Deadends At Deadlines

Dead-ends At Deadlines

A millionaire at 20. First Car at 21. A dream house at 22. That's a tall order... a friend commented.

DEAD-ENDS at DEADLINES?

The accompanying image below (please read it all) asked a fundamental question: Who made these rules? And who the hell imposed these deadlines?

Deadlines in life are often self-imposed. We set DUE DATES ... a TIME FRAME ... TIME LIMITS ... TARGET DATES and CUT-OFF TIME in everything we do. We set personal deadlines to manage our time, stay organized, and achieve goals.

Other deadlines are imposed by our employers (this project comes hell or high water needs to be completed tomorrow), clients (the items I ordered have to arrive next week), our peers (all our classmates are working abroad ... apply ka na), and society (pakasal ka na ... nahuhuli ka na biyahe).

While the arguments and the points on the image are true and acceptable ... let me be the devil's advocate to point out the other side of the coin ... that setting deadlines also has its plus points.

Consider this. Deadlines are putting your planning into action. Without deadlines, a person can procrastinate (it's manana habit dummy) forever.

Without deadlines, work and assignments are not completed on time ... and projects don't hit their due dates. If you don't set deadlines ... there is a possibility that you are oblivious of how much time is available to achieve them.

Deadlines motivate people to achieve their goals. It gives them the incentive to get it done on time. Without a clear-cut set date ... it will take longer than it should. Which means spending more money ... and more days wasted.

Deadlines create psychological push by imposing some sense of urgency (a feeling that a task needs immediate attention and prompt action).

This urgency can be a powerful motivator, pushing individuals and teams to focus and prioritize their tasks.

The pressure of an approaching deadline often leads to increased “doing” and a sense of accomplishment once achieved.

Trouble In Paradise?

Trouble In Paradise?

Another melodrama is looming and emerging... and even the journey of Kiko Pangilinan and Bam Aquino in the Senate was not spared, as it has its own twists and turns. 

Ayaw ba nila magpatalo sa convoluted storyline ni Inday Sara in her impeachment trek? Masaya yata ang lahat, kung toast of the town at pinagusapan sila ... at laman ng mga diyaryo at social media.

The persistent talk about two true-blue comebacking potential minority members who were newly reelected  ... and will give Risa  Hontiveros a boost in terms of moral support, company, and a shoulder to cry on ... in the jungle walls of the Senate ... made its dramatic turn ... and was nipped in the bud.

After a grueling campaign season, where Sen. Risa spent a lot of her waking hours campaigning for the two, the effort paid off, giving his friends the second and the fifth spots in a highly contested Senate race. 

Well, after some triumphant celebration ... reality showed its ugly face, and it looked like there was no fairy-tale "and-they-live-happily-ever-after scenario" in the Senate coming soon.

The much-touted troika opposition leadership waiting to make its presence felt ... were just a byproduct of Dilawan's fertile imagination, ... and the happy ending everyone expected in this Senate fantasy ... is a fluke and remained a fantasy.

The minority bloc world came tumbling down after the alleged ka-kosa or ka-tropa had their neck craned to other lucrative possibilities - where the grass is greener ... and the honey is much sweeter.

If rumors are true, they were promised a lot of perks, benefits, and additional gravy and bonuses, including chairmanship in Senate important committees. Dahil lang doon nagiging marupok na sila, and readily jump ship to join the Escudero group?

Huwag sana makalimutan ni Aquino at Pangilinan why voters catapulted them to become the second and fifth Senate topnotchers in the last election. They were voted to become a robust opposition fiscalizers... and joining the Escudero bandwagon is just like kowtowing and waving the white flag. Not even honoring friendship or the voters who made their win happen.

Nasaan na ba ang utang na loob? Pagkatapos manalo pati panindigan nawala rin? The two have to remember the Gen Z and millineal group came in grooves to put them on the top. They will surely be disenchanted and disillusioned na ang ibinoto nila ay madali palang makalimot/

Whatever gains they had in the last election, they should be consolidated and not squandered by making kanya-kanya moves. To each his own? That won't work. 

Tingnan mo ang mga Duterte senators nagtatag-team sila ... and working in a cohesive riding in tandem fashion. Simply put, they are a picture of the IZED battalion - harmonized, synchronized, organized, synthesized, and systematized fighting machines.

Risa H. was obviously disheartened ... but she didn't show it. The fact of the matter she made a resolve to continue the fight even if it means she and she alone will arm-wrestle the formidable Duterte Seven.

