Victim Mentality

A victim mentality is having a mindset where you often feel you are like a victim ... when in reality there is no evidence to prove it otherwise.

A person with a victim mentality often inflicts guilt on someone to gain control. "Hindi po ako nakabayad ng utang ko kasi naospital si Misis." He is using the victim's card to have a free pass ... so people will pity them ... give them an allowance or forgive them for not paying on time. 

If it is just a one-time thing ... that's okay.  But when it becomes a habit and you have the compulsion to use this as a ploy to escape from personal responsibility ... then it becomes a problem. Psychological problem ... that is.

It becomes a problem ... when you start blaming others ... and having trouble accepting accountability ... like taking ownership of what happens as a result of your own choices and actions. "Kasalanan ng parents ko kung bakit hindi ako nakatrabaho sa Switzerland. Ayaw kasi nila gastosan ang mga pangangailangan ko." 

The truth of the matter was ... you were buried in debts ... and who paid for all your monetary indiscretions? Your parents ... who else? And you ignored the most important reasons why you failed ... and chose your parents instead as scapegoats ... a human pariah taking the blame for you. To be more blatant ... they were more of a VICTIM in my estimate ... like you claim to be the victim.

A person with a victim mindset often uses past hardships to excuse present wrongdoing. "Only child kasi ako ... kaya medyo spoiled." Or "galing kasi ako sa broken family kaya ako ganito." They oftentimes squeeze melodramatic tidbits of their past life to innoculate them from culpability and criticism.

A victim mentality is an SOS signal - a mnemonic distress signal indicating a crisis in need of immediate action.  So much so ... if the afflicted continue to play the victim to avoid repudiation and ostracism ... to gain empathy and sympathy ... to attract attention ... and get bonus points and fringe benefits from all this pretense ... a RED FLAG needs to be raised.

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