Knowing The Self-Entitled People in Our Midst

People with ENTITLEMENT COMPLEX have this belief that rules that are supposed to be applicable to all ... can be bent  ... to accommodate them or for their benefit. They expect preferential treatment, access rights, benefits  and privileges that is only accorded to the chosen few. Some of them don't even realize they are their hometown's poster boy for toxicity and negativity. They have deluded themselves that they always on the right and the sane side of things. They didn't realize that some of what they do are bordering on the bizarre ... critics can always jump to conclusions they are just a stone-throw away from the cuckoo's bin. 

Here are some tips for knowing people who have placed themselves on a pedestal, who think of themselves as the chosen few ... the untouchables ... and to put it more bluntly - people who thought they are always above the law.

1.  You are SELF-ENTITLED if you are expecting you can also use the parking areas that are clearly marked for use of people with disabilities.

2. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you think traffic officers will be lenient to you when you are overspeeding or you insist on double parking.

3. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you think security guards will give you a pass for using the VIP lounge in airports and terminals.

4. You are SELF-ENTITLED if  you expect your parents will give you preferential treatment in rules about curfews at home.

5. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you think your siblings will allow you to use his car because it is your birthday.

6.  You are SELF-ENTITLED if you thought nobody will critique you for wearing a provocative dress inside the church.

7.  You are SELF-ENTITLED when you make it a habit of keeping towels and utensils in hotels just because you want it as souvenirs.

8. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you hope for the maitre d to give you the best seat in a Las Vegas show.

9.  You are SELF-ENTITLED if you assumed you can borrow money from anybody and never pay it back.

10. You are SELF-ENTITLED when your mom gives you money to buy Chickenjoy you opted to buy Chicken McNuggets instead because that's what you like.

11. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you expect your parents to support you until their dying day

12. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you presume you can just bad-mouth anybody and call them names just because you hate them.

13. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you always ask for small favors from others and you can't return back the favors because you think it's not your obligation.

14. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you don't show gratitude, respect, thanks, appreciation, or indebtedness to people who have helped you one way or the other.

15, You are SELF-ENTITLED that your parent's wish is to make you the best of what you choose to be ... instead, you retrogressed into someone so stubborn, irresponsible, and self-destructing.

Self-destructive behavior is when you do something that is sure to cause self-harm. After your problem is solved you are expected to change and never go back to your old ways. But some people never learn their lessons.  Instead of moving forward ... they step backward by going into drugs, binge eating, and compulsive activities like gambling, gaming, or shopping that will aggravate further their situation.

Abraham's One Liner

 

We are riding high on our ENTITLEMENT discussion.  Here is another eye-opener.

 Putting yourself FIRST is not SELFISH.

 Thinking about yourself CONSTANTLY is SELFISH.

 To all people with ENTITLEMENT COMPLEX please know the DIFFERENCE.

Caption That

                      O ... lettuce na lang at mayonnaise ang kulang

How Can You Tell You Have Entitlement Issues

To self-entitled people who expect help every time they have a dysfunction ... remember this always: "The lack of PLANNING on your part does not constitute an EMERGENCY on my part." So don't expect that I will always drop what I am doing just because you needed help.  

I still remember a friend in America whose caring for a son with tuberculosis. The son never told his mom about his diagnosis and he allowed his mother to be exposed to dangerous microbes. Being SELF-ENTITLED was that right for him not to disclose the reason why he was ill? You need the help all right but common sense dictates you need to come clean so your mother can at least don proper PPE (personal protective equipment) before taking care of you.

Indeed self-entitled person expects all the time ... societal rules can be bent ... to fit into what they believe in. For instance, a SELF-ENTITLED person can be very critical about people stealing money from their friends, colleagues, siblings, and parents ... but what do you know ... she is also into the same shenanigans.

They are always vocal about how a family should help each other in times of problems ... but lo and behold ... they are the very reason ... why they are in such a big mess.  They create the situation they are in ... and they blame others for being responsible for it. They never see themselves in the equation ... and they always see themselves as victims.  They have never seen what they are doing are self-inflicted injuries or deliberate self-harm, but they do it anyway ... and blame others for it.

They also don't believe their behaviors are toxic and are considered poison ... which is enough to ruin any relationship.

They still consider their behavior normal ... and they think they are always right. They are clueless as to how people close to them distance themselves and avoid any communication, They console themselves by saying: "It is your loss ... not mine" 

Holy Toledo... I just can't believe they forgot to ask themselves "What is wrong with me ... why do people steer clear of me? Indeed ... staying away from them and hiding in their shells is a welcome treat ... for how can you survive people whose main source of survival is making intrigues, antipathy, and spreading malicious gossip.

They also have a crab mentality. If the last problem they have now is pulling them down big time ... they will find ways and means of bringing you down in the same gutter. Their motto is "Misery loves company" and they take comfort in knowing they are not alone ... because they have managed to pull you in the dump where they belong.

And what kind of help do they need? Any help that concerns himself or his immediate family - that kind of help. Any help coming from them being extended to others ... are few and far between.  They get frustrated when their needs are thwarted ... and it becomes a big deal because these people can resort to name-calling and blackmailing...  and others will resort to rubbing any small help they have given you before. And what is worst is "sila ang nangangailan ng tulong ... sila pa ang may ganang magalit."

Self-ENTITLED people do not believe in "utang na loob." You may help them in their problem but they are not indebted to you. They don't owe you anything ... and gratitude for the service rendered is not in their vocabulary. They don't even say thank you because they believed you are helping them because it is your responsibility. How morbid.

