed thoughts ... making it your favorite subject of the day.

d. Overthinking is when you dwell over and muse on the same old tired concerns and matters in question that make you be paralyzed by worries resulting in an inability to make decisions or plans of action.

When Over-Thinking Is Normal

In life, there are several crossroads that we will cross ... and it is at these points where crucial decisions have to be made that will have far-reaching consequences and repercussions affecting the person ... as well as the people around him. This is the kind of OVER-THINKING that we need and is considered normal.

It is very essential that the person is one step ahead and recognizes the gravity and the influence of his decision. He should also understand that it is at this point that when he made the decisive and pivotal decision ... there is no turning back ... no if and no but's.  The current course of events can't be reversed or undone. He should have also thought of the monetary cost (the social cost, the loss, and damages) ... and if he ever backs out ... it will affect not only himself but the whole family one way or another.

Examples of these life's crossroads are: getting married, separated, or divorced, staying away from school, choosing between family and barkadas, moving to another country for good, having a child or not, ending a relationship (romantic or family), domestic problems that divide the family ... even choosing a profession and a vocation. Can you imagine what life-changing it would be if you decided to become a priest, a doctor, and a lawyer. And there's more - how about switching professions?

It is reasonable and good judgment if one understands that all the above scenarios are major and they are life-changing - so much so that the person making the decision should think long and hard enough.  The situation warrants a thoughtful and thorough examination ... this is not a joke ... let me make that clear to you.

On the other side of the fence, if a friend is inviting you to test drugs or alcohol for the first time, the person being invited should be intelligent enough to know the situation he is planning to embark on. Everybody knows how harmful the effects of drugs and alcohol are ... and how it affects the brain. The brain regulates your body's basic functions and enables you to interpret and respond to everything you experience ... and it shapes your behavior. In short, your brain is you ... everything you feel and think.

Testing drugs for the first time is different than being hooked. You can always stop after you first tasted it. And allowing yourself to be ruined and doomed for the rest of your life, did you ever lift a finger giving OVERTHINKING a chance? You overthink a lot about what you will wear ... and what perfume you will whiff the next day to impress everybody ... and you fall short of being an inutile when you never give a damn to give some deep introspection on some alien drugs you gulped and guzzled? Making drugs the focal point of your life is life-changing ... you should have at least done something. For your life's and future sake.

A part and parcel of drug addiction are some nefarious activities associated with it like stealing, trespassing on others' homes and properties, selling all that you have, and slandering or badmouthing others, blackmailing ... just know that these are criminal activities and it is just a matter of time before somebody gives you a taste of your medicine.

See what drugs can do? It gives you the courage to think that what you are doing is right.  It has clouded your senses and your better judgment.

Again this is the crucial time ... think of the disaster and the emotional rollercoaster that you invited into your life forever ... one false move and you're done!