Fixation at Phallic Stage

According to Freud, and his psychoanalytic theory, the third stage of psychosexual development which is the phallic stage begins around age 3 to 5 years old, when the libido is focused on the genital area (penis or clitoris) and discovery and manipulation of the body become a major source of pleasure. When children become aware of their bodies, the bodies of other children, and the bodies of their parents, they gratify physical curiosity by undressing and exploring each other and their genitals, the center of the phallic stage. During the phallic phase, children touch their own genitals and conflict arises when parents don't know how to react to what they are seeing.

Psychosexual development is the first psychological theory that explains how one's personality develops based on the child's psychosexual development from the time he was born. According to Freud, each individual will go through several psychosexual phases in his/her life, and these phases will affect his/her character and personality when they become an adult.

1. The Phallic Stage - The phallic stage covers the period of human development from 3 to 5 years old. In this stage, the child gets most of their PLEASURE from touching their penis or clitoris which is their erogenous zone. During this stage, children become aware of sex differences, which sets the conflict between erotic, attraction, resentment, rivalry, and fear.

As the child becomes more interested in their genitals and in the genitals of others, conflict arises.  The conflict, labeled the Oedipus complex (The Electra complex in women), involves the child's unconscious desire to possess the opposite-sexed parent and to eliminate the same-sexed parent. The boy focuses his libido (sexual desire) upon his mother and focuses jealousy and emotional rivalry against his father — because it is he who sleeps with the mother. Notice how in this stage girls compete with the attention of their Dads and boys are more attached to their moms.

A. Phallic Stage task -  The phallic stage of development is primarily focused on identifying with the same-sex parent. Freud suggested that fixations at this point could lead to adult personalities that are overly vain, exhibitionistic, and sexually aggressive. According to Freud, during the phallic stage, the child develops an attraction to a parent of a different sex which is called the OEDIPUS COMPLEX for boys and the ELECTRA COMPLEX for girls.

In the phallic stage, children begin to realize their own genders.  They know themselves either as a man or a woman from their own vision of the genitals as well as from the sex education taught by the parents about gender. Parents should not need to worry if, in this phase, children touch their private because their behavior is based on curiosity and children want to know more about their bodies. If you think there is sexual desire coloring, you are wrong, because children ages 3-5, their sexual desire is definitely not formed and established.

B. Phallic Stage Erogenous zone - The penis and the clitoris

C. Fixation at the Phallic Stage - Talking about the Oedipal and Electra complex ... the small boy or girl develop some attraction to the parent of the opposite sex. Experts believed the small devil resents his Dad's presence and feels hostile & jealous towards his arch nemesis (his father) and tries to compete with him. 

In this stage also ...  is the development of a castration complex where the boy feels fear that the father as retaliation will cut his penis off as a result of this household love triangle. Adding more salt to the wound he dreads when he is being teased and reprimanded "If I will see you doing that ... I will cut that off ..." when he was caught touching his privates. 

This CASTRATION ANXIETY silenced his yearning for Mama, so he quashed the desire.  The boy later realized there is no possibility he can't have Mom to himself because his father already has her... and if he can't have her to himself ...  he can possess her indirectly ... or by proxy ... by becoming like his father in thoughts, in words, and in deeds. Using the defense mechanism of identification, the process of incorporating, following, or mimicking what his father does ... instills and imbues in the boy what kind of role he is going to have later as an adult. 

As a counterpart ... in Electra Complex, the girl realized that she, along with her mother doesn't have the penis which her father possesses. Her desire for her DAD becomes erotic and envious, and she wanted to have a penis of her own. Conflict in this stage for girls happens when she starts citing her MOM for her imagined castration (cutting ties with her Dad). This results in PENIS ENVY the exact spitting image of the boy's castration anxiety. Just as the boy learned his sexual role by identifying with his father, the girl learns her role by identifying with her mother in an attempt to possess her father vicariously ... imagined or otherwise.

Have you noticed by the way, how boys behave so soft and limp when he is identified with their mom at this age ... and girls act boyish at the young age of three? Fixation occurs when Dad failed his duty to become a role model to his son. The son in turn is stuck in this stage and later will become an adult as soft as a marshmallow.  The same dynamics can be said for girls who became the men of the house ... instead of being "ilaw ng tahanan."

D. Carry-over behaviors in the phallic stage.

When parents impose restrictions on whether the child can touch their privates ... the child meets his third conflict with the authority ... his parents. 

