Definition

Entitlement is... a belief that the person deserves something he did not sweat or struggle for. It is a belief that a person has a right to claim whatever he thinks he needs at the moment - be it money, or fame. power and position. Para siyang anak ng hari na kailangan kung ano ang gusto niya ay siyang masusunod. Gusto niya manood ng concert ... feeling niya he deserved the best seat. Papasok siya sa restaurant ... huwag kang tatanga-tanga ... because she believes she deserve the best service.  

Sila yong mga taong pinag-aral mo na ... they don't make it an opportunity to fine-tune their potentials.  OO nga naman bakit ka naman magsunog ng kilay para makuha mo ay good grades ... yong pasang awa pwede na. Deserve nila ang hindi stressful na pagaaral ... kaya to hell with graduating with honors. Entitled ako sa kung ano ang gusto ko. Ang importante ay ako.

Papasok siya sa school ... gusto niya maka-avail ng magandang allowance ... kung wala kang pera ... problema mo na iyon basta hindi niya deserve ang magutom. Bibigyan mo ng pambayad sa tuition fee ... no question ask ... at wala siyang remorse ha ... gagastosin niya ang pera to anything he has fancy on.  Magalit na kung magalit ang dapat magalit.

Sa trabaho naman feeling entitled ka ... kung nagde-demand ka ng ganito at ganire. Kung bukang-bibig sa iyo ang mga free health care, enormous pension, paid holidays and unlimited sick time na mga hinaing ...  nakakarindi ka na. Nakukulitan na sa iyo ang big bosses mo at yong pinagaasta mo is almost bordering on delusions of grandeur peppered with delusions of persecution.

Yong mga pumapasok sa bisyo ... halimbawa sila ng mga taong feeling ENTITLED that they can do anything they want under the sun.  Kung kailangan nilang magwala ... RIGHT nila yon because that made them feel powerful. Kung kailangan maging lasenggo sila or mag-druga ... PRIVILEGE nila yon kasi DESERVE din naman nila ang maging happy.  Kung kailangan nilang mangutang ... dahil may naisip silang masarap na kainin ... ano ba naman yong -treat mo naman ang sarili mo paminsan minsan.

Haven't you noticed there's a lot of that in our midst? People who thought their parents owed them something, so she had to give them a part of whatever money they earned. Ang pera ng parents niya ... pera niya rin.  At yong pera at sueldo niya sa kanya lang. Kasi deserve at entitled siya doon at walang karapatan ang parents na magreklamo. 

At dahil gahaman ito ... she has the gall to say what is in her mind. So if a person say, "Gusto ko nang mag avail ng mana ... can you believe 20 years old pa lang mana na ang nasa isip niya?  Hindi man lang niya tinatanong kung may mamanahin nga ba? Or nagpapatawa lang siya. Buhay at alive and kicking pa ang parents niya ay pinapatay na? At alam niya rin kung alin ang maganda ... at malakas ang loob na sasabihin na yong bahay sa Alabang ... sa akin yon."

Ang pagiging ENTITLED ay mga red flags na dapat tatandaan ninuman.  Anything in excess is abnormal ... lalo na kung may mga tao kang naagrabyado. Gusto mong maligaya ... pero may mga taong humihikbi dahil sa mga claims mong mga bagay na deserve mo. Feeling mo may right at entitled ka sa mga bagay-bagay ... pero paano na ang mga taong tinatapakan mo?

Abraham's One Liner

 

Some Good Things About Separation

 

What benefit can separation do to a relationship (husband and wife, friend and friend, parent and children, boyfriend and girlfriend, brother and sister, a person to his job, and the person to his community?)

The rule of thumb is ... it is absolutely healthy to spend some time apart ... but you can't maintain a strong relationship unless you spend time together too. If it is a trial separation... the persons involved should decide the yardstick on how long the separation will be. Experts believe the longest should be 3-5 months approximately ... anything more than that ... and you see the relationship is teetering on the brink of permanent separation.

As mentioned here are the benefits should you decide on a trial separation.

1. Separation can provide sufficient breathing room - a space where one can move freely and breathe comfortably.

2. Separation douses the fire, extinguishes the raging blaze of emotions, and prevents escalation of further discord and animosities.

3. Separation gives time for parties to contemplate and reflect on their situation and allows the healing process to start rolling.

4. Separation permits both parties to savor some autonomy. freedom and self-reliance while your relationship is at a standstill.

5. Separation releases all the negative pressures of life and makes you feel more relaxed and refreshed.

6. Separation (being separated physically from a loved one) intensifies their affection and their desire to be reunited.

7. Separation allows the parties to have their own space back, their autonomy, and privacy if constant meddling is a problem.

8. Separation makes it easier for reconciliation to happen if the parties opt to reunite.

9. Separation allows both parties to reconnect with hobbies or certain activities they used to do that were missing during the relationship.

10. On-again-off-again couples can enjoy their solitude ... their peace and quiet ... while the relationship is still legally intact.

11. Impulsive couples who hastily break up only to find themselves back in their arms later give them time to rethink and consider possibilities... or they want to move forward.

Separation allows you to experience what life would be like without the other person. It is the time to get away and escape the harsh realities ... and to take time out to see what the other side of the world has to offer.

Abraham's One Liner

 

Separation is Not All That Bad.

Separation can happen between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, a person and his job, or a person from his community or country. Indeed, whether to separate or not ...  or is it good or bad ... keeps hounding the involved parties. They really need to think about the reasons why they want to separate and decide what the separation is all about.

I am not an advocate for separation, but when everything seems useless and the relationship is going down the pits ... what else is there for you to do? You have done your best to save the relationship ... but it looked like the future looked gloomy and bleak for a reconciliation.

With the first question is the separation good or bad? Let us look at the situation on the brighter side of things. If a husband is separated from his wife ... or a parent to her children ... or a person to his job or country ... separation may give both parties the time for deep introspection and self-examination and spend time recharging their batteries and a ceasefire from all the war of words and acrimonious exchange. Separation is the most opportune time to work on issues related to communication, attachment, what happened to the relationship, and what measures you did that failed.

Separation can be made as an instrument to chill and cool things down to improve or save the relationship.  When the psychological steam from both parties has simmered down, and both are calmer, each person can think better as to what he really wants and what he is willing to offer to better the situation.

Separation when in a calmer place also intercepts the war of egos and the emotional storm that has been raging for months or years. When there is the inability to forgive, built-up resentment abounds, financial strain is up the ceiling, poor communication and intimacy problems acting like a Damocles sword hanging in their heads ... it is best to call for a time-out or a foul can happen.

When the atmosphere in the house becomes claustrophobic and the walls become so confined and close that you can't breathe anymore ... as one party indulges in name-calling, harassment, intrigues, blackmailing, and threats ... a separation can be a temporary anodyne and a recess to all these activities.

When the atmosphere in a workplace makes it look like an arena of combatants ready to fight and kill each other, where the ambiance so stifling and suffocating compounded by envy, gluttony, and jealousy ... it is imperative separation is in order so its workers can find the "oasis" in their desert of woes.

When the person owes money to practically everyone in the community or the person is into vices or alcohol and everyone is bent on having their own version of a manhunt to catch him ... when the person is flooded with criminal complaints ... the result can be stressful and exhausting to the person. A temporary separation or relocation is needed to allow the person to rest and relax (he can even go to another country) so he can regain his energy and his sanity.

This is a good time to reexamine what is so bad about you that the police is after you.  Think about it.

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