Ian Asher, SB19, Terry Zhong 'MOONLIGHT' Music Video

Remembering Nanay

Unofficial Toni G. has some deep ruminations for Mother's Day... I just can't ignore it. It is kind of mushy ... schmaltzy ... and mawkish ... which is not really my person ... but hey ... we can allow bouts of sentimentalism overload once in a while in our lives. Especially when it concerns our mothers.

One of the biggest things I find that separates us from other animals is "empathic resonance” It's the feeling we get when we're with other humans, sharing and being in community with one another. We feel each other's joy or feel each other's pain.

I wish I could have written it myself.

Mother's Day Musings

 

Should PH expel Chinese diplomats over ‘wiretapped’ phone call?

What OFW Had Sacrificed

Yesterday we talked about what people see when one is successful (they usually judge success by how much one earns.)  What they fail to see are the BTS (behind-the-scenes stories one has gone through before he becomes well off. The case in point is our Pinoy OFWs.

 Overseas Filipino workers are a "rara avis" ... they are a rare bird. They have pledged themselves to be the family's workhorse - like providing for their son's and daughters' needs first and foremost ... and their personal needs last. 

They stayed up late in the night  ... or they worked overtime ... and they burned their midnight candles for the sake of their beloved family who think of them as their instrument ... so they will experience the best this world has to offer. Too bad ... the family members left in the Philippines have thought of them as their monetary and gadget providers only... and the thought if their parents have fit in and are adjusting well in the new country ... has never crossed their minds.

They thought that their parents were having a good time ... and according to some sob stories ... some children were even accusing their parents of not sending enough ... because they thought they were there mainly to enjoy and have a great time.

They never knew how their parents endured a lot of sacrifices ... and what they know about their Mom or Dad's difficulties and sacrifices abroad is minuscule ... teeny weeny ... and itsy bitsy.

Here are the following sacrifices they have to go through  ... so children in the Philippines who don't have a clue will realize it.

1. Did you ever know how hard it is for your Mom and Dad to leave you ... your family ... and her country? Have you ever thought of the stinging loneliness ... the fact that he/she is living practically on their own ... the homesickness ... the constant longing ... the pernicious thoughts that haunt them - whether you are okay or are you eating exactly on time ... are you studying hard ... or you choose to enjoy life full of freedom?

2. Have you ever thought of SEPARATION ANXIETY - that exaggerated preoccupation and excessive worry ... concern ... or even dread what will happen to her in the country she is going to?  Or it could be the reverse - her anxiety may stem from nagging thoughts... what will happen to the people she left - will their husbands or wives maintain fidelity and faithfulness as promised? 

Or will her son or daughter make their study their priority ... or they will make their parents work in a foreign land as an excuse to live a licentious or decadent life now that the person in authority is absent and out of the picture -  something like when the CAT is away ... the MOUSE will play? Or OUT OF SIGHT ... OUT OF LOVE?

3. Have you ever thought of CULTURAL SHOCK? That feeling that one is disoriented (or feels he doesn't belong)  when one has decided to transfer to an unfamiliar culture ... a way of life ... or an alien set of lifestyle and attitudes... customs or behaviors? Have you ever thought your Dad ate the food he normally eats... or he was forced to eat lamb, falafel, kebabs, or hummus which is totally new to him? 

Have you ever thought of the impact on one's sanity how especially when they work with big bosses ... and they don't understand what they are talking about ... their voices booming  ... and they seem annoyed and angry.  No one wants to be paranoid ... but all of a sudden ... your Dad or Mom becomes suspicious ... wondering ... and questioning ... "was it them they were angry about ... and what on earth are they doing on this part of the earth? 

4, Have you ever thought of racial discrimination ... and did it occur to you that it can happen to your parents too?

Have you ever thought that as early as the wee hours of the morning they already have breakfast by being verbally abused because of the way they look or the manner they behave? Did it occur to you they have been called names and stereotypes? And typical of any kind of discrimination ... physical violence is not far behind.