Fixation can happen in the phallic stage and will have some residue as carry-over behavior when the child becomes an adult.  In the phallic stage, the resolution of the Oedipus and Electra complex is for the children to identify with parents of the same sex. The child incorporates, to his or her ego, the personality characteristics of the same-sex parent; If the boy identifies with the mother and conversely when the girl identifies with her Dad expect a girl to be masculinely inclined - plays basketball and other contact sports, joins the police force, or somebody who is in constant search for the approval of the father figure. And the boy incorporates and imbibes what he sees in his mom, and enjoys feminine stuff like ballet, fashion, and makeup as his Mom does.

What happens when the girl has penis envy? Penis envy makes a dramatic shift to a girl who is supposed to be identified with her mom but instead withdraws from the task and resents her. During this stage, a female child is pushing away her mother and becomes jealous of and displays possessive affection toward her father. Lack of resolution of penis envy may result in somebody who will continue to seek father figures in their future relationships,  

What happens when a boy has a castration complex? Castration is fear of being "cut off". When one is fixated on this ... any form of castration in his adult life (like terminating a relationship, economic reversal, losing one's job, etc) will have a destructive effect on the person. Imagine if one is having SEPARATION ANXIETY let's say a wife who is on the next flight to America to work. I have seen her husband unabashedly burst into tears delivering a painful soliloquy at Manila International Airport. We later knew he has been crying for months and has not recovered from extreme sadness.  Sad.

Other traits believed by experts that characterize those stuck in the phallic stage are self-centeredness, low sense of self-worth, and shyness. Also, women who are flirtatious, have promiscuous behavior and relationships with older men.

You may ask why she becomes flirtatious and why with older men? Being trapped in an infantile love triangle where she competes with her mom ... it is not surprising that she can rehash the same amorous competition with anybody in her adult life.  And older men? Because she is looking for the qualities of her father in older men ... and finds herself in a situation ... where changing relationships become too ordinary as changing her clothes.

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Pageant Result: Miss Uniworld 2023

The winners of Miss Uniworld 2023 from left to right: Anastasija Aleksejevska - Latvia - First Runner Up, Karla Majam - Philippines - Miss Uniworld 2023 - Winner, and  Makuna Amasshukeli - Georgia - Second Runner Up. The pageant was held in JW Marriot Hotel in Kuala Lumpur last June 11, 2023.

Fixation at The Anal Stage

According to Sigmund Freud, there are five psychosexual stages: the oral, the anal, the phallic, the latent, and the genital.  During each stage, sexual energy (libido) is expressed in different ways and through different body parts. The erogenous zones associated with each stage serve as a source of PLEASURE. Being unsatisfied or over-satisfied at any particular stage can result in FIXATION. On the other hand, being satisfied can result in a healthy personality.

1. The Anal Stage - The anal stage covers the period of human development from one to 3 years old. In this stage, the child gets most of their PLEASURE from their ANUS which is their erogenous zone at this stage. The child derives great pleasure when defecating and his bowel/bladder control. Around this age, the child begins to toilet train. Same way as the oral stage Freud believed an infant can develop anal fixation if their anal needs were not met and gratified ... or conversely when they are overly satisfied. 

Freudian psychology maintains that infants gain pleasure either from eliminating or "holding" their feces. The development of an anal personality in a person is resultant of his satisfaction with the toilet training he underwent ... or his frustrations when the training is punitive, harsh, and strict.

 A. Anal Stage task -  The toddler's main concern in this stage is the processes of elimination. The anus is an all-absorbing organ of pleasure. The child takes pleasure in controlling and releasing their bowels. So when potty training is introduced in this stage ... everything depends on how parents interact with the child while being potty trained. If the parent praises the child and gives them rewards after doing the job it will help. But when they started to become harsh and ridicule them ... and punish them because they made some bathroom mess and accidents ... then the child will rebel.

The anal stage is the period when the conscience develops in a child. If the mom says "Time to potty train" the id whispers NO to the child while the conscience (superego) says: Follow your mom. The ego (self) decides what he will do.  So potty training or NOT potty training ... that is the question.

B. Anal Stage Erogenous zone - The anus

C. Fixation at the Anal Stage - The infant's anal experience is in the hands of their mother or the mother's surrogate ... and if it is faulty ... like the toilet training was done too early or pre-maturely (may be done in the oral stage of development when the child is not ready for this task) ... or the training was too punitive or strict ... or the training is so remiss, lenient and complaisant ... then expect a child with an anal personality.  In the same way, if the child was left alone to fend for himself or the toilet training was done in the later stage of life (possibly in the phallic stage), don't be surprised... the child whether you like it or not ... will exhibit the anal type of personality when he becomes an adult.

D. Carry-over behaviors in the anal stage.

When parents impose restrictions on WHEN and WHERE the child can defecate ... the child meets his second conflict with the authority ... his parents.  This is where rebellion starts to show its ugly fangs. His experience with authority figures (his mother or the surrogate) will determine the child’s reaction to parental restrictions and control later on ... or his future relationship with all forms of authority ... or the LAW, as an adult.

Indeed the beauty of this post is it lay out the factors that are believed to play a pivotal role in causing it. Unresolved conflicts or issues during the anal stage can lead to problems in adulthood, such as uncontrollable temper, inability to decide, excessive cleanliness, compulsive counting, persistent checking, or a need for control of his emotions such as anger, sexual desires, or libido.

Early or harsh potty training can lead to the child becoming an ANAL-RETENTIVE personality who is overly orderly, strict, meticulous, cautious, and thorough.  You will be walking on eggshells once you live with one of them. They can't stand chaos and mayhem in their house .. they are squeaky clean, rigid & methodical, obsessively tidy, prompt and arrives on time, and obedient and respectful of authority or the laws of the land.  They can be frugal and economical with money and food. 

Further traits and behaviors include being stubborn, rigid, and stingy with money and/or time. Other adjectives used to describe this personality were perfectionistic, detail-oriented, overly self-reliant, and having a passion for organizing, classifying, or collecting objects.

A person with an anal personality will also have an obsessive attention to specifics (even very particular to facets, features, and attributes ... even to unimportant details) to the chagrin of the people around him. Their behavior goes beyond being helpful. For instance, a person with an anal personality might do thorough and exhaustive research on a brand of cell phone before he opens his wallet and buys it. 

The fixation mentioned above is all related to the pleasure of holding on to their feces when toddlers and their moms are on a tug of war with their potty training regimen and the mom insisted the child has to sit on the potty for hours until the elimination process is achieved and consummated!

So why do people COLLECT stamps or girlfriends? Why do people HOARD and collect items that ordinary people find idiotic? Easy ... they are just being anal ... plain and simple. When the child resists bowel training ... he in fact is HOLDING his feces ... which is synonymous with COLLECTING feces. See the correlation? Why are some people "kuripot" or stingy and close-fisted when talking about money? It is all because they want to save and COLLECT.

And why do anal personalities have problems deciding for themselves? Why are they in the habit of asking for a second opinion? It can be traced down to his anal stage ... since the mother decides for him ... whether to potty train or not. It was not all his decision.

Silly as it sounds ...  the ANAL EXPULSIVE, on the other hand, endured a tolerant and permissive toilet-training regime during the anal stage. Toilet training was not done at all ... or the mom is remiss with the training schedule ... or the attitude of the mother surrogate is: "If he did it ... we will clean him ... if he did not ... we will wait until it's done." If the child's parents were inconsistent or neglectful in teaching the child to control their own bowel movements, the child may relieve themselves at inappropriate times and soil their pants in rebellion against using the toilet. 

In adulthood, the anal expulsive is the person who wants to share things with you.  They like giving things away.  In essence, they are “sharing their s**t” with you!” 

They will give you problems and they gladly share them with you ... as if you were the one that started it. They will share with you the burden of paying the money they loaned and borrowed ... and give you more responsibilities in his family as he watched in the sideline. 

An anal-expulsive personality is also messy - where as a child he messed up his training schedule by eliminating his stool only when he wants it ... or when he can not hold onto his stool "he make kalat" and play with his stool or scatter them around. As an adult, he mess up his life big time (see the parallelism?) ... and screwed them up too badly that he feels overwhelmed. 

So what is the significance ... when the child habitually eliminates only when he wants it ... or not according to his toilet schedule ... or as planned?  As a child, he has no control over his anal muscle ... so he unintentionally makes accidents and lets it hang all out at the expense of being humiliated. How many times have you seen a child ... kaharap mo at naglalaro kayo, pero tumatae na pala and before you knew it ... late na bago siya pumunta sa bathroom? If the situation is repeated countless times ... it is not a surprise if he will have problems with self-control (anger, sexual urges, libidinal desires, etc)

Fast-forward to adulthood ... why is ... an uncontrolled temper or anger a carry-over anal behavior?  Easy. He could not CONTROL his temper because he has a defective bladder CONTROL training when he was young and he is used to doing stuff randomly in the anal stage.  No amount of reason can appease the man ... not even reminding him "the neighbors are listening" as he continued his verbal rampage.

And lastly, this is just a piece of advice: the parents have to be patient in the process, especially during the first time teaching the children to defecate using the potty. Children who are TRAINED SLOWLY will possess a PATIENT personality and not get angry easily or rebellious when they become adults.

Abraham's Humor

How time flies ...  as a child you only need simple things like a kiddie meal. And that's enough to make your day.

Getting older ... you realized your needs ... the simple becomes complicated ... and the complicated ... becoming more expensive.