Question; What makes one an enabler
Answer: Enablers have that natural instinctive drive and longing to be loved and liked that is why they make themselves available whenever somebody needs help. People usually described them as accepting and tolerant ... that is why people flocked to them. They make someone feel they are indispensable ... that they are absolutely necessary and things can not function without them.
Who are the enablers in our midst? They can be a boyfriend or girlfriend, a wife, a husband, a romantic partner, parents, brothers and sisters, or a friend. One common denominator for all of these people is their love for someone who is messing up or who is out of control. And these enablers (bless their souls) take more responsibility for the actions of the stubborn and wayward family member ... more than the person is taking for themselves.
Enablers usually have an all-time high when their self-esteem is inflated ... and have a new lease on life once they show these acts of generosity and kindness. This is the only way their self-worth is nourished when loved ones are rushing to their side making them feel important and relevant and a contributing member of the family. They get some adrenalin rush when they show their ability and capability to help ... and their sense of belonging is given a booster dose.
Why do enablers behave in what they do?
The mindset of enablers is to maintain control before the situation gets worse. An enabler doesn't want their loved one to be in murky waters, so they make it a point to invent or make excuses for their behavior before the problem escalates. From the mind of an addicted person whose only thinking is to get their next fix, this is a godsend.
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