*DEAR OFW / BREADWINNERS* HUWAG MAGING TANGA | Homily by Fr. Joseph Fide...

Did You Know?

Did you know that "DID YOU KNOW" questions have an avalanche the last time we checked Google?

Whatever we do ... we always have that unquenchable thirst for trivia and some random neat fun facts are hallucinatory and mind-blowing... it makes us more curious than ever.

Did You Know Questions and Answers come in handy? Are these nuggets of factoid just fun to share with friends and on social media?

Did you know goosebumps are caused by a muscle?

At the base of every hair follicle are tiny fan-shaped muscles called Arrector pili. These muscles contract when the body is cold to warm it up and cause a person's hair to "stand up straight" on their skin, aka goosebumps.

Body muscles contract in quick bursts to generate heat and your hypothalamus triggers a rush of adrenaline.

As the tiny muscles attached to each of your hairs tighten, they shoot straight into the air, pulling the skin at their base upward.

What It Means

When someone apologizes ,,, but you don't see any change in him after everything that happened ... what is it called? It is called manipulation.

This intro will serve as a reminder that when you hear someone saying "I am sorry that I hurt you ... but it was not really my fault" ... you are being manipulated ... influenced ... controlled ... and played upon. Can you imagine someone apologizing to you ... but doesn't acknowledge the gravity of what he did to you?

I smell a rat ... that was the most insincere apology I ever heard. I see manipulation done in a sneaky way possible to get what he wants. 

I saw a master manipulator wanting to be in control. They have perfected the craft of reading emotions. He studies your reaction to his apologies. He can cry and shed real tears ... but he uses that skill to pick up on your frailty and weaknesses ... and take advantage of you. 

Take for example a guy who had badmouthed you for so long ... who has made a fool of you ... who blackmailed you, and then left you ... to experience a life of freedom and a life where no one oversees what he is doing. 

However, life is short for somebody who is just experimenting with life. Later on, he severed his ties with his new friends and the new families he befriended. Knowing that the door is closing on him, feeling niya sumisikip na ang kanyang mundo. Dahil isa-isa siyang iniwan.

Para nga siyang si Caloy Yulo na bulag na bulag sa kanyang mga paniwala ngayon at sa mga taong kinakasama. Nabulag siya sa mga konting tagumpay at palakpakan na buong akala niya ay pamhabangbuhay. 

Going back to the example I made dahil wala na nga siyang magawa ... and the only choice left for him is to go back sa pamilya that he despises, naisip ba niya na ganoon na lang yon? Babalik ka na parang walang nangyari ... at ang mga nakakasugat damdamin na pinagsasabi at ginawa noon ay basta na lang kalimutan? How convenient!

Manipulative behavior and manipulative apology tactics occur when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibilityfor their actions, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Their manipulation tactics, include gaslighting, lying, blaming, shaming,  and criticizing.

When an apology is made to target the feelings of the victim, insinuating that the recipient's reactions rather than the perpetrators' action is a problem ... it becomes a manipulation ... a deflection tactic shifting the blame and the responsibility to the aggrieved. 

They can even go beyond that ... they think that the victim's reaction and feelings to what he did are unwarranted and in appropriate ... and dismiss him as just overly sensitive. Forgive me for bringing this up ... but it rings a similar tune when Inday Sara poo-poohed the ex-DepEd Usec as just the disgruntled employee. Or the late Susan Roces after his strong d'force performance when FPJ died and her critics dismissing her histrionics as coming from "the grieving widow."

In essence, saying sorry is a powerful act of acknowledging you did wrong. However apologizing without showing remorse, guilt, repentance, and contrition is just lip service.

 He said I am sorry in words ... but in action, he has not changed and has not made amends to change to become a better person. It takes away the very core essence of what saying "I am sorry" ... is all about.

"I am sorry that I hurt you ... but it was not really my fault", is almost synonymous with "I am sorry this thing happened ... but you made me do it." This was a toxic apology in the highest order ... because the accusing finger was directed at the victim and this shifted responsibility and the blame to him.