I am not trying to paint a grim picture here ... and discourage fellow Pinoys from avoiding plans of working abroad. Of course, the above situation does not happen to everyone ... but the news of a Filipina jumping out of a five-story high-rise ... or another Pinay placed inside a freezer and left in a desert is a sad reminder for children and families who never appreciate their worth and the things they want to accomplish for them.

Tragic Ending

The last statement I presented above still leaves me numb and stupefied - a woman jumping out of the building to escape ... and an OFW ending up in the freezer as her final coffin. These are slices of real-life stories and broken dreams of living in the Middle East.

Why does finding a job abroad ... at times end up tragic? Being an immigrant myself in America ... this is part and parcel of a pattern of Pinoys weaving a standard narrative when asked how life is going ... in a foreign land.

They usually weave lies to assure his family that everything is going smoothly as expected ... and as planned. They are not truthful about sharing their sob stories ... and they are not brave enough to describe their first day of work - was a little short of hell.  They don't tell their family that yes ... she has a problem ... and her employer treats her like dirt.

They inform their loved ones positively that everything is a bed of roses ... and they try to convince them that their employer treats them like family.  They made up stories that her job and the money especially were a luxurious ease.  Everything was pleasant and hunky-dory ... she couldn't ask for more. Who are they trying to convince?  Themselves or their loved ones?

Their Facebook account chronicles only happy moments  ... and delightful experiences.  They send their family photos with an ear-to-ear smile ... with tall buildings at the backdrop - giving you the impression ... that she is indeed in good hands ... and that she made the right decision working abroad.

As I warned you before ... not everybody who has gone abroad - can claim that they are successful ... genuinely happy ... and are telling you the truth ... and nothing but. What happens now if their concocted stories were just a front ... a big facade to cover up failures ... broken dreams ... and a life taking an unexpected turn? What happens now if everything they did was to save face ... and they are just trying to avoid humiliation?

If their intention is to allay their family's fears (marami na ngang problems ... dadagdagan ko pa) ... pacify their pesky nerves ... and sugarcoat their experience as something pleasant -- it is a problem waiting to happen. They are doing a big disservice to themselves when they are not honest and candid about their real situation.

OFW needs to call a spade ... a spade. If there is trouble ... they should communicate these experiences with their family. They don't have to keep these emotions bottled up ... because the time will come they are going to explode. Remember the lady jumping off to her death?

They should share their problems and issues with friends and family. If the problem is something they can't handle ... anyone back home can always make suggestions for them to resign even if it is not suitable or inappropriate ... and go home before it is too late.

Remember the lady in the freezer?

It is kind of morbid ... but it really needs to be addressed.

Photo Story

People can always see successful people ... but what they fail to see are the behind-the-scenes struggles he has to do and endure to become successful.

Have you ever thought of the hard work, persistence ... criticisms ... risks ... rejections ... time wasted ... and the late-night struggles one has to go through ... undertake ... be subjected to ... or have to put up with ... just to be where he is now today?

Success is the pay-off for the pledge and promise ... of the tireless and indefatigable resolve you have to better yourself.

For somebody to become successful, more often than not the person has to embark on decisions no one has dared before ... or has taken risks ... no one has taken the courage to venture in.

Or it could be that the person has taken more responsibilities ... or has sweated knee-deep more than what ordinary mortals are willing to shoulder. 

I have seen these types of people when I was working abroad. They are tenacious and determined ... unrelenting and tireless. Where other people are satisfied with just a meager income ... some of these types make nighttime their daytime ... just to stretch their waking hours.  Where other people content themselves with a single job ... they search far and wide ... even to the extent of having triple jobs.

I saw them juggle multiple jobs ... and what was heart-rending was they took naps in commuter buses on their way to the next job.

I have a high respect for this type of person. I just find it so amazing how their family back home failed to realize the value of their efforts and how they pummel themselves working twenty four-seven ... in the name of FAMILY.