In the grand, never-ending circus of Philippine politics, we are witnessing a trick so audacious it would make a Vegas magician weep.
The rumor mill is churning with speculation that Senator Chiz Escudero might preside over the impeachment trial of VP Sara Duterte.
How did we get here?
How did a man who was practically a footnote in the last administration suddenly crawl back into the driver’s seat, right under the noses of seasoned veterans like Zubiri, Sotto, and Lacson?
It seems the Filipino public is about to get another nightmare in the "Forthwith Doctrine"—the art of sounding so intellectual that everyone forgets the mess it created last time.
While Migz Zubiri was busy being "gentlemanly," Tito Sotto was busy rendering technical opinions, and Ping Lacson was busy being the nation’s stern principal, Chiz Escudero was doing what Chiz does best: Existing in a state of perfectly manicured neutrality.
[ THE ESCUDERO RECOVERY PROTOCOL ]
1. Silence: Disappear when the heat is too high.
2. Vocabulary: Re-emerge using words like "Prerogative," "Constituency," and "Forthwith."
3. Positioning: Wait for the giants to trip over their own dignity.
4. The Prize: Wake up one morning as Senate President just as the biggest trial of the decade starts.
He didn't just "crawl" back; he glided. While the other "Titans" were fighting the front-line battles, Chiz was in the back room perfecting his baritone and ensuring his barong was impeccably pressed for the cameras.
The term "FORTHWITH" should trigger a collective Pavlovian response in the Filipino psyche.
It reminds us of a time when legal jargon was used as a shiny distraction while the political gears shifted behind the scenes.
Have we learned nothing? We are like a romantic lead in a movie who keeps going back to the charming ex-boyfriend because he "speaks so well" and "looks so smart in a suit," completely ignoring the fact that he manipulated us the last time we were together.
The most delicious part of the satire is the lingering suspicion: Is this another genius scheme by the "High Priestess of Davao"?
In this political fan-fiction, Chiz isn't just a lucky survivor; he's the chosen "neutral" arbiter who just happens to be acceptable to the powers that be.
To trust Chiz to preside over a Duterte trial is like asking a professional diplomat to referee a boxing match where his best friend is one of the fighters—he’ll call the fouls in such beautiful, poetic English that you won't even realize he's not counting the knockouts.
-The Reality Check: If Chiz Escudero presides over this trial, expect the highest ratings in television history and the lowest clarity in legal history.
We will be treated to hours of flawless syntax, references to the 1987 Constitutional archives, and a verdict that will somehow leave everyone both confused and impressed by his vocabulary.
How did he pull this number? By banking on the one thing that never fails in Philippine politics: The Short-Term Memory of the Electorate.
Right under the nose of Sotto (the veteran), Zubiri (the nice guy), and Lacson (the enforcer), Chiz has managed to position himself as the "Safe Choice."
He is the political equivalent of a "Update Later" button on your computer—you know you should probably deal with the system's issues, but it's just easier to let the smooth interface keep running.
If you find yourself nodding along to a Chiz Escudero speech during an impeachment trial, check your pockets.
He hasn't changed; we just forgot to bring our "Forthwith" translators.
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