A genuine apology involves deep regrets, sincere self-reproach, owning responsibility and commitment to change.

Beware of this type of people around you.  They can make you bleed with guilt ... while they gleefully wash their hands in search of the next victim.

Lawyer's Mumbo Jumbo: Writ of Amparo

We are not lawyers ... but we need to understand their lexicon (lawyers always have their own lingo only they can understand. Same with doctors, nurses, and engineers) 

We spend our waking hours on YouTube and we are always exposed to hearings and debates ... and also their private conversations ... and all we do is scratch our heads because they are using legal terminologies that sound too foreign and alien to our virgin ears ... and our mind wonders what are they talking about.

Let's start decoding and decrypting these words and phrases (it is irreverent for us to enter the sanctum of the in ... but desperate times need desperate measures) so the next time they use these terms again ... we are on the same page with them.  Not in limbo.

We will try to dissect and define them in simpler language so ordinary mortals and laymen (the amateur and the non-experts) can actively participate in the discussion ... and at the same time broaden their legal and paralegal stock knowledge,

So our word or phrase that is hitting the headlines today is: writ of Amparo

1. PHRASE: Writ of Amparo

2. MEANING: Amparo sounds like a person's name or a family name. It is a Spanish word that means sanctuary, refuge, or asylum. In a broader sense, it is a shelter for safety ... and in the context of the news today like in Harry Roque's case ... it is a protection.

When somebody is given a writ of amparo ... it is a legal remedy and safety cushion given to any person whose life is at risk, or to any person whose securities are threatened and his freedom is jeopardized by oppressive restrictions from authorities, police, or the government. 

The petition may be filed on any day and at any time with the Regional Trial Court of the place where the threat occurred, or with the Sandiganbayan, the Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court, or any justice of such courts.

3. EXAMPLE: 

-Harry Roque on Monday asked the Supreme Court (SC) for a writ of amparo against his arrest in the wake of an order from the quad committees ...

-The daughter of former presidential spokesperson Harry Roque has filed a petition for the writ of amparo before the Supreme Court against the House of Representatives Quad Committee and its ongoing probe on illegal operations of Philippine Offshore Gaming Operators (POGOs)

-In January 2008, ABS CBN news personnel filed the writ of amparo petition with the Supreme Court, which accordingly ordered the government to comment on the petition for protection from harassment and threats of arrest.

 

Toxic Filipino Traits

 We must stop endorsing ... maintaining ... and preserving toxic Filipino practices ... like we back them up, sustain them or preserve them to last another lifetime. It is not simply 'part of the culture' yan (kahit saang angulo mo tingnan ay talagang nakakahiya). Kaya a plan of action is needed to actively resist them ... so we can break the cycle. 

One of these toxic traits is bringing uninvited people to a party.

Hospitality is a defining trait of Filipino culture, characterized by its people's generosity and heartfelt welcome. That is a generous trait all right ... but it is not a license for you to tag along 5 more people ... mga taong hindi man lang kilala ng host.

Nang gate crash ka na ... nagdala ka pa ng isang barangay na pakakainin? What happens now ... kung ang handa ng kaibigan mo is not enough. Pinahiya mo na ang sarili mo ... lalo na si frennie mo (pahiram Rhoda ... pagamit sa lambingan ninyo ni Maritess of Batang Quiapo fame)

Yong party naman should not be treated as an opportunity para sa isang libreng tsibugan. Para ito sa mga kaibigang kilala ... at ang party is the time for them to catch up and reminisce the good old days. Nakakailang isipin na nagkumustahan kayo ... tapos may limang miron sa tabi ninyo na nakamasid at nakikinig ... at kung minsan nakisabat pa sa usapan. 

What could be more appalling .... ay kung maisipan pa ng mga kaibigan mo ang mag-take home at walang galang silang kukuha ng plastic bag para magbalot. 

Isip isip mga ineng at tsong. Nabusog ka na ... gusto mo ng take out para sa libreng hapunan?

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