We Never Changed: We Alwats Choos Thieves As Leaders

It is one of those dreams This time, our time machine brought us to the Praetorium, Jerusalem, 33 AD.

Pontius Pilate, who was pacing back and forth, looking stressed and vaguely bored, addresses a raucous crowd.

Pilate: Alright, alright, settle down! I have a question for you, the esteemed citizens of Judea!

I have two prisoners before me: Jesus of Nazareth, who claims to be the King of the Jews, and Barabbas, a... well, let's just say he's a "businessman" with a penchant for "redistributing wealth."

(The crowd murmurs. A few "Barabbas!" shouts are heard.)

Pilate: Now, according to Roman law, I am allowed to release one prisoner as a gesture of goodwill.

So, tell me, who shall it be? Jesus, the alleged miracle worker, or Barabbas, the... entrepreneur?

(The crowd erupts. A man in the front row, wearing a suspiciously modern-looking "Barabbas for Governor" t-shirt, starts chanting.)

Man in T-shirt: Barabbas! Barabbas!

Pilate: (Sighs) Yes, well, "getting things done" isn't always a good thing, is it? Barabbas has been accused of theft, inciting riots, and... (checks notes) ...tax evasion?

(The crowd cheers louder.)

Pilate: Tax evasion? Really? You're cheering for a tax evader?

Woman in the Crowd: He's just misunderstood! The taxes are too high anyway! He's fighting the system!

Pilate: He's robbing the treasury! How is that "fighting the system"?

Another Man in the Crowd: He's creating jobs! He's giving back to the community! (Whispers) ...in the form of small bribes.

Pilate: (Massaging his temples) This is insane. Jesus, on the other hand, has been accused of... blasphemy? And claiming to be the Messiah?

(A few scattered boos.)

Pilate: So, let me get this straight. You'd rather release a known thief than a man who preaches love, forgiveness, and... (checks notes again) ...free healthcare?

Man in T-shirt: Jesus is an elitist! He's out of touch with the common man! Barabbas understands our struggles!

Pilate: (To himself) I need a vacation.

(He addresses the crowd again, his voice dripping with sarcasm.)

Pilate: Fine! Have it your way! Who do you choose? Jesus or Barabbas?

(The crowd roars in unison.)

Crowd: Barabbas!

Pilate: (Throwing his hands up in the air) So be it! I wash my hands of this!

(He gestures to a Roman soldier.)

Pilate: Release Barabbas! And... (sighs) ...crucify the other one.

(The crowd cheers. The man in the "Barabbas for Governor" t-shirt high-fives his neighbor.)

Pilate: (Muttering as he walks away) Two thousand years from now, they'll still be making the same mistake. I should have invested in hand sanitizer.

(Fade to black. A title card appears: "Philippine Elections, they always choose a thief as their leaders.)