Tips On How To Deal With Entitled People

 

Having high expectations is perfectly normal. It becomes abnormal though when the person afflicted with entitlement syndrome assumes that all roads are going his way and it is perfectly alright to bypass authority figures (police, boss or parents.) For instance ... if you see a mango tree in the neighborhood pregnant with deliciously looking yellow fruits ... it is just over the top for you to assume that your neighbor will give you a free pass in his orchard.  Convincing yourself na "marami naman yan ... hindi nila mauubos yan" is so self-serving and downright irresponsible. In the first place did you even ASK PERMISSION? That's the bad part.

If your parent allowed you to stay in a fully furnished home ... that doesn't translate that you can do whatever you want with it. If one day you thought it would be better to place an air conditioner in the living room, mature thinking dictates normal people will consult their parents and ask permission if that is alright with them to bore a hole in the house. If you assume "okay lang yan ... mahal ako niyan ... he will never say no to me" di ba napaka-ASSUMING mo tol? Much more if you sold the house. Suma total it boils down to one thing - malala na ang sakit mo hija - wala kang respeto sa magulang mo pati na sa sarili mo.

Because of their loose morals, entitled people always find themselves alone.  Friends avoid them like plagues and because of their bloated egos and sense of entitlement, it is not uncommon that even family walk away. They are surprised that they feel chronically discontented and dissatisfied. Their unreasonable expectations always make them hostile and they have that constant feeling they have a need that needs to be filled. If their needs were not met, then the feeling of being treated unfairly envelops their whole being.

There is no clear evidence of where this sense of entitlement comes from. But I t tell you ... dealing with them is annoying ... at times debilitating ... and putting up with them is one hell of a Ferris wheel ride. Try these simple tricks and tips.  It is not a surefire formula ... but hey ... there is no harm in trying.

1. Don't give everything to the child. Parents who are submissive and whose strength of will and strength of character cracks every time the child frets or plays temper tantrums whenever he wants something play a big factor in contributing to the person's entitlement issues. Children who have not experienced resistance and were never told NO will grow up as an adult thinking this is how the world operates. Crying is their desperate way of manipulating their parents into caving into their demands.

2. Starve them and don't feed their sense of entitlement - The rule of thumb is ... if you know you are capable of doing what they are asking ... say NO if it is ill-timed and is a bother and disruptive of your timetable. If you are free and don't mind doing it - fine ... say YES. If your sibling says, he wants to borrow your money ... if you have extra ... let him borrow ... but prepare to say no if it is inconvenient and your money is already allocated to something else.

3. Helping is only for a while. If you have a relative who is evicted from the house he rented ... it is okay to say yes if they are asking to use the unused room you have in your house ... rather than see them homeless and struggling in the streets. However, give them your boundaries ... and a timetable, and pre-arrange how much time you allowed them to stay until they become self-sufficient. Tell them your expectations ... that you are not cooking for them, that they have to share the water and electric bills, and that they have to follow curfew rules and regulations, etc.

4. Don't debate. And don't get caught having a verbal fisticuff with them.  Arguing open the doors for entitled persons to flex their bullying muscles on you.  Just keep quiet and leave.  Ignore their texts and DM's.  The silent treatment is an antidote to entitled persons.

5. Be firm, assertive, and strong-willed.  If you want to say NO own it and be sure you meant it. Don't throw in the towel and raise the white flag at the slightest sign that the person is showing entitlement. Say what you feel ... and it is only you who can bring that out.

6. Treat them matter-of-factly. Meaning don't show any signs of emotion. If you see them fret and fuss ... you show them calm. If you have done something to them, they expect you to make amends and apologize ... and when they did something to you ... they expect you to understand them. They always think they were treated unfairly ... 

To all entitled people ... for a change in your entitled heavy schedule check yourself in the mirror...  just be honest ... can't you see who is being unfair?