Quotes on Entitlement

 To understand the quote from The HippoCritic ... let us define some terms so you will understand the quote better.

-manipulate -a person who influences others by attacking the mental and emotional side of another to get what they want. They use deception, coercion, and trickery to maintain power.

-underhanded- dishonest, deceptive, and sly.

-hypocritical - a person who pretends to have virtues and qualities that she doesn't have.  They are also those people whose actions contradict their stated beliefs or feelings.

-conditional love- is love with conditions. A classic example is when a person says," I will love you if you buy me this ring." This love can be withdrawn if certain expectations were not met.

-veiled threat-  a threat that is not directly stated but is implied using disguised language. The threat is masked and not openly expressed.

-retraction- a withdrawal of a statement or accusation

Responding To Readers

Well, we can't stop readers from asking questions about entitlement ... and one of them asked if there are entitlement issues between husband and wife.

Of course, there are ... entitlement issues can dog any type of relationship ... it is not only confined to parents and the child, it can also happen to husband and wife, to his colleagues and co-workers, to his classmate ... even to the community.

Having a husband who expects you to bow to them is infuriating and aggravating I don't blame her if she contemplates ending the marriage. A husband who thinks all the decisions should come from him and need his approval is annoying. If a partner makes the top call ... including what kind of dress you can wear ... or he accompanies you to buy groceries so he can watch eagle-eyed the items you purchased... his constant meddling can be exasperating.

Do you have a wife who believes she deserves better treatment than you do ... or some rules don't apply to you. Is she sensitive when all her expectations and hopes were thwarted ... and she feels violated ... and does her last breakdown give her a classic meltdown ... in your books? Does she want men to adhere to rigid behavioral standards - that men are expected to be successful, strong, and dominant?  Does she think what others need and want are less important ... and the only thing that matters is her needs?

Feeling entitled is toxic. Consider these other scenarios.

1. Are you one of those husband or wife ... who shower their family with love ... because they expect to be showered the same? Actually, there is nothing wrong with that. They are DOING THE THING RIGHT and it is the RIGHT THING TO DO. It becomes tricky and problematic, however ... when one expects interest and an added premium to the love he is investing. Is he trying to show love because he wishes to get loved back? 

This kind of mindset is disturbing ... because they are putting themselves on the precipice of disappointment. The question however ... can they really get the love back as they expected? Being entitled maniacs... they showed love ... so the family owed to love them back? The drawback here is ... if things didn't go in their direction ... I can't imagine how they feel when the love they expected was not enough ... or they feel the affection they received was scant and scarce as they sulk in bed feeling doom and gloom?

2. Are you one of those husband and wife who expect recognition of your hard work ... and a simple THANK YOU will brighten your day? After working under the heat of the sun for eight hours ... do you expect your wife and children to give you a welcome kiss when you went home? 

Or are you a wife who after the draining tough morning of taking care of the children, doing the laundry, and ironing them ... did you expect your husband an attitude of gratitude and invite you for a dinner date at fast food? A gift perhaps ... or sex? Having that belief that your partner owed you something (being an entitled person)how you wish your efforts will be appreciated and you expected they should give you something ... whatever form it may be.

Any sins of omission and commission ... become an indelible sin.

3. Are you one of that husband and wife who despite being married maintains a group of friends they just can't ignore and resist.  Ask yourself if this regular habitue of your household ... impacts your marriage and relationship? 

Do your besties meddles with your family and its dynamics? Does your husband's friend's drinking in the house factor into the disharmony of your married life?  Or does your wife's BFF has been anointed by you as the "pambansang sawsawera" of the year award? It is not unlikely that the people frequenting your home can give advice or suggestions that may poison the relationship and stunt its growth.

Being an entitled person ... watch out and be wary. It is hard to be placed in a rock and a hard place ... and you will force to choose - family or friends?

4. Are you one of that husband and wife whose main problem is Money? Before you plunge into marriage have you ever asked yourself if you are ready to embark on this journey ... or if you are just playing house? Are both of you college graduates and have a steady job? Have you trained yourself to be independent ... away from the peering eyes of your parents? Do you have a house of your own? Do you know that living on your own ... you have to pay for utilities, bills, and groceries? How many children are you planning to have? These are some of the questions would be parents should ask themselves. If your answer to most questions is NO ... then financial problems will dog and dragged you to no end.

For entitled people, they will not only drag themselves ... but will include everybody as part and parcel of their monetary problems where there is no end in sight.

Ending this post I just want to say ...You can get past these attitudes of entitlement. However, one has to understand why you were in the middle of a quicksand of feelings of entitlement in the first place... or why your spouse has these feelings where she is being sucked in and there is no way out. Without insight, you are in limbo and everything is dark and there is no light to pave the way.

