Option A or Option B?

 

In his gentle reflection, Fr. Jowel delivers a radical, almost revolutionary pastoral advice for the modern world: If someone makes a mistake, talk to them privately and lovingly instead of broadcasting their flaws to the entire neighborhood.

It is a timeless, beautiful Christian virtue. It is also an absolute, catastrophic threat to the national pastime of the Philippines: The Holy Order of Marites Governance.

[ THE GOSPEL & FR. JOWEL'S METHOD ] 

• Step 1: Approach the person privately. 

 [ THE STANDARD TSISMIS PROCEDURE ]

 • Step 1: Create a separate Messenger group chat.

[ THE GOSPEL & FR. JOWEL'S METHOD ] 

• Step 2: Speak with humility and love. 

 [ THE STANDARD TSISMIS PROCEDURE ]

• Step 2: "Pray" for their downfall under the guise of a prayer request

[ THE GOSPEL & FR. JOWEL'S METHOD ] 

• Step 3: Help them fix the mistake.  

 [ THE STANDARD TSISMIS PROCEDURE ]

• Step 3: Screenshot and broadcast to the barangay.

[ THE GOSPEL & FR. JOWEL'S METHOD ] 

• Result: Restored dignity and healed relationships. 

 [ THE STANDARD TSISMIS PROCEDURE ]

• Result: Maximum public humiliation.

Fr. Jowel reminds us that we are called to correct others with humility, gentleness, and privacy. But why settle for a quiet, one-on-one conversation when you can turn someone’s moral failing into a high-production-value community drama?

In church communities, office pantries, and family Viber groups, people treat direct confrontation like an extreme sport. We don't pull someone aside; we file a "concern."

THE HOLY GOSSIP DICTIONARY   

 WHAT WE SHOULD SAY:  

• "Kapatid, I noticed a mistake. Let's fix it." 

WHAT WE ACTUALLY SAY: 

• "Ipagsamba natin si Karen, napakalaki ng kasalanan niya... (proceeds to detail the exact amounts).

 [ THE HUMAN ERROR REACTION FLOWCHART ]

  YOU NOTICE SOMEONE BUMBLE OR MAKE A MISTAKE

                     │

                     ▼

  OPTION A (Fr. Jowel's Path):

  Take them aside -> Talk quietly -> Help them heal -> Zero likes on Facebook.

                     │

                     ▼

  OPTION B (The Tsismis Path):

  Tell Tita Baby -> Screenshots -> "Grabe siya, 'di ba?" -> Instant viral sensation!

Crucifying someone in absentia lets us feel morally superior without doing the hard work it takes to be a decent human being. The moment we expose someone else's flaws, our own messy closets suddenly look impeccably clean by comparison.

When a simple correction is inflated into a public spectacle, it ceases to be about justice or guidance. It becomes pure humiliation.

THE DESTRUCTIVE TSISMIS CYCLE                        

 1. A minor mistake occurs.                                             

 2. Instead of a private conversation, it is broadcast to the group.     

 3. The mistake becomes public shame.                                   

 4. The offender becomes defensive instead of remorseful.               

 5. Relationships collapse, but the gossipers feel holy.

Fr. Jowel reminds us of a fundamental truth that we conveniently forget the moment we open our mouths: Every single one of us needs grace, mercy, and a second chance.

If every mistake you ever made in private were suddenly turned into a slide presentation for your neighbors, you wouldn't be standing on a moral high ground—you'd be looking for an exit strategy.

Correction without love is not ministry; it is harassment.

Before we hit "send" on that screenshot, drop that "prayer request" in the chat, or whisper 

"Alam mo ba si...?" to the co-worker sitting next to us. 

Fr. Jowel offers three simple diagnostic filters:

Is it helpful?

Is it private?

Is it coming from a place of love, or a desire to feel superior?

If you can't talk to the person directly to help them heal, then your silence is the most Christian thing you can offer. 

True care doesn't put you on a public trial; it quietly hands you a ladder so you can climb out of the hole you just dug.