Comparison

 Question: What is the difference between emotional maturity and emotional immaturity

Answer: One can usually see the glaring difference based on different dimensions

1. Ability to control their emotions - Emotionally mature people know how to respond to situations responsively while emotionally immature people act on impulse. Their response is foolhardy with a devil-may-care attitude.

2. Reactions - EM people approach the problem calmly ... examine the situation make a thorough analysis of what to do and think of the possible outcome when he has chosen their options.  EI people overreact to MINOR things and cannot contain their raging emotions.  After creating a scene, he regrets the blatant display of juvenile temper tantrums and thinks he could have handled the situation more lightly.

3. Criticism and Feedback - EM is open-minded to criticism. They are open to new ideas and suggestions and they are willing to change and can accept that they are wrong.  If EM is RECEPTIVE ... EI on the other hand is DECEPTIVE ... at times defensive and often feels they were attacked when there is a criticism ... as he sang the refrain of ... Me and Me Against The World.

4. Flexibility - EM can step outside of his comfort zone and is willing to see what is going on on the other side of the fence. They are friendly and welcoming to other points of view and mindset.  EI however is rigid, oftentimes UNBENDING ... and UNYIELDING. Individual differences to them are annoying.

5. Empathy - EM has the ability to place themselves in the psychological shoes of another person. They are able to understand and appreciate the feelings of another. EI can not empathize. More often than not they are stingy with compassion.  Something is lacking from them... so how can you expect them to share your grief?

6. Accountability - EM take responsibility for their actions. They own their work and doesn't make excuses if something goes wrong.  EI is a piece of work. If there is trouble, instead of being honest and confess what happened, they either keep mum ... or go into hiding.

7. Healthy Boundaries - When EM set healthy boundaries, they are forthright saying: "This is what I want ... and this is what I hate." Setting boundaries protects our personal space. Setting boundaries with EI can be exhausting and challenging. The first thing he will say to you is: "You hate me this much and you are setting boundaries?

8. Conflicts - EM usually works towards the resolution of the conflict. EI think time will heal the wound ... no matter how long.  He'd rather leave the conflict hanging ... and think the conflict and the ill feelings will pass.

9. Relationship - EM usually makes joint decisions and works together towards relationship goals. On the other end of the relationship with EI is like living a life on an eggshell. These individuals are not just mercurial, their moods are see-saw like.  They are volatile and fluctuating as they vacillate from one extreme to another in how they deal with others.  

So you never feel like you can relax around them—turmoil seems to always be either around the corner, a small incident, or one misspoken word away. You have to tread lightly, as if on eggshells, just to survive.

A Word to The Wise

 

Emotional Immaturity

 

Psychologists view emotional maturity as "a high and appropriate level of emotional control and expression."

 Emotional immaturity is the exact opposite ...  so when one can't tone down the decibels when he tries to express his emotions (like when he is angry he becomes verbally assaultive ... or he resorts to violence ... when he is frustrated ... his emotional crutch is crying) when he let go of his emotions ... its -free-flowing - it is without restraint and there is no self-control. 

At times when he is he is angry - his bodily reactions are over the top and professionals see those overt reactions as disproportionate to the stimuli ...  either it is a small or a big reaction to a situation ... hence not appropriate. Their feelings of joy, happiness, anger, and sorrow are either stronger or weaker than average. For instance, the stimulus is the death of his favorite pet ... or an ex-girlfriend snubbing him at a party ... if he goes ballistics and if the resultant behavior is undue and bordering on the extreme ... like breaking items of furniture ... such reactions are exorbitant and unnecessary.

Your observation of his emotional responses is the hallmark sign you are dealing with an emotionally immature individual. You will observe his feelings can easily be jacked up ... or it can go through the roof ... in the same way a child would react. They have no shame in throwing unpleasant and disruptive behavior and outbursts ... his crying spells are on cue ... and when angry he can show childish and juvenile antics when things do not go the way they want them to.

Emotionally immature people are often seen as lacking emotional sensitivity and behaving in an absorbed and occupied with oneself ... you will realize that any form of communication is next to impossible.  It is something one has to learn in order for you to deal with them effectively.

Experts always say that emotional immaturity is not a diagnosis per se as a mental health disorder ... but this behavior is a part and parcel of a narcissistic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder.

Sino Ba Ang Immature

 

Matanong nga ... Sino nga ba ang immature?

a. yong mahilig magpatama or magparinig sa Twitter

b. yong salo ng salo sa usapan eh wala naman ang pangalan niya.

c. yong feeling niya bawat issue siya ang pinag-usapan.

d. yong sawsaw ng sawsaw sa pagcomment kahit hindi niya kilala ang pinag-usapan.

e. yong comment ng comment just for the sake of commenting

f.  all of the above

Funny Signage

If you are a grammar police who usually gets irritated and cannot stand your penchant for the use of the fractured King's language ... incoherent sentence structure and semantics ... mind-boggling syntax and word coordination ... this nook is not for you. 

But traveling from Aparri to Jolo ... we encountered signage in the streets that managed to put a smile on our faces ... even though Robin Padilla's grandiose display of bad opinions ... or China's flexing his superpower muscle ... has riled up and angered our tender sensibilities.

We are here to celebrate (not mock) the little cracks and flaws in the manner we communicate ourselves. All of us make mistakes ... and at a time when a kilo of rice at 20 pesos is next to impossibility ... we need a little outlet to have a hearty laugh.

And no matter how over-use the cliche goes ... Laughter is indeed ... the best medicine.

Long sleeves na ... sleeveless pa

Movie Poster

Can't Buy Me Love, had its first day of showing last Monday ... and there's a Christmas merry tinkling of dough-re-mi smell in the air.  The proof in the pudding is the 454,413 peak concurrent viewers jostling and elbowing each other to see the teleserye's inaugural installment. Helmed by ABS CBN box-office directors Cathy Garcia Sampana and Mae Cruz Alviar it is evident that the rom-com has the touch of brilliance to feast your eyes on ... and an eye for the box office ... even though of a different genre ... it was a fitting follow-up to the highly successful Iron Heart.

This early Donny Pangilinan and Belle Mariano will go down the long list of Star Magic's loveteam crowd drawers. Ably supported by who's who in the primetime bida one can't resist the magnet of a stellar cast with the likes of Rowell Santiago, Ruffa Gutierrez, Nova Villa, Agot Isidro, Ina Raymundo, Ketchup Eusebio, Celeste Legaspi, Shaina Magdayao, Bernard Palanca, Frenchy Dy, Mitch Valdes, Maricel Laxa. Alwyn Uytingco, Alex Medina, Katya Santos, and Hero Angeles.

The young stars also were ably represented - Darren Espanto, Albie Casino, Joao Constancia, Anthony Jennings, Enzo Pineda, Maris Racal, Kaila Estrada, Vivoree Esclito, Karina Bautista, Chie Filomino, Karl Gabriel and Gello Marquez.

Following the life of an aspiring entrepreneur Bingo (Donny) who lands a chance at a life-changing business grant ... only to get derailed when a wealthy young Caroline (Belle) enters the scene.  

The first day was an eyeful lot ... and the promise of an interesting story started to unfold.  Be the first to witness the birth of a new love team in the league of Kathniel and Lizquen.

Multiple Choice

 Which of the following statement describe the picture above?

a. If at first, you don't succeed ... try and try again.

b. Grit is a consistent sustained effort to reach the goal even when we struggle.

c. The attitude is perseverance and resiliency.

d. Skill and intelligence can grow with effort.

e. Constant practice ... makes perfect.

f. All of the above