Choice Cut

 (Some Pinoy programs and movies on TV barely make a glitch on our radar screen, but there were lines uttered that invaded our collective consciousness so much so that we find ourselves echoing its most famous lines in our everyday conversations. Some lines manage to put a smile on our faces making us happy and contented.

Whether intentional or accidental, the classic lines resonate with us, because we can relate to the scene and see our lives being lived out onscreen.)

No Other Woman is one movie that is pregnant with smart and funny remarks ... and not only that ...  it is replete with one-liners and punchlines ... that give the viewers snapshots of how witty the scriptwriter was ... they did it with much gusto. Those one-shot gags had the message stick in people's minds and set the stage for deeper conversations.

Without further ado here are some wisecracks that almost made me fall to the floor.

One writer summarized it all ... and I agree that the lines sizzle like those one sizzling sisig with pungent and earthy flavored hot chili pepper.

Anne Curtis: (as the sophisticated and seductive playgirl/heiress Kara Zalderiaga)

• I know the market, because I AM the market. 
• No pressure. Just shut up and kiss me. And don’t you dare fall in love with me? 
• I’m not a mistress. I never was and I never will be one. 
  
• A woman will only be a mistress if there’s an emotional attachment. 
• Paano mo naman malalaman na masarap pala pag di mo titikman? Kahit alam mong bawal, labanan mo cos’ eventually your body will just get used to it. 
• You can call me anything you want: a snake, a bitch, another woman. But I will never be a pathetic, boring housewife. 
• Ano ang gagawin ninyo if the only man you love is unfortunately married? I am not gonna give up Ram without putting up a goddamn fight! (sabay tapon ng wine glass. 
• When you see a big empty space, that’s when you realize you’re alone. 
  
• Your wife? (with highest level of mockery, sabay twitch ng lips. Achieve!!)

Cristine Reyes: (as Derek’s perfect and subservient wife who later on fights back)

• Bikini mo ba iyan o balat mo? (referring to Anne’s snake-skin swimwear)
• Baka makita mo pang nilalagyan ko ng lason ang pagkain mo. Joke lang. Medyo off yung humor ko lately. 
• Mababaliw siguro ako kapag nalaman kong may babae siya. Baka mapatay ko iyong kabit. Silang dalawa, actually. 
  
• Alam mo kasi ang marriage parang exclusive village. Kailangan mong bantayan para hindi makapasok ang mga squatters. 
• Why don’t you have dinner with us tonight? Pa-thank you ko na rin dahil kinuha mo ang asawa ko… bilang supplier ng furtinure sa resort ninyo.
• The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Pero sa ganda mong iyan, siguradong marami kang alam na shortcuts. 
• Ano bang mas madaling kalaban, yung p*tang mahirap o yung p*tang mayaman? 
• Hindi ako to! Pero ginagawa ko to para sayo! 

Carmi Martin: (Cristine’s mom who hailed from the province. Her husband had a mistress too)

• Kung ahas siya mas ahas ako! Tahimik pero kapag kinanti – nanunuklaw!
• Naku. Ganyan talaga kapag galing sa makating dikya, nagmamarka. (Referring to a kiss mark on Derek’s neck)
• Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo. Maraming snatcher. Maagawan ka. Lumaban ka! 
• Panahon na para i-pack-up ‘yang si Lucy Torres mo. Ilabas mo na diyan si Gretchen Barretto. Sabi nga niya sa Magkaribal, ‘You want war? I’ll give you war.’ Anak, ako na ang bahala sa red stilettos mo! 
• Pare-parehong p*ta lang iyon! Yung p*tang mayaman, original ang Hermes. Yung mahirap, binili sa Greenhills. 

Was there anything that the writer missed and left out? 

The film is top-notch and the message is clearly delivered. Ditto with other departments such as acting, direction, cinematography, and storytelling. 

It was a night of witty quotable quotes ... as the lines were noteworthy ... it can quoted again and again ... thanks to its effectiveness ... the lines were short, crisp, tight, condensed, and succinct.