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Abraham's One Liner

 

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An Avalanche of Entitlement Inquiries

 

We are being deluged with questions about ENTITLEMENT. One way or another we were able to reach a lot of people and because of their thirst to ask questions makes me believe that a lot of our readers can relate to it.

1. Why do ENTITLED people feel the way they do?

This early I just want to point out that understanding human behavior is not an easy task.  It is so complex that sometimes it drives you nuts if you extend another mile to understand them. Entitled people want everything given to them for free - as if it is their birthright, an endowment of sorts. Their unreasonable expectations can be traced to some deeply rooted anxiety and self-doubt. Why do entitled people behave like they do? It is a narcissistic trait that's why? Why they think the world revolves around them is an enigma ... but considering them egocentric whose lexicon is limited to I, me, and myself - no wonder their views about the world focus only on themselves and their entrenched and firmly-fixed insecurities.  It will be an exaggeration if the Philippines is already losing its hold in the West Philippine Sea and narcissists still have ME as their favorite pastime.

2. How do you help ENTITLED people to ease up their behavior?

There are many ways to help them, but helping them will make you more enemies than friends. It is frustrating helping them because their initial response is to send you right away to Timbuktu - a place so far you don't need to invade or peek at their privacy. Try these tips ... and be sure to keep in mind to be careful because it is one hell of a roller-coaster ride.

a. Teach them to be contented. Try to disconnect them from their God-given entitlements - so that they will appreciate their situation more - rather than considering it a curse.

b. Teach them that money does not equal happiness.  I have seen farmers doubling as carabaos when they plow the field ... but you see them smile and happy.  And I know for a fact that the richest people are the most unhappy. Well, not all, but material stuff is not a guarantee to give you eternal bliss.

c. Teach them we are better off than our ancestors where before people use to walk on foot... or riding camels. With the advancement of technology ... everything is placed on a silver platter.

d. Teach them to count their blessings and not focus on what they don't have.

e. Teach them everybody needs money ... not only them. And everybody works with his family as a priority every payday ... and you are not his immediate family. If they don't have anything to spare ... who gives you the license to badmouth them.

e. avoid false entitlement - this usually comes as an offshoot when parents give their children what they want without breaking a sweat to earn it. The child creates the fantasy that he was brought into this world to be served. That's really how strange the mind works (the parents only do what they can to make them happy) instead the child has conditioned his mind that good life is forever and his family is immune to whatever economic reversal other families are experiencing. And when things didn't go as planned ... you can expect major temper tantrums and meltdowns.

Some Questions About Entitlement

Several friends and followers after reading our post on ENTITLEMENT have these questions.

1. Is being entitled bad?

It is bad ... if your question meant the effects of entitlement on the person and the people around him. A person having high expectations all the time can always end up with some kind of displeasure ,,,, when his hopes and wishes were not fulfilled. They think they are superior compared to ordinary mortals. They are overly concerned about prestige and power and lack empathy for others. They tend to think highly of themselves and overestimated their abilities. A person who newly knew him thinks they are arrogant, opinionated, and conceited. A person that is ENTITLED can also have a strained and unhealthy relationship with family, wife, and friends because he often has a high or double standard for others. An example is ... he abhors and treats gay people with disgust when he almost has one such relationship before.

2. Is being ENTITLED a mental illness?

A person with a high sense of ENTITLEMENT is a self-absorbed person who is only concerned about I, me, mine, we, and us. They don't think much about how others feel ... or empathize about how he thinks about others. He doesn't care about the impact of what he is doing because is overwhelmed with his obsession and preoccupation with himself. An extreme sense of entitlement may be part and parcel of certain personality disorders like NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) or APD (anti-social personality disorder). An example is ... a person who has a high-paying job ... can't make his full potential because he is more into free-loading as he expects his parents or siblings to give him a free pass to all his needs. Their motto is: "My money is my money ... and your money is mine..."

3. When does SELF-ABSORPTION show his ugly head?

Self-centered people are not only selfish but also egotistical. They have a skewed view of the value of other people's worth because they are more preoccupied with their own interests that listening to others is nil to none. They think they deserve better than what he has right now. They keep people around them in a negative mental rut as they are unable to see another person's perspective. They frown at others' opinions and suggestions and always make a mountain ... out of a molehill. Example: Can you imagine the question "Where are we going to eat today ... " can make an ENTITLED person go ballistic if somebody suggested a place he doesn't like. They are always calling the shot - (be in charge, be in control, be in command, be the boss,  be at the helm and they always run the show).

Knowing The Self-Entitled People in Our Midst

People with ENTITLEMENT COMPLEX have this belief that rules that are supposed to be applicable to all ... can be bent  ... to accommodate them or for their benefit. They expect preferential treatment, access rights, benefits  and privileges that is only accorded to the chosen few. Some of them don't even realize they are their hometown's poster boy for toxicity and negativity. They have deluded themselves that they always on the right and the sane side of things. They didn't realize that some of what they do are bordering on the bizarre ... critics can always jump to conclusions they are just a stone-throw away from the cuckoo's bin. 

Here are some tips for knowing people who have placed themselves on a pedestal, who think of themselves as the chosen few ... the untouchables ... and to put it more bluntly - people who thought they are always above the law.

1.  You are SELF-ENTITLED if you are expecting you can also use the parking areas that are clearly marked for use of people with disabilities.

2. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you think traffic officers will be lenient to you when you are overspeeding or you insist on double parking.

3. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you think security guards will give you a pass for using the VIP lounge in airports and terminals.

4. You are SELF-ENTITLED if  you expect your parents will give you preferential treatment in rules about curfews at home.

5. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you think your siblings will allow you to use his car because it is your birthday.

6.  You are SELF-ENTITLED if you thought nobody will critique you for wearing a provocative dress inside the church.

7.  You are SELF-ENTITLED when you make it a habit of keeping towels and utensils in hotels just because you want it as souvenirs.

8. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you hope for the maitre d to give you the best seat in a Las Vegas show.

9.  You are SELF-ENTITLED if you assumed you can borrow money from anybody and never pay it back.

10. You are SELF-ENTITLED when your mom gives you money to buy Chickenjoy you opted to buy Chicken McNuggets instead because that's what you like.

11. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you expect your parents to support you until their dying day

12. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you presume you can just bad-mouth anybody and call them names just because you hate them.

13. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you always ask for small favors from others and you can't return back the favors because you think it's not your obligation.

14. You are SELF-ENTITLED if you don't show gratitude, respect, thanks, appreciation, or indebtedness to people who have helped you one way or the other.

15, You are SELF-ENTITLED that your parent's wish is to make you the best of what you choose to be ... instead, you retrogressed into someone so stubborn, irresponsible, and self-destructing.

Self-destructive behavior is when you do something that is sure to cause self-harm. After your problem is solved you are expected to change and never go back to your old ways. But some people never learn their lessons.  Instead of moving forward ... they step backward by going into drugs, binge eating, and compulsive activities like gambling, gaming, or shopping that will aggravate further their situation.

Abraham's One Liner

 

We are riding high on our ENTITLEMENT discussion.  Here is another eye-opener.

 Putting yourself FIRST is not SELFISH.

 Thinking about yourself CONSTANTLY is SELFISH.

 To all people with ENTITLEMENT COMPLEX please know the DIFFERENCE.