Ways To Help a Depressed Person

There are some ways to help a depressed person.

1. One of them is listening.   The rule of thumb here is if you are the person assigned to take care of her, you should be a good and active listener.

It’s better to be interested than interesting. To do this, be quick to listen and slow to speak, and not interrupt her. You seek first to understand instead of to be understood.  This will create a safe environment for the other person to feel heard and valued. By becoming genuinely interested in the other person’s perspective, you help the other person trust you and share honestly what they believe and why they believe it.

2. Another proven tip to make you a good and active listener is not to judge. Be empathetic as empathy is the ability to understand the feeling of others.

Listening is empathy in action as you try to see a situation through another person’s eyes. If you see or consider something through another person's eyes, you consider it in the way that she does and share it from her point of view.

You can’t do this when you’re judging them as they open up to you. Remember that people will open up more when you’re not judging them. Extend respect, compassion, and grace following the dictum of the Golden Rule. Extend respect the way that you want respect extended to you.

3. Encourage the person to vent or talk. Sadly, the Pinoy culture doesn’t teach people to verbalize their emotional wounds. Our culture encourages people to contain and quash unwanted feelings. You heard your mom telling you not to complain about problems or not to reside or“dwell” on them. How often have you heard friends telling you to “get over it” and to “be robust and tough,” meaning “don’t feel anything—and if you do, tell nobody.  Don’t even talk about it or show it.

For men especially, emotions like sadness, loneliness, anxiety disappointment, guilt, and shame are treated as inappropriate. In a macho world, I can't forget my dad telling me when blue spells come,  "Be strong ... little man."

As a result, many people end up trying to hide their tears and vulnerability, thus creating more alienation and isolation. 

Ironically, suppressing our feelings and being deprived of warm contact actually makes us more susceptible to depression.

4. And the most practical way ... be with your family or friends and watch your favorite TV show even if they don't know that

you are dying inside.  You can also have the option of confiding to them. 

5. And also don't go out and drown your misery with alcohol.  Alcohol is never the answer to all our problems.  And by the way, if you forget this bit of information: Everyone has a problem, I don't know of anyone who is exempted from it.