Are You Being Used Part 3

For Boyfriend/girlfriend ... take the cue from here,  Some indicators could help you if he is into you or just using you. Is he in a relationship with you to show off ... peer pressure ... or do family expectations?   Or was he in a relationship with you because of money or just sex? Does he treat you like an option instead of a priority? 

And why are there commitment issues?  Does he fear the relationship, such as fear of being hurt, fear of being with the wrong person, fear of things not working out, and other relationship-related anxieties?

Are you in an unhealthy relationship that is often characterized by: controlling behaviors, mistrust, disrespect, and poor communication?

Read on to explore a few signs that he is using you 

1. You are an open book ... and you feel he is a closed book with too many secrets on the side.

2. He is hesitant introducing you to his parents or siblings.

3. You don't know where he lives ... When ask he just feels uncomfortable.

4.  Your conversations lack vitality ... others are blockbusters while yours are lackluster.

5.  You haven't met any of his friends ... let alone ... anyone he knows.

6.  You ruined his day when you open up topics on intimacy ... and marriage is a big NO-NO.

7.  You gave too many favors ... too many gifts too ... while he offers none.

8.  You have a communication gap ... he is reluctant to express views and opinions.

9.  He talks about current events, politics, or the NBA finals... but he is mum about what you are to him.

10 He seems distant and cold. There is no emotion involved when you are together.

11. You know little about his personal life ... as in zilch.

12. He looked like he has ulterior motives ... and just leading you on.

13. He gets upset ... if you start to ask questions.

14. He is always busy ... and doesn't have time for you.

15. His needs come first over yours.

16.  He says he loves you but action speaks louder than words.

17.  You end up picking up the bill wherever you go 

18. You are the only one making the effort ... to make your relationship works.

19. You don't feel special.  He is not there to please you ... and he is not thoughtful.

20. He is just having sex ... and not making love to you

Responding To Netizens Comment

Netizen: I just love your posts on Are You Being Abused? I have a question though ... when is the best time to end a relationship?

Response: There is no magic formula for a successful BF/GF or parent/children relationship. We give second chances (sometimes 6 to 10 times more) but when all indications point to the fact that it is not working and you are being abused, some relationships are not worth saving.

If you tried every other option to give the relationship a second breath of life, but the other party is not ready and prepared to make any adjustment or maybe change for the better, the time has come to bail out and quit.

If the person has no intention to modify his old abusive habits walking away from the relationship is a welcome option and may be the best alternative to protect your overall welfare and state of health.

One should remember that all relationships are unique and different from each other.  When you have a bad hair day ... emotions are running high and you can be petulant, resentful, and testy. And it can be denied that the aforementioned feelings can inundate and spill over .... even in relationships that have stood the test of time.

When abuse is present and you became a willing doormat and a fall guy for your partner it is imperative to remind yourself that you deserve better - a marriage where you feel safe, happy, and respected.

If you suspect that you might be involved in an unhealthy relationship, spend some time considering the impact it has on your life, whether these issues can be fixed, and whether it might be time to end the relationship.

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Avid patron din siya ng Lazada at Shoppee.  Halos lahat yata ng bagay DESERVE niya. 

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Kapag wala ka nang pera at gabundok ang utang ... DESERVE mo rin yan!

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Are You Being Used? 1

Did you ever feel you were being used by a friend or a family member?  I know it hurts and you can't just fathom somebody close to you is manipulating you and taking advantage of you.

The feeling is revolting and there are times you ask yourself how you allowed yourself to be misled or exploited. You feel you were in limbo and you are beginning to lose trust in anybody around you. You feel you were hit or attacked by an opponent on the blind side. You were taken by surprise uninformed and unprepared.

There are some telltale signs of whether a friend or family member is just using you. Review these hallmark signs and cues to whether it is time to pull the plug and get rid of these erring nincompoops in your immediate vicinity.

Ask yourself this:  Did you realize this friend or family member reaches out only when he or she wants to ask a favor? Does your friend or family member texted or called you to know how your day was ... or made you feel you existed? Had they been on social media communicating with you? 

Had they ever said " Let's catch up about things that we missed? Did they ever visit you ... to check on you? Had they been thinking about you ... and had you been always in their minds and hearts?

Take note of their silence ... and their unavailability ... If during Christmas and New Year you see them partying with other friends ... and you languish in the narrow confines of your room ... this is a wake-up call.  And if this becomes a continued template and design ... then it is possible you are being used.

Are You Being Used Part 2

Do you have genuine friends or family members? After a bad day, are they someone you'd ring for a chat to make you feel better, or would the conversation end up being about them?​  

Are they expecting you to listen to them but are not willing to hear what you have to say?

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to smell if you are being used or not. There are still a lot of red flags and alarm signs that you need to consider. Huwag magbulag-bulagan at magbait-baitan ... hindi ka naman siguro tanga para hindi mo ito mapansin.

In a relationship, being used might involve selfishness and disinterest in your needs. It may also involve someone only being interested in a financial relationship while refusing to make any other type of emotional commitment.

To cut to the chase ... you are being used if you see these:

1. The conversation is always about I, me. mine, we, us, ours.  It is never about you.

2. They exclude you from social events... they go out with other friends without you.

3. You are constantly being told NO. And they want you to say YES and agree with them all the time.

4. The favorite topic is always about them. Conversations are a one-way street.

1. 5. They always let you pick up the check. ... You are always paying for everything.
2. 
   
3. 6. You always have to come to their rescue. They get angry when you are not available.  You always have to be at their beck and call.
4. 
   
5. 7. They never say thank you. Because there is always the next time.  It is a never-ending seeking for solutions to small and big problems and issues.

8. They never take you out ... you took them out as if you promise them I am here for you till kingdom come.

9. They put NO  effort into saving your relationship. They expect you to be there to always understand them.

1. 
   
2. 10. They're always asking for favors. As if they were born needy ... wanting help all the time. They reach out to you because they are bored and they expect you to entertain them.

11. They pressure you into almost everything.  They create the problem and you supply the solution.

12. They are lying to you. Remember they can do no wrong ... because they are always in the wrong side of the issue.

13. They are always the victim ... the innocent party and you became the fall guy.

14. They invite you only as an afterthought.  Or at the last minute. Maybe for the leftovers.

15. They never take advice.  They prefer to complain about how unfair life is. They never take responsibility.

1. .
2. 16. They make you feel guilty about the problems they created. They made the problem ... and they blame you for it.
3. 
   

17. You feel drained trying to solve their problems. Everything that happens in their life is a pulsating suspense thriller.

18. You are a mere spectator in their life ... while they are hugging the spotlight. You check on their life on the sidelines and are ready to go centerstage when the occasion calls for it.

19. They always say they will return the favor ... or they will change for the better ... but they never had.  The next time they call you ... you are still dealing with the same problem.

20.  And lastly they are not grateful. They are not genuinely appreciative of what you have done for them.