Fixation at Phallic Stage

According to Freud, and his psychoanalytic theory, the third stage of psychosexual development which is the phallic stage begins around age 3 to 5 years old, when the libido is focused on the genital area (penis or clitoris) and discovery and manipulation of the body become a major source of pleasure. When children become aware of their bodies, the bodies of other children, and the bodies of their parents, they gratify physical curiosity by undressing and exploring each other and their genitals, the center of the phallic stage. During the phallic phase, children touch their own genitals and conflict arises when parents don't know how to react to what they are seeing.

Psychosexual development is the first psychological theory that explains how one's personality develops based on the child's psychosexual development from the time he was born. According to Freud, each individual will go through several psychosexual phases in his/her life, and these phases will affect his/her character and personality when they become an adult.

1. The Phallic Stage - The phallic stage covers the period of human development from 3 to 5 years old. In this stage, the child gets most of their PLEASURE from touching their penis or clitoris which is their erogenous zone. During this stage, children become aware of sex differences, which sets the conflict between erotic, attraction, resentment, rivalry, and fear.

As the child becomes more interested in their genitals and in the genitals of others, conflict arises.  The conflict, labeled the Oedipus complex (The Electra complex in women), involves the child's unconscious desire to possess the opposite-sexed parent and to eliminate the same-sexed parent. The boy focuses his libido (sexual desire) upon his mother and focuses jealousy and emotional rivalry against his father — because it is he who sleeps with the mother. Notice how in this stage girls compete with the attention of their Dads and boys are more attached to their moms.

A. Phallic Stage task -  The phallic stage of development is primarily focused on identifying with the same-sex parent. Freud suggested that fixations at this point could lead to adult personalities that are overly vain, exhibitionistic, and sexually aggressive. According to Freud, during the phallic stage, the child develops an attraction to a parent of a different sex which is called the OEDIPUS COMPLEX for boys and the ELECTRA COMPLEX for girls.

In the phallic stage, children begin to realize their own genders.  They know themselves either as a man or a woman from their own vision of the genitals as well as from the sex education taught by the parents about gender. Parents should not need to worry if, in this phase, children touch their private because their behavior is based on curiosity and children want to know more about their bodies. If you think there is sexual desire coloring, you are wrong, because children ages 3-5, their sexual desire is definitely not formed and established.

B. Phallic Stage Erogenous zone - The penis and the clitoris

C. Fixation at the Phallic Stage - Talking about the Oedipal and Electra complex ... the small boy or girl develop some attraction to the parent of the opposite sex. Experts believed the small devil resents his Dad's presence and feels hostile & jealous towards his arch nemesis (his father) and tries to compete with him. 

In this stage also ...  is the development of a castration complex where the boy feels fear that the father as retaliation will cut his penis off as a result of this household love triangle. Adding more salt to the wound he dreads when he is being teased and reprimanded "If I will see you doing that ... I will cut that off ..." when he was caught touching his privates. 

This CASTRATION ANXIETY silenced his yearning for Mama, so he quashed the desire.  The boy later realized there is no possibility he can't have Mom to himself because his father already has her... and if he can't have her to himself ...  he can possess her indirectly ... or by proxy ... by becoming like his father in thoughts, in words, and in deeds. Using the defense mechanism of identification, the process of incorporating, following, or mimicking what his father does ... instills and imbues in the boy what kind of role he is going to have later as an adult. 

As a counterpart ... in Electra Complex, the girl realized that she, along with her mother doesn't have the penis which her father possesses. Her desire for her DAD becomes erotic and envious, and she wanted to have a penis of her own. Conflict in this stage for girls happens when she starts citing her MOM for her imagined castration (cutting ties with her Dad). This results in PENIS ENVY the exact spitting image of the boy's castration anxiety. Just as the boy learned his sexual role by identifying with his father, the girl learns her role by identifying with her mother in an attempt to possess her father vicariously ... imagined or otherwise.

Have you noticed by the way, how boys behave so soft and limp when he is identified with their mom at this age ... and girls act boyish at the young age of three? Fixation occurs when Dad failed his duty to become a role model to his son. The son in turn is stuck in this stage and later will become an adult as soft as a marshmallow.  The same dynamics can be said for girls who became the men of the house ... instead of being "ilaw ng tahanan."

D. Carry-over behaviors in the phallic stage.

When parents impose restrictions on whether the child can touch their privates ... the child meets his third conflict with the authority ... his parents. 

Fixation can happen in the phallic stage and will have some residue as carry-over behavior when the child becomes an adult.  In the phallic stage, the resolution of the Oedipus and Electra complex is for the children to identify with parents of the same sex. The child incorporates, to his or her ego, the personality characteristics of the same-sex parent; If the boy identifies with the mother and conversely when the girl identifies with her Dad expect a girl to be masculinely inclined - plays basketball and other contact sports, joins the police force, or somebody who is in constant search for the approval of the father figure. And the boy incorporates and imbibes what he sees in his mom, and enjoys feminine stuff like ballet, fashion, and makeup as his Mom does.

What happens when the girl has penis envy? Penis envy makes a dramatic shift to a girl who is supposed to be identified with her mom but instead withdraws from the task and resents her. During this stage, a female child is pushing away her mother and becomes jealous of and displays possessive affection toward her father. Lack of resolution of penis envy may result in somebody who will continue to seek father figures in their future relationships,  

What happens when a boy has a castration complex? Castration is fear of being "cut off". When one is fixated on this ... any form of castration in his adult life (like terminating a relationship, economic reversal, losing one's job, etc) will have a destructive effect on the person. Imagine if one is having SEPARATION ANXIETY let's say a wife who is on the next flight to America to work. I have seen her husband unabashedly burst into tears delivering a painful soliloquy at Manila International Airport. We later knew he has been crying for months and has not recovered from extreme sadness.  Sad.

Other traits believed by experts that characterize those stuck in the phallic stage are self-centeredness, low sense of self-worth, and shyness. Also, women who are flirtatious, have promiscuous behavior and relationships with older men.

You may ask why she becomes flirtatious and why with older men? Being trapped in an infantile love triangle where she competes with her mom ... it is not surprising that she can rehash the same amorous competition with anybody in her adult life.  And older men? Because she is looking for the qualities of her father in older men ... and finds herself in a situation ... where changing relationships become too ordinary as changing her clothes.