Responding To Netizen's Comment

Netizen's Comment:  Your post about "why I feel the need to be responsible for others" is an eye-opener. Is it a mental illness ... and what is it called? And why does the person behave the way they do and how can it be resolved?

Response: I have a friend in the US who feels this way ... that she feels responsible for all family members - and that includes their finances and sending brothers and cousins to school for their education.

Psychologists have coined a term for that and they call it hyper-responsibility syndrome - a burned-out feeling where one feels exhausted and drained accepting mountains of obligations and responsibilities more than she can handle. They are hallmark signs of a person who has OCD or obsessive-compulsive behavior.

If you remember our discussion a month ago about psycho-sexual development, OCD has a defective anal stage either he was forced to have early bowel training ... or he was left alone on his own. Carryover behavior of the anal stage in adults includes intrusive thoughts usually triggered by stress or anxiety or guilt. 

Why has this woman accepted more responsibilities than she can handle ... it is all because she doesn't like anything harmful that will result from her not accepting the job laid to her ... or she has fears of making mistakes that will cause long-term effects or something bad might happen just in case she opted to ignore the obligations presented to her. 

Guilt generally provokes emotional distress ... and at times even if she has realized she already has enough on her plate ... to get rid of these pesky and unwanted thoughts one is forced to accept more work ... even though she felt it is too much for her.

Overthinking sometimes makes it worse ... as the person indulges much in repetitive worrying ... at times she makes hasty decisions like "sigi na nga ... aakoin ko na ang obligasyon" just to avoid these nagging thoughts. 

How do you relieve these intrusive thoughts? Intrusive thoughts don't typically go away on their own and you may experience them often and persistently, particularly if you don't receive OCD treatment. Other helpful tips include distractions like making a hobby or exercising or jogging ... it may help you deal with meddlesome thoughts and corresponding compulsions.

OCD- Obsessive Compulsive Behavior

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is considered a scare tactic ... a strategy intended to frighten a person arousing fear and alarm. OCD sends a series of gruesome images as fear factors to the person ... compelling him to act right away that something has to be done pronto. OCD shares information only to the person ... things that are important and relevant to him.

Going to the example of broken glass in my post yesterday, if the situation is not of value to the person, or it is not relevant to him ... the network of fear-mongering pathways in his mind does not send any warning signals ... hence no intrusive thoughts were present.

But if the intrusive thought comes because the person has experienced stepping on broken glass before ... all alarms were lit to inform the person to pick up the shard or remove the fragmented glass ora mismo. The person's immediate response is to go back and check for broken fragments lest if somebody accidentally stepped on it "IT WILL BE HIS FAULT."

In the same way ....if you have experience leaving the front door open overnight while you are on a night shift, that scares the s_it out of you. Every time you leave the house the OBSESSED thought (leaving the gate open) popped from nowhere and that COMPELLED the person to do some rituals like checking and rechecking if she has bolted the gate and the lock was tightly closed to prevent "strangers in the night" from sneaking into her house. 

One of my friends who has OCD asked me why she has to entertain such “horrible thoughts”. What I told her was the psycho-dynamics of an obsession (the repetitive thoughts is the B-side of her core value. If OCD teases you with vivid images and thoughts about God's displeasure about your recent clash with the police, then religion must be close to your heart before all others. If OCD compels you to do rituals even if it makes you look silly ... (something for the safety of your family and preventing them from getting hurt, then your family is clearly one of your top priorities.

Look at the chart above.  In order for Obsessive Compulsive behavior to show its ugly face ... the first requirement is the presence of an intrusive thought (obsessed thought) that causes a mammoth anxiety to the person. Doing rituals like handwashing is the person's attempt to give relief to the overwhelming anxiety care of her obsession.

Two Ironies

 

Two ironies.  Choose your poison.

1. I am so emotionally DRAINED and exhausted because I think EVERYONE is my responsibility.

2. He was so emotionally DRAINED and exhausted ... because he believed he was EVERYONE'S responsibility.

http://viewpointandmindset.blogspot.com

Why Do You Feel You Are Responsible For Everybody?

Why do you feel you are responsible for everybody? Have you ever thought you have responsibility fatigue ... that state where you feel burned out - because you have spread yourself too wide because you think you are the answer to everyone's problem? You stretched yourself too thin ... you are almost in a panic mood because you feel there's just an avalanche of work waiting for you.

Why do you feel obligated to pay for somebody else water bills when the person you are helping doesn't even lift a finger thinking about water interruption if they remain stubborn about paying their bills on time? Why do you feel the need to throw their trash when they are already accustomed to that way of life? Because you were the first person to see the broken glass ... so protecting others becomes your priority? And because you didn't pick the glass and somebody stepped on it ... does it mean that it becomes your fault?

There are only 24 hours in a day ... yet you feel you need to stretch it to 28 because there are just a lot of people expecting you to serve them. The number of hours in a day has not changed ... but the task that needs to be done has quadrupled ... making you forget about your own personal problems as you attend to the problems of others they themselves don't care about.

How convenient of them to stay idle and ignore their personal responsibilities and you have allowed yourself to be used and abused and become a workhorse and solve problems for them. Of course, there are still thousands of myriad obligations you have to think about - food shopping, dropping children to school ... and by the time the day ends you dropped dead-tired.

Bubble Gang: Gusto Ko Nang Bumigay by Michael V. (Gusto Ko Nang Bumitaw ...

Men are like ....

                                                    ABS CBN Actor - Rhys Miguel

Men are like ... appetizers/appetite stimulants.

The more buff or shape they become ... fans will have more CRAVINGS and HUNGER as they say ... more RHYS, please!
 

Whose Idea Is This

   

A punching bag? Not funny ... 

Time and again, as a person from the outside looking in, we have seen the imagination and the inventiveness (creativity and uniqueness) of man through ancient, classical, modern, and contemporary arts. Some of these art and literary masterpieces are displayed in cultural and history museums.

 Now, you can see man's creativity in all aspects of endeavor — from architecture, cuisine, and fashion to literature, music, and films. In fact, you can almost say that creativity and innovation are embedded in the everyday lives of everyone.

The feature above may sound too minor to some ... but some nuggets of artistry ... is evident. It is the START.