I saw this image today in Facebook. I was smiling ... but deep inside I thought ... it is a good topic to discuss.
Anybody can relate to it and for sure a lot of people have experience it one time or another.
Ang taong gusto magbago ay ang mga sociopath. They have a split image.
On one side, he projects the virtues of a soothing mentor ... a suave, balanced evangelist and composed brother.
On the other hand, he can be a devious and cunning schemer ... a cartoon villain combing his mustache (shades of a senator ... oh never mind)
The phrase "Ayusin ko muna ang buhay ko" (I'll fix my life first) has become the unofficial mantra of modern Filipinos belonging to this species.
It's plastered on empowering visual quotes and inspirational posters, whispered in hushed tones during therapy sessions, and even used as a justification for somebody cutting in line at the siomai and siopao kiosk.
But that's a disturbing strategic deployment of "Ayusin ko muna ang buhay ko" after actively making someone else's life significantly worse.
"It's the 'I'll fix my life after I've finished using yours as a stepping stone' approach," explains experts and relationship therapists specializing in victims of "Ayusin ko muna ang buhay ko" perpetrators.
"They rationalize their destructive behavior by claiming they need to 'focus on themselves' while simultaneously leaving a trail of broken hearts, shattered dreams, and unpaid debts."
The problem, experts say, lies in the inherent selfishness of the phrase when divorced from any sense of accountability.
"It's like saying, 'I'm going to learn how to drive safely... after I've totally wrecked your car,'" says lawyers specializing in cases of emotional and financial devastation caused by individuals undergoing "self-improvement."
The typical "Ayusin ko muna ang buhay ko" sociopath (because let's be honest, that's often what we're talking about) follows a predictable pattern:
1. The Charm Offensive: They shower you with attention, promises, and the illusion that you are the key to their "fixing."
2. The Exploitation Phase: They leverage your resources, connections, and emotional support to further their own goals, often at your expense.
3. The "Ayusin Ko Muna" Dump: Once they've extracted everything they need, they declare their need to "focus on themselves," leaving you to pick up the broken pieces.
4. The Instagram Enlightenment: They post inspirational quotes about self-love and personal growth, conveniently omitting the fact that their "growth" was fertilized by your misery.
So, how do you avoid becoming a victim of the "Ayusin ko muna ang buhay ko" scam?
Experts recommend the following:
Trust your gut: If someone's "self-improvement" plan involves actively harming others, run.
Demand accountability: "Ayusin ko muna ang buhay ko" is not a get-out-of-jail-free card.
Remember the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated... unless you're a sociopath, in which case, just keep reading self-help books and leave us alone.
In related news, a local politician was overheard saying, "Ayusin ko muna ang career ko," shortly after firing all his staff and blaming them for his corruption scandals.
"Have you been victimized by an 'Ayusin ko muna ang buhay ko' perpetrator? Share your story in the comments!