Famous people react to self-entitled people and here are some of what they say:

-Mindy Raling - "ENTITLEMENT is simply a belief that you deserve something.  Which is great. The hard part is, you better make sure ... you deserved it."

-Quote Master - "ENTITLEMENT is not a right.  People are not born with a claim on the property of others. Do you disagree? Tell me how much I earn belongs to you and WHY?

-Marian Wright Edelman - "Don't feel ENTITLED to anything you didn't sweat or struggle for."

-Unknown - Self-ENTITLED people have no boundaries. They feel ENTITLED to say whatever they feel and litter their opinions regardless if they are rude, hurtful, or not true at all.  They will get angry when you defend yourself and blame you for causing drama."

-Dr. Steve Maraboli- A sense of ENTITLEMENT is a cancerous thought process that is void of gratitude and can be deadly to any relationship."

-Steven Aitchison - Successful people have a sense of gratitude.

Unsuccessful people have ENTITLEMENT."

-Onlyanurse.com - "A sense of ENTITLEMENT always guarantee you a seat at the victim's table."

-Robert Evans  - "When somebody shows up with an attitude of ENTITLEMENT ... understand that under it is a boat-load  of anxiety."

-Steven Furtick - "Gratitude begins where my sense of ENTITLEMENT ends."

-Unknown - "ENTITLEMENT is a delusion built on self-centeredness and laziness."

The Psychology of Entitlement Complex

 What is entitlement mentality means?  One vivid example of a person with an entitlement attitude is someone who seems to act like the world owed them something in exchange for nothing. They are those people who have an insatiable appetite to ask for favors, and if they ask for something they better be good.

Entitlement complex is a person's belief that he or she deserves special treatment or special rights, advantages, or immunities. They feel the need for recognition for things they did not earn or sweat. Some people think they are spoiled brats ... children who think their parent's money is their money and they have the right to get the money or steal it ... and when caught in the act ... they told you ... 'it is our money".

A person with an entitlement mentality ... when things did not go in their direction ... often takes a swing at anybody when thwarted and the way they lashed out gives you the impression you are dealing with a diva ... of a prima donnish character.

Funny how these people think and operate.  They believe all attention should be on them ... when they can't even give an iota of attention to others, let alone the attention they should give to themselves.  They believe all money should be spent on their needs, and not for a single moment have they thought ... the person supporting them have their needs too. 

Psychologist believes that the sense of entitlement is carry-over behavior that can be traced to the child's psychosexual development. They believed adults who are self-entitled are spoiled children and may have a faulty oral stage.

All parents shower their children with everything this life can offer because they want them pleased and gratified. This is normal but it has also its downside. When parents become a pawn and always give in ... and cave into their children's wishes ... the child imbibe and develop that feeling of self-entitlement.

Other reasons why a person is self-entitled are children who experienced childhood traumas where he is maltreated, abandoned, or ignored. A child who experiences care deprivation develops a self-entitled attitude using the defense mechanism of compensation to cover up his past. Because he was deprived of love, he demands it from anybody because they didn't receive it at a young age.

So it is not uncommon to see unprepared people embarking on serious stuff like marriage and they have no inkling what to expect especially the financial aspect that goes with it when they have their own children.  Self-entitled brats expect their parents to pick up the tab ... but the 24 dollars question they should answer is ... UNTIL WHEN?

Which Side Are You?

 

Aling kampo ka ba?

1.  Maikli lang ang buhay ... huwag nating sayangin ito.

2.  Maikli lang ang buhay ... please sayangin mo na sa akin yan!

http://viewpointandmindset.blogspot.com

Responding To Netizen's Comment

Netizen's Comment:  Your post about "why I feel the need to be responsible for others" is an eye-opener. Is it a mental illness ... and what is it called? And why does the person behave the way they do and how can it be resolved?

Response: I have a friend in the US who feels this way ... that she feels responsible for all family members - and that includes their finances and sending brothers and cousins to school for their education.

Psychologists have coined a term for that and they call it hyper-responsibility syndrome - a burned-out feeling where one feels exhausted and drained accepting mountains of obligations and responsibilities more than she can handle. They are hallmark signs of a person who has OCD or obsessive-compulsive behavior.

If you remember our discussion a month ago about psycho-sexual development, OCD has a defective anal stage either he was forced to have early bowel training ... or he was left alone on his own. Carryover behavior of the anal stage in adults includes intrusive thoughts usually triggered by stress or anxiety or guilt. 

Why has this woman accepted more responsibilities than she can handle ... it is all because she doesn't like anything harmful that will result from her not accepting the job laid to her ... or she has fears of making mistakes that will cause long-term effects or something bad might happen just in case she opted to ignore the obligations presented to her. 

Guilt generally provokes emotional distress ... and at times even if she has realized she already has enough on her plate ... to get rid of these pesky and unwanted thoughts one is forced to accept more work ... even though she felt it is too much for her.

Overthinking sometimes makes it worse ... as the person indulges much in repetitive worrying ... at times she makes hasty decisions like "sigi na nga ... aakoin ko na ang obligasyon" just to avoid these nagging thoughts. 

How do you relieve these intrusive thoughts? Intrusive thoughts don't typically go away on their own and you may experience them often and persistently, particularly if you don't receive OCD treatment. Other helpful tips include distractions like making a hobby or exercising or jogging ... it may help you deal with meddlesome thoughts and corresponding compulsions.