BBM Made Me Do It Doctrine

 

"BBM Made Me Do It" Doctrine

Is Hariruki hallucinating? Is he sensing things such as visions, sounds, or smells that seem real but are not? These things are created and products of the mind.

In the latest episode of "The World According to Hariruki," the laws of cause and effect have been officially suspended. 

In this gripping drama, our protagonist, Harry Roque, has discovered a revolutionary new legal theory: The "Someone Else Pushed Me" Doctrine.

According to Harry, his current predicament—which includes a colorful collection of POGO entanglements, contempt citations, and a lifestyle that would make a soap opera writer blush—is not his fault. 

No, no. Apparently, the President personally moonlighted as a career counselor and forced Harry to make a series of very specific, very questionable life choices.

1. The "Forced" Financial Portfolio

It’s a heart-wrenching image, isn’t it? Harry, standing at a bank counter, weeps as a mysterious "force" compels him to open a joint account with a young pageant winner.

• The Narrative: "BBM made me share my ATM card with a boy toy! It was a matter of national security!"

• The Reality: Unless the President is also a matchmaker and a bank manager, Harry seems to have handled the "Joint Account Management" department all by himself. He didn't just walk into a POGO hub; he practically laid the red carpet and checked the wifi signal.

2. The "Involuntary" Lying

Harry’s performances in Congress are the stuff of legend. He was cited for contempt not once, but with the frequency of a loyalty card holder.

• The Defense: "I was forced to lie to the committee! My tongue was hijacked by Malacañang!"

• The Truth: Harry’s relationship with the truth has always been "complicated," but his recent behavior suggests he’s finally filed for a permanent divorce from reality. You don't get held in contempt because of the President; you get held in contempt because you treat a legislative hearing like an open-mic night at a comedy club.

3. The "Accidental" Land Grab

Then there’s the land-grabbing allegations. Apparently, Harry woke up one day and realized he had accidentally "acquired" property that didn't belong to him.

• The Excuse: "The administration’s aura made me greedy!"

• The Reality: Greed is a solo sport, Harry. You don’t need a coach to help you crave power and money; you just need a mirror. To blame the current administration for your own appetite for more dough is like a shark blaming the ocean for making him hungry.

4. The Self-Made Monster

The most satirical element of this entire saga is the "Victim" card. Harry is currently portraying himself as a political martyr, a man being persecuted for his beliefs.

• The Facts: Most martyrs are persecuted for their ideas. Harry is being scrutinized for his ledgers, his connections, and his inexplicable desire to be the "POGO King's" favorite lawyer.

He didn't just fall from grace; he took a calculated, high-dive jump into a pool of his own making, only to complain that the water is too wet and it’s the lifeguard’s fault.

At the end of the day, Harry Roque is the ultimate Self-Made Disaster. He spent years building a reputation as a human rights lawyer, only to spend the last few years dismantling it with the precision of a demolition crew.

You can blame the President, the moon, or the price of galunggong, but at the end of the day, you’re the one who signed the papers, opened the accounts, and told the tall tales.

 You didn't just ruin your career; you turned your life into a cautionary tale that parents will use to scare their children into studying ethics.