The Kakampinks and the Dilawans were disappointed too. Isang verdaderong rah-rah girls wished na sana tsismis lang ito and hope na mahimasmasan ang dalawa when the senators vote who's who in the Senate presidency.

What's In A Name?

What's in a name? Ayan bidang-bida diyan ang Alabang. Kung sino man nakaisip ng pakulong ito deserves a pat in the shoulder.

Nagamit na ang catchphrase na yan sa time ng Power Boys (see the TV Commercial below) that includes Jordan Herrera, Frank Garcia, Geoff Rodriguez, Greg Martin, and Jay Salas in MTB (Magandang Tanghali Bayan) in 2000.

The group used to be called the Rexona Boys, and had made "Wala ba kayong kamay?" a buzzword (viral was not used then), but then they failed to tie that up with Alabang. A more enterprising boy group manager could have made that the gimmick tagline for the budding singing group.

What the heck ... ALABANG kayong kamay? Better late than never.

JORDAN_HERERRA_wala ba kayong mga kamay?

Two-Faced Hari

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, irony is defined as “the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning”.

And according to the Collins Dictionary, irony is “a subtle form of humour which involves saying things or doing things that you do not mean”.

They are also events that seem deliberately contrary to what one expects, and are amusing as a result.

The image above shows how Hari Ruki greeted Senator Leila de Lima, who was languishing in jail for a crime she did not commit. He said, "Happy anniversary on your first year of detention. May you spend the rest of your life in jail."

He said differently when he was detained for 24 hours, and he was obviously singing a different tune: "I will not wish even to my fiercest political opponents, to be deprived of their personal liberty and freedom."

Well, it is ironic that he said that ... and he has forgotten how tart and acerbic his greetings were to de Lima, who was one of his political opponents he disliked.

Does that mean that if you haven't experienced jail time, you can say the most vile of greetings you can think of without thinking how sharp your tongue was and how selfish and insensitive you become?

And when the tables were turned ... you suddenly came to your senses? Does being placed behind bars make you see the bigger picture and, from this altered vantage point, made you realize things that hadn't occurred to you before, which allows you to put things together differently so that your life once again makes sense to you?

Here are more of these situations in Hari Ruki's lifetime:

1. Ayaw umuwi ni Roque, (he is overstaying in Hague Netherlands) ... kasi WALA DAW HUSTISYA sa Pilipinas.

Pero dapat daw umuwi si Digong  ... kasi makukuha niya ang  HUSTISYA sa Pilipinas. DAW!

2. Hari Ruki is said to be a human rights lawyer. He provides legal counsel and advocates for individuals or groups whose human rights were violated. 

How time flies as he is now a defender of a former president who is allegedly notorious for trampling on human rights tenets and principles.

3. His accolades include his long-drawn battle when he fought for the dignity of comfort women who were forced into sexual enslavement during the Japanese regime. 

Too bad because the last time we knew, he turned himself into the watchdog of an ex-president and legitimized his actions, well known for cracking demeaning rape jokes and making sexist and misogynistic remarks.

4. Hari Ruki's advocacy is defending the constitution at all costs. He upholds, defends, and promotes the principles and provisions outlined in our constitution. This includes ensuring that the government and its institutions operate within the bounds of the constitution, protecting individual rights, and advocating for constitutional reforms when necessary. 

Now it is okay with him if his colleagues (the Senator-Judges) are skating on thin ice and making a mockery of the Senate, like Bato making a motion to dismiss impeachment complaints, Cayetano's DEMANDing a REMAND, Robin Padilla flexing his senatorial arrogance and ignorance, Marcos and Villar refusing to don impeach robes, and Escudero delaying the impeachment trial and ignoring the meaning of forthwith.

5. And how can one forget him when he championed the cause of the 58 victims in the Maguindanao massacre? That was the height of his career. Everybody revered him like a hero at that time.

It's all water under the bridge now as he made a 90-degree turn, showing apathy and disregard for the plight of victims of tokhang.

6. Hari Ruki was also the former chairperson of the coalition in the International Criminal Court. No one has complained of his appointment because he specializes in International Law and was teaching the same at UP.

In a staggering reversal of roles, he had supported Digong's sinister plan for the Philippines to break up with the organization. He later found himself coming back to Haque as the self-proclaimed lawyer for Digong in all of Digong's ICC woes.

7. As part of his impeccable portfolio, he also defended 16 fishermen hassled by the Chinese navy in the Philippines EEZ, and because of his fire and zeal ... he even ended up suing China at the United Nations. He castigated the Chinese intrusion and denounced it as a blatant violation of the fishermen's rights.