And then when you get a clearer picture of yourself and your feelings and your situation, together, you can come up with a plan that works for both of you.

PH Coast Guard vessel binomba ng tubig ng China sa WPS

Abraham's One Liner

 

SB19 'I WANT YOU' Music Video

An Avalanche of Entitlement Inquiries

 

We are being deluged with questions about ENTITLEMENT. One way or another we were able to reach a lot of people and because of their thirst to ask questions makes me believe that a lot of our readers can relate to it.

1. Why do ENTITLED people feel the way they do?

This early I just want to point out that understanding human behavior is not an easy task.  It is so complex that sometimes it drives you nuts if you extend another mile to understand them. Entitled people want everything given to them for free - as if it is their birthright, an endowment of sorts. Their unreasonable expectations can be traced to some deeply rooted anxiety and self-doubt. Why do entitled people behave like they do? It is a narcissistic trait that's why? Why they think the world revolves around them is an enigma ... but considering them egocentric whose lexicon is limited to I, me, and myself - no wonder their views about the world focus only on themselves and their entrenched and firmly-fixed insecurities.  It will be an exaggeration if the Philippines is already losing its hold in the West Philippine Sea and narcissists still have ME as their favorite pastime.

2. How do you help ENTITLED people to ease up their behavior?

There are many ways to help them, but helping them will make you more enemies than friends. It is frustrating helping them because their initial response is to send you right away to Timbuktu - a place so far you don't need to invade or peek at their privacy. Try these tips ... and be sure to keep in mind to be careful because it is one hell of a roller-coaster ride.

a. Teach them to be contented. Try to disconnect them from their God-given entitlements - so that they will appreciate their situation more - rather than considering it a curse.

b. Teach them that money does not equal happiness.  I have seen farmers doubling as carabaos when they plow the field ... but you see them smile and happy.  And I know for a fact that the richest people are the most unhappy. Well, not all, but material stuff is not a guarantee to give you eternal bliss.

c. Teach them we are better off than our ancestors where before people use to walk on foot... or riding camels. With the advancement of technology ... everything is placed on a silver platter.

d. Teach them to count their blessings and not focus on what they don't have.

e. Teach them everybody needs money ... not only them. And everybody works with his family as a priority every payday ... and you are not his immediate family. If they don't have anything to spare ... who gives you the license to badmouth them.

e. avoid false entitlement - this usually comes as an offshoot when parents give their children what they want without breaking a sweat to earn it. The child creates the fantasy that he was brought into this world to be served. That's really how strange the mind works (the parents only do what they can to make them happy) instead the child has conditioned his mind that good life is forever and his family is immune to whatever economic reversal other families are experiencing. And when things didn't go as planned ... you can expect major temper tantrums and meltdowns.

Some Questions About Entitlement

Several friends and followers after reading our post on ENTITLEMENT have these questions.

1. Is being entitled bad?

It is bad ... if your question meant the effects of entitlement on the person and the people around him. A person having high expectations all the time can always end up with some kind of displeasure ,,,, when his hopes and wishes were not fulfilled. They think they are superior compared to ordinary mortals. They are overly concerned about prestige and power and lack empathy for others. They tend to think highly of themselves and overestimated their abilities. A person who newly knew him thinks they are arrogant, opinionated, and conceited. A person that is ENTITLED can also have a strained and unhealthy relationship with family, wife, and friends because he often has a high or double standard for others. An example is ... he abhors and treats gay people with disgust when he almost has one such relationship before.

2. Is being ENTITLED a mental illness?

A person with a high sense of ENTITLEMENT is a self-absorbed person who is only concerned about I, me, mine, we, and us. They don't think much about how others feel ... or empathize about how he thinks about others. He doesn't care about the impact of what he is doing because is overwhelmed with his obsession and preoccupation with himself. An extreme sense of entitlement may be part and parcel of certain personality disorders like NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) or APD (anti-social personality disorder). An example is ... a person who has a high-paying job ... can't make his full potential because he is more into free-loading as he expects his parents or siblings to give him a free pass to all his needs. Their motto is: "My money is my money ... and your money is mine..."

3. When does SELF-ABSORPTION show his ugly head?

Self-centered people are not only selfish but also egotistical. They have a skewed view of the value of other people's worth because they are more preoccupied with their own interests that listening to others is nil to none. They think they deserve better than what he has right now. They keep people around them in a negative mental rut as they are unable to see another person's perspective. They frown at others' opinions and suggestions and always make a mountain ... out of a molehill. Example: Can you imagine the question "Where are we going to eat today ... " can make an ENTITLED person go ballistic if somebody suggested a place he doesn't like. They are always calling the shot - (be in charge, be in control, be in command, be the boss,  be at the helm and they always run the show).