Questions About Entitlement

Remember the last time we posted notes about entitlement and entitled people? More reactions surfaced, and some of these inquiries we felt were important and had valid points. We can't just ignore it and lay it to rest.  It would be a big disservice if those important questions fell on deaf ears. Here is one of them.

Question: You said entitled people are narcissistic and the "me" in them makes self-importance be fed and watered. How do you discuss things with a person with entitlement issues?

Answer: They always try to win an argument because they believe they are always right.

They get offended, when somebody has a differing opinion ... or an opposing position. Some of them may tell you you are a bad person for not agreeing with them. So the next time there will be a discussion at hand, they will disagree and argue with you ... just for the sake of disagreeing or arguing. If there is another person with the same entitlement mentality, they will tag-team or roast you in tandem. At times they will go out of bounds when they sense they are losing the argument ... they start getting personal with you and may call you names.

Keep in mind that when you are in a disagreement - remind them to keep it to the “topic” and not to make it about you personally ... or make personal attacks. It helps keep the conversation focused, and it also helps to preserve the discussion as the problem your group has surely needs solutions ... after a thorough debate.

How do I win an argument with an entitled person who will never admit that he is wrong? Or better still how does an entitled person lose?

I tell you ... don't you ever go that road? Do you think it is worth your time and your energy? Ignore the possibility of having a debate with them. As we said at the start ... they are there to WIN ... come hell or high water ... so what the heck?

Entitled people are hard to deal with. Entitled people have high expectations and if their anticipation that their idea will reign supreme at the end of the discussion ... if it goes the other way ... it can deflate their self-balloons leading to disappointment and psychological distress. Entitled individuals' perceptions of another person voicing out a different opinion make them believe they are being treated unfairly. And having difficulty maintaining positive relationships with other people ... his losing the debate is a preview of more bad behaviors waiting in the wings.

No Gratitude ... No Apologies

 

Question: Why is it hard for entitled people to say "Thank You. " And why can't they apologize?

Answer: A person with a heightened entitlement attitude does not include in their vocabulary the words Thank you and I am sorry. They are too drunk and high that all the free stuff given to them ... doesn't have value ... in their estimate... and they are not grateful because they feel they are entitled to receive it no matter what. Who says thank you for something that is free ... And who says thank you for services rendered ... when it is rightfully theirs in the first place?

They don't appreciate the little things you gave them - money, possessions, services because they believe it is their right to have everything. Para silang mga hari at reyna na pinagsilbihan ... kung pwede na lang pati paliligo nila gagawin mo pa.While everybody wakes up early in the morning to go to work ... you see them waking up late ... bukod silang pinagpala.

Entitled individuals are basically selfish through and through. So what the hell ... that you are expecting them to be grateful when you know in your heart they are selfish?  And are you kidding me when you expect them to say "I am sorry" when they don't have remorse or guilt? 

Find me a selfish person who lavishly communicates gratitude or "utang na loob" when you give something to them. Find me a selfish person who apologizes and asks for forgiveness when they did something awful. What I know is that selfish people keep their Thank You and I'm sorry to themselves because they have enough of the good stuff and they want more coming. What happens if they say Thank You and the respondent says: "You're not welcome!" And what happens when they say" I apologize ... and the answer is "Apology not accepted." Being grateful and apologetic is antithetical to their being self-important.  See what I mean?

Entitled individuals do not show gratitude because of their excessive sense of self-importance.  Hari ka na nga ... magpapasalamat ka pa? Di ba parang ibinaba mo pa ang sarili mo? May korona ka na ... magso-sorry ka pa? Hindi bagay!

Other reasons why it is hard for entitled people to show appreciation and remorse are arrogance, vanity, and their unquenchable thirst for admiration and approval. Self-entitled people pooh-poohed the idea of open & honest communication and relationship of reciprocity. The kind of relationship they want is take and take and never give. They anticipate you will give them "special favors" for free ... and they forget to remember ... to return the favor ... and to pay back. 

So in retrospect ... what is the psychology of lack of gratitude or lack of remorse? 

A study made by one university in America showed ungrateful people are more dependent and less autonomous than those who easily show gratitude or remorse.  One thing is consistent ... they can't survive on their own. They are also the very same people who can't face the harsh reality and have problems with self-acceptance that they need others to make them safe and secure.