In Duterte's regime, he has a tamed version of himself - his mouth was zipped, and he stayed silent ... too subdued and domesticated, he dared not badmouth the aggressor.

8.  Hari Ruki also advocates for press freedom and the right to speech. He works to protect journalists and media outlets from reporting on news without interference and censorship, and raising awareness about the importance of a free press in a democratic society. 

That was before ... until he became a high priestess of fake news and the alleged fabrication of videos to smear the president.

Hari Ruki is indeed an enigma and the king of ironies. You will never know what comes next of his mouth. And what will he do?

Pula ... Puti! Para siyang yong singer sa doble-cara. Two-faced, and you will be forever second-guessing what person will come out next ... gugulatin at bubulagain ka.

I once applauded him for his advocacies ... but things got worse when he shifted his passion  from being the defender of the oppressed to being an enabler and a bootlicker of Digong.

ABOGADO: Is the Senate overstepping its constitutional bounds in the imp...

Gas Lighting

Gaslighting is a slang word for making someone question their sanity or their powers of reasoning.

When someone suggests that you are losing your mind (that may not be his real intention) ... but he makes you question your mental health ... teases you that you are forgetful and you don't hear well and your eyes are failing you... and accuses you that you are oversensitive and over-emotional ... that is the start of the vicious cycle of gaslighting.

The gaslighter often tricks you to make you uncertain about what is real and what is not. So when he says, pointing to the sky, "Look ... what was that ... and you said 'it is an airplane" and he insists "that was Superman," he was there to confuse you.

He was there invalidating what you saw ... contesting your feelings ... and in some part challenging your point of view.

The origin of the phrase began when a stage play was performed under the same title, GAS LIGHT. It is a story of a husband trying to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home, and then he later denies that the light changed when his wife points it out.

Back to the topic ... people who gaslight feed you with lies, and the victim is aware that they are being lied to. The gaslighter's main concern here is how they were able to inject some kind of doubt into the person, doubting their REALITY when the incident is crystal clear and lucid, and they have seen everything en toto and heard enough.

Telling the victim their eyes and ears are not reliable is the start of the abusive template, and when the victim shows signs that they are wobbling in their position, especially with what they saw and heard, gaslighting is up for a good start.

I know of somebody who is quite savvy with gaslighting as a child (although I doubt if he knew what he was doing ... he was only seven then.) He woke up one December morning ... and I said: "Where are you going?" and he told me that he was going to attend and serve in the MASS."

Doubting what he is up to, I also went to church just to find out. I personally chose the seat in the last pew. He was not serving in the mass (I can see the acolytes in front from where I sit) ... and then I heard a familiar laughter at the back of the church ... it was him together with his friends. The REALITY was ... he woke up early to meet with his friends, and not because he became a holy convert that morning.

He told me lies ... and what was worse was ... he believed his lies. He looked me in the eyes, without batting an eyelash despite the blatant lies ... he maintained his claim that he served in the mass.

Pwede ba yon? Nagiging acolyte siya that morning pero hindi ko siya nakita sa harap ng altar ... kundi sa pintoan ng simbahan?

Bakit hindi na lang aakuin na sigi na nga ... nahuli mo ako. I woke up this early to be with my friends. Bakit kailangan paglaruan pa ako at questionin kung ano ang nakita at narinig ko?

And why do I have to question my sanity or my visual and hearing acuity .... or ask myself, was I dreaming (eh maliwanag pa sa tanghaling tapat ang chronology ng mga pangyayari??

At ako naman bakit kailangan maniwala ako sa sinabi niya ... eh ang nakita at narinig ko ay taliwas lang naman sa kung ano ang gusto niyang paniwalaan ko at kung ano ang gusto niyang palabasin.

And here's the twist of the story: I don't know what gaslighting was back then. But despite seeing that he was there at the back of the church with friends, I did not see him in front of the altar, either.

The REALITY was he did not ... but he succeeded in making me let go of the story by making me doubt and question my REALITY ... my sanity ... and my senses! Was I dreaming ... I painfully asked myself while rubbing my eyes (or in Tagalog, namamalik-mata ba ako?)

Having earned more units in General Psychology, Abnormal, Cognitive, Developmental, and Physiological Psychology, I taught Mental Hygiene and Psychiatry at the university and followed up with students in Psychiatric hospitals ... I can't believe a seven-year-old child has done that number